ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

25 Things You Should Never Say During a Police Interrogation

Updated on January 3, 2015
Joan Blondell in a 1938 film There's Always a Woman
Joan Blondell in a 1938 film There's Always a Woman | Source
Even people in chicken suits get interrogatged
Even people in chicken suits get interrogatged | Source
This man in the rabbit suit is being harshly-questioned by an impatient police officer
This man in the rabbit suit is being harshly-questioned by an impatient police officer | Source

ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN INTERROGATED

As a gesture of sincere respect for you, my followers, I am not going to lead you through a long, drawn-out introduction to this piece. You are all intelligent people. You all know what the terms “police,” and “interrogation” mean, so that takes care of that.

I will say that from all I have watched on various documentaries and articles printed in reputable publications, a “police interrogation,” can be scary, fearful, and cause the interrogate to sweat like it’s mid-July, but it is early January and a “police interrogation,” can drain the interrogate’s confidence to where they shake in their chair—being verbally-hammered by one or more police officers.

So when I wrote this piece, I put myself in the place of the person being interrogated and that put it all into a clear perspective for me. A person who is being interrogated is in an uneasy position and anything that rolls out of their mouth can be potentially-dangerous for them if they are arrested and put on trial, so it pays to be wise and very careful when one is being interrogated.

To help those in my readership who, God forbid, might be interrogated in the near future, here are

25 Things You Never Say During a Police Interrogation

These Puerto Rican Nationalists in the early 50's, will soon be arrested and severely-interrogated
These Puerto Rican Nationalists in the early 50's, will soon be arrested and severely-interrogated
Man arrested in The Big Easy and being interrogated by local police
Man arrested in The Big Easy and being interrogated by local police
This criminal, caught red-handed, is being questioned by the police officer standing over him.
This criminal, caught red-handed, is being questioned by the police officer standing over him.
Authorities question Nannie Doss, a suspected female associate of the local mob
Authorities question Nannie Doss, a suspected female associate of the local mob

Do you honestly think today's police interrogations really work?

See results
  1. (Woman being interrogated says to police officer): "Were you in a Charmin television commercial? You look like that brown stuff that was just floating around in the commode."
  2. "Why did those hippies call you guys pigs?"
  3. "Can I bother you for a drink of soda . . .and yeah, a cheeseburger and an order of fries?"
  4. "Can you talk a bit quiter? I need my evening nap?"
  5. "I will wager you, One-Hundred-Thousand Dollars, which just happens to be the exact amount of dough taken from Liberty National Bank three hours ago, that I can do your job as good or maybe better than you."
  6. "Has people over time nick-named you "Porky?"
  7. "I bet if you had a dozen doughnuts you would be in a better mood."
  8. "Yes, I have an older sister. She pole dances for a living and you cannot go out with her!"r
  9. "Have you ever taken a bribe, say like taking your drunk friend home instead of jail for a few bucks?"
  10. "Why can't I put my feet on the table?"
  11. "If you want me to talk, you better be getting me an apple pie, a bowl of chili, a razor and some shave cream. I am tired, hungry and feel so filthy."
  12. "Are you and the mayor's wife good friends? I see you at her house all of the time--especially when her husband, the mayor is out of town."
  13. "Ever heard of Weight-Watchers? Your pants are getting a bit snug in the rump area."
  14. "Have you ever been 'on the take'?"
  15. "Can you do an impression of Mr. Ed for me?"
  16. "Your not that ambitious are you? I hear that you are still a sargent after fifteen years."
  17. "The guys out there in the squad room tell me that you can look just like Jack Webb--and talk like him too."
  18. "I'll give you three guesses as to what my REAL name is."
  19. "Let's play Gunsmoke. You be Matt Dillion and I will be his sidekick, Festus Hagan and we can flush-out the bad guys."
  20. "You best be taking me to the restroom for my bowels haven't moved for two whole days."
  21. "What do you mean you wish it wasn't illegal to punch me in the face?"
  22. "I want to talk to a female police officer."
  23. "I dare you to take a swing at me!"
  24. "Can we hurry this along? I have a heavy date with my female parole officer."
  25. "Heyyyy, I know what's going on! This is going to be on COPS, right?"

Reenactment of "Interreo," 1948, Chicago, California
Reenactment of "Interreo," 1948, Chicago, California | Source

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Kailua-KonaGirl,

      Thank you so much for your comment and stopping by.

      I enjoy reading everyone's comments. Have a great day.

      Dear Carrie Lee Knight,

      Thank you, dear friend, for your sweet comments.

      Made my day.

      And you have a safe and happy weekend.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hey, dahoglund,

      Absolutely right. My dad, a military man, said that one of the first things that military men and women were taught were to never sign anything unless you read it over thoroughly.

      And your advice makes this perfect.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, sachin001,

      You show a lot of wisdom in your comment. Never learn what you will never use. But being prepared is nice too.

      Come back anytime.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, snakesmum,

      I am going to agree with you on your comment. I too would be so afraid that my mouth would be frozen.

      Thanks for your visit.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, vkwok,

      Thanks, good friend, for your comment. God bless you.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 

      3 years ago from Hawaii

      Hilarious!

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 

      3 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      In any interview it is best not to antagonize the other person.

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Carrie Lee Night 

      3 years ago from Northeast United States

      Funny ! :) I like give you three guesses what my REAL name is and the glazed doughnut reference. I also like throwing Mr. Ed in there. I've got one for you. Never say you want to pimp out their handcuffs :) Thanks for keeping it real.

    • Kailua-KonaGirl profile image

      June Parker 

      3 years ago from New York

      Ha!Ha! on the comments never to say, however, the videos are disturbing. My motto is "Always keep your mouth shut. Remain calm and agreeable. Let them arrest you and ask for attorney ."

    • sachin001 profile image

      Sachin 

      3 years ago from India

      Good hub Kenneth. However I would not really need to know about these all as I don't ever want to get into such situation. :)

    • profile image

      Snakesmum 

      3 years ago

      Wouldn't dream of saying any of those things! Would probably be too terrified and lose the ability to speak. :-)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)