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Toilet Rolls Handwash and Pasta Is This What it's Come To? Jeesh!

Updated on March 17, 2020
Nell Rose profile image

Nell is a writer and author. With over 300 articles, and three novels in print. She is also interested in current topics in the news.

Toilet Roll Madness
Toilet Roll Madness

Pandemic Madness

By now the whole world knows there is a Pandemic. In plain English, this means that the whole world possibly has cases of the Coronavirus or Corvid-19.

But it seems to me that it's not the only pandemic going on.

And this one is a worldwide thing too.

But what is it?

A toilet roll pandemic.

Yes I know, you couldn't make it up!

Brainwashing by phone
Brainwashing by phone

So, what started it?

From what I can find it seems that one person, yes one person......put a video online stating that 'OH MY GAWD THERE ARE NO TOILET ROLLS! WE ARE AN ISLAND WE WON'T HAVE TOILET ROLLS.....!

Now, anybody with an ounce of sense will know that ten minutes later, a message popped up saying, 'Don't worry we make them in Australia!'

Yeah, easy eh?

Well no.

And why is that?

Because we now have something we never had before.

A cell phone. Or mobile as it's called in the UK.

And what difference does that make, you ask?

Because it seems the Millennial generation has forgotten how to think for themselves!

This resulted in a very strange phenomenon.

The toilet roll Heist!

Duh! Dumbass! (model)
Duh! Dumbass! (model)

One person in Australia started a pandemic of shopping. But not just any old shopping, oh no.

Thousands of under 40s around the world decided in their wisdom, or lack of, to attack the stores with the energy of a million locusts.

Toilet paper, hand wash, and pasta!

Pasta? What the........?

Well, they said, with a look of complete boredom cross stupidity.

'It keeps for ages!'

Yeah so do tins of soup, beans, stews, eggs, cheese, and....

Shall I go on?

I mean....

Pasta Madness!
Pasta Madness!

What idiot would want to cook pasta when they are so ill they can't stand up??

I mean come on guys!

Start thinking for yourselves for goodness sake!

Okay. Let's cut it down a notch here.

Let us think about the queues.

You are standing in a queue a mile long. And no, that is not an exaggeration. The queue goes all the way around the car park, into the shop and back out.

Now, let's get back to the main Pandemic, shall we?



They are so concerned about stuffing their faces that they forget the reason why we are doing it in the first place!

Facts of Coronavirus
Facts of Coronavirus

Let's get to the facts shall we?

  • The virus DOES kill younger people too! For some reason, the young have this attitude of me me me. Older people dying? Ya who cares, it's all about me.
  • If you are the back of a queue and believe you have to stock up because of shortages, then why stand in the queue? By the time you get there, all the stock will have gone! If there is stuff there, then there is no shortage. Duh!
  • The things you have to stock up are: Handwash, yes, obviously. Cough mixture. Painkilling tablets. BUT NOT ANTIHYSTAMINES OR ANTI INFLAMMATORY DRUGS! (Evidently, they stop your body fighting the virus) Check that out online.
  • Buy medical gloves. If you use public transport they are good because you can throw them away when you get off.
  • And last but not least. Start thinking for yourself! A 27-year-old girl got on a plane in England to go to Morocco, when she got there it was locked down now she is desperate to get home. When asked why she went she said: 'Well it never mentioned it on the Internet!
  • JEESH!

Funny Baby
Funny Baby

Phew! Take a breath and......

Keep safe. Think of people older than yourself. As French students said recently, 'we need our social life, it doesn't affect us!' Selfish little beep......!

Just remember these wise words that popped up last night;

'Don't forget contraceptives when you are binge buying. I would hate to see you produce another generation of Idiots!'

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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