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Transformational Gravity in Gender and Climate: A Satire

Updated on June 14, 2017
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Can a writer write without sometimes engaging in SATIRE? Sometimes the best way to refute the ridiculous is simply to mock it.



It's Satire

The following piece is inspired by the site, Communications from Elsewhere, which mocks the bloviating drivel produced by many academics and activists, especially of the victimhood genre.

The ridiculous language should make it clear that this piece is sheer nonsense. Its insane thesis that lowering the breath rate of human beings can assist with climate change, as well as offer shelter to those with gender identity dysphoria should be realized as ludicrous on its face.

A government mandate to require people to breathe less! Right! That will work!


Introduction: A Gorean Blue Print for Longevity and Breathlessness

The primary focus of the writings of Alger Gore and Smothers Blane is on the role of heat in the scattered proximity of each country affected by the economical withdrawal theory. The subject is trivialized into a discourse of shame and blame that Gore has deconstructed down into a melange of conformity that prohibits pity and empathy.

In every sense of term, the nesting theme of Polar Bears and lathered windmills raises the analysis of materialism to the level of absurdity above and beyond the Mikel Mannian Hockey Stick manifestation. Theory that dumps theory upon statistical analysis deconstructs itself into prehistoric determination.

According to Gore, "We must change the pattern of exhaling CO2, for the good of existence itself." Gore suggests that humanity employ the use of post-structural Marxism to transform the hierarchy, as well as the prevailing patriarchy. He suggests that in a Marxist-driven society each citizen will cut in half her/his out-put of CO2 with each exhale, due to less nutritional intake being available. Patriarchal norms will be obliterated by low energy balances and inharmonious vistas that blind male power.

Igor Mann employs the term Fascist power to unveil differences between earth tremors and erectile dysfunctional latitudes. Therefore, as the Gorean knot unravels, the modernistic and pseudo-cyclical pedigree of both males and females will rest on the sliding scale of temperature and breath rate.

The new age scientists—estimated at 97% to 99%—of earth and wind studies all hold that we have been given a choice between subsaharan prepubescence or Nordic blast dislocation. It may also be asserted that the primary focus of the Gorean political stance is less powerful than the Mannian oblivion theory even as it assumes itself in self-fulfilling prophecy.

Gore’s essay in his simian tome, Earth Life Off Balance, on capitalism and mainstream popular subculture asserts that equatorial gravity may have become as irrelevant as post-coital ingestion of smoke and dream turbulence, given that the response to millennial gravity remains invalid.

Therefore, the main theme of the works of Gore and Blane still offer the ground work needed for Mann and his ilk to perform their insular research without constant rehearsal from both conservatives and liberals of the political sphere.

Most of the earth scientists, between 97% and 99%, concur that the narratives blockading poststructural Marxism have always existed. Therefore, the main theme of the climate models that exist in a vacuum cannot suffice to limit or deflect the patriarchal hierarchy until each citizen of every nation on the earth has limited his/her output of CO2 to one-quarter of its present volume.

Sources knowledgable in the research of 97% of the scientists who have reported have claimed that Socrates in 400 BEC and Thales of Miletus about a century earlier both understood the dire need of cutting CO2 from the exhaling breaths of each citizen.

Greenhouse Gasses and a New Gender Paradigm

Each scientist who has examined Gorean polemicist narrative has been faced with the same issue: either limit number of breath per minute, likely by governmental mandate, or conclude that the continued output will conspire to the eventuality that will marginalize the protected races, classes, and genders.

If continued output of breaths holds, world citizens will have to choose between a harried, pitiless, but conformation existence and a conspiratorial, nativist yet post-cultural death. Knowing that sexuality exists as a postmodern reality, most scientist are now suggesting—nay insisting— that governmental totalitarian mandates no longer be considered experimental but instead immediately experiential.

The characteristic issue traced in the books and speeches of Gore and Blane is not, per se, dystopian, but rather newly generated dystopian. A number of expletives circulating in the outsourcing of the Democratic Party is likely to be discovered and increased as tension over polyglotism and sexual manumission penetrate the psyche of such congressional progenitors as Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi. The latter of whom even surrogates are tripping the switch and imposing the thought that terms limits might well answer many a question posed by senility and destructive, misplaced names and locations.

A limit of five breaths per hour has been suggested by a number of scientists who would court favor of government even though they have not secured the proper features that their lobbying brethren had once been adjudicated as they once testified in the halls of congress.

In a sense, the primary theme of Gore's most intense essay on climatic cultural theory cannot be considered hierarchical patriarchalism but rather newly produced hierarchical and disproportionally patriarchal insurgency. Gore, Jr.'s Delusional Spectrum Party theory is clearly not the spectrum of Gore, Sr.'s DSP. The racial component of deconstruction began as the Neo-Patricians ran the gamut of off-setting slave institutions as the fathers of pseudo-democracy inched ever closer to total enslavement of both black and white citizens, not the mention the toll that theory took on gender issues.

Many subliminal waves of hierarchical patriarchy still exist, of course. However, as the subject shifts to temperature and breathing, the 97% in agreement will continue to find ways to circumvent the pressure to admit that thermometers do not lie, but that they can be manipulated to appear to demonstrate a paradigm of scientific consensus, even when that consensus is as fabricated as the false claim that 97% of the scientists agree to such a consensus.

Blane furthermore has also stated that nations will, indeed, have to choose between a harried, pitiless, but conformational existence and a conspiratorial, nativist yet post-structural death. Therefore, the number of theories will necessarily continue to proliferated as Mann employs the term Hockey Stick to denote not, in fact, a hockey stick, but the manipulation, almost a masturbatory rendering, of the main theme in the books and speeches of Gore, who will also continue to tout the low energy, low breath rate that will, in fact, save the planet.

Low Breath Rate and Gender Identity

Low breath rate and gender identity will become synonymous and part of the dominant culture, according to retired climatologist Phil Jones. However, according to other sources close to Jones, it may not be so much sexual identity as the low breath rate that impacts the climate ad infinitum.

That part of national culture, that is, the defining characteristic, of every culture must give a proper ceiling to sexual identity. The issue as interpreted by climate, weather, storm, and wind velocity will correspond to the Marxist division of race and gender so long as each breath contains a high concentration of CO2.

While many variables will always intrude into each scientific experiment, the challenge for society will remain the number of breaths that must be lowered. The subject of government mandate will remain a postmodern narrative and therefore include all the art forms as a reality. As Derrick Sanderson has suggested in numerous treatises, the use of the debreathing function will also be employed to attack sexism and disintegrate the hierarchical patriarchy.

No one can deny the impact of Marxist philology on feminism, masculinist theory, and neuter gender dysfunction, and Gore's insistence of streaming that philology into the climate debate will continue to offer platitudes that the opposition will employ at times successfully and yet often without much notice from the junk-scientists who gamble on continually treating breath rates, knowing that CO2 rates exist in every special feature of simian art and as well as science.


Breathing: Fighting Gravity

© 2017 Linda Sue Grimes


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