Top 3 Reasons Why We Need Open Carry
What Is Open Carry?
There's a lot of debate going on right now about open carry laws in America. For those who don't know, open carry laws are the laws that allow citizens to openly carry weapons such as hand guns, rifles, shotguns, swords, missile launchers, torpedos, David Bowie knives, and grenade launchers.
Some of the common anti-weapon arguments are:
- They're dangerous and people shouldn't have them
- Too many accidental shootings
- Too many homicides
- Too many suicides
Some of the common pro-weapon arguments are:
- How am I going to protect myself from the other dangerous people with weapons?
- How am I going to stop someone from stealing this thing I bought?
- Criminals are going to get them anyway so they might as well be legal (also usable for anything that's illegal, such as drugs, rape, murder, speeding, etc)
- I need this handgun to be able to defend myself against an oppressive government that already has tanks, heavy artillery, and weapons of mass destruction.
As you can see, the pro-weapon arguments are clearly superior to the anti-weapon arguments. However, this article isn't about whether or not you should be pro or anti weaponry. This article is about open carry.
Arguments against open carry:
- It's really freaking scary to see some white dude walk into Target with a semi-automatic rifle strapped to his back. How am I supposed to know if he's going to shoot up the place or not?
Arguments for open carry:
- It's really freaking scary to see some other white dude walk into Target with a semi-automatic rifle strapped to his back, too. How am I supposed to know if he's going to shoot up the place or not?
Again, arguments for open carry are far more solid than the arguments against. But, I want to show you my top three reasons for why I want to be allowed to carry guns in public.
1. How Can We Progress To A Cyberpunk Future?
We've all seen cyberpunk movies, games, cartoons, and books. They're everywhere. Here are some great ones:
- Blade Runner
- Batman Beyond
But did you know that they all have something in common? The average citizen carries (and evidently uses) guns! Everyone needs them because there are so many bad guys with guns that the average citizen needs them to defend themselves. That's where our world is headed, which is super cool. Imagine how exciting live is going to be when we have to defend ourselves all the time because everyone has guns. With open carry, that is the world we get to live in. I'm super excited for it.
Please Take This Poll
Do You Believe In Open Carry?
2. How Can I Be A Space Cowboy?
Holy crap would it be awesome to be a space cowboy. Do you know what that is? It's a cowboy in space. We're getting pretty close to having some really cool space travel technology, and I'm a young dude, so it's important to me that when we get this technology to explore the new (final) frontier, I get to be a space cowboy.
I could see myself growing space crops on Mars.
Herding celestial bovine on Neptune.
But here's the thing: when you picture an old western cowboy what does he have?
- A cool hat
So it's pretty important that we allow open carry to be legal in America so that when we start exploring space we already have guns on our hips, and know how to use them.
See you, space cowboy.
3. How Can I Be A Scruffy Lookin' Nerf Herder?
Alright so there's this guy Han Solo, who, while in space, is scruffy looking and herds nerfs. What's a nerf? That's irrelevant. What is relevant is his gun (pictured below). It's really important that after the cyberpunk future, and after we're space cowboys, we find other employment. Such as smuggling.
So we're smuggling spice and the oppressive galactic government known as The Empire wants to stop us because they're fascist pigs who are stepping on my rights and my freedom. Now, I'm an American so I believe in rights and freedumb so I should be free to use and transport an sell (that's Capitalism, y'all) spice anytime anywhere. But The Empire is trying to stop me. They want to regulate and tax it. What is that? Taxing is lame. That takes money out of the hard working people's hands and gives it to the big government to spend on stupid stuff like welfare and healthcare. Why do people who get paid less than livable wages deserve to get anything for free when I'm just out busting my butt?
So that's why we should have guns. So we can shoot the oppressive socialist government that's taking the hard working man's money and giving it to lazy freeloaders who just happen to get paid less.
Who Thinks Guns Are Cool?
Thinks Guns Are Cool
Doesn't Think Guns Are Cool
Hasn't Decided Yet
My cat Mittens
Your conservative uncle
Dang hippy liberals
A dog I saw out front
Guns are cool and I look cool holding one so I think it's important that we be allowed to carry them and show them off to the world.
Extra point: what rhymes with fun? Gun.