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Two Kids, Two Different Dads

Updated on June 11, 2014
My Kids
My Kids

My Story

I am a 24 (almost 25) year old woman. I have a full time job with benefits where I have worked for over 6 years now. I am married to my soulmate. I have 2 wonderful and adorable children, ages 6 and almost 3. My daughter has brown hair and brown eyes and my son has blonde hair and blue eyes. 2 opposites in appearance but the one thing that they have in common is their face. It's my face. They have the same facial shape as I do. The other characteristics (other than my daughters ears, she got from me) they have are from their fathers. Yes, I said it right, fatherS. My children have different dads. What's wrong with that?

Well, to me, nothing is wrong with our lives. My ex and I were never married and I got pregnant in High School senior year. I was 18 years old when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and thought we were in love. Well, we weren't in love and we got a daughter out of it. We have dealt with eachother's relationships and my daughter, also went to court and got custody ordered so that we have some stability in our lives. Those months were a bit rough as we weren't seeing eye to eye but we got through it and we are better after the fact.

My daughter currently has many families, she has my parents side, my husband's parents side, her father's parents side, and her father's fiance's parents side along with all the cousins, aunts, and uncles. (She does great at Christmas, let me tell you!)

But still people sometimes slip when I have two different fathers for my children. I had my son almost 4 years after my daughter. That's alot of time in between. I wasn't rushing all over the place with my pants down getting pregnant every ten months. But the way they see it you would think I did.I made a mistake, or whatever you want to call it the first time, but IF I hadn't my daughter would not be here. I don't make regrets, my life wouldn't be the way it is if I hadn't made past decisions.

You don't need to know their situation. It's none of your business. If you haven't walked in their shoes, you don't know what they have been through.

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    • stestifie profile image
      Author

      Stephanie Pyper 3 years ago from Sin City

      Hi Realsis,

      Thank you for your story. It's really unfortunate that others can look down their noses at people when the story isn't laid out before them. People who are brave enough to step out and take their kids out of situations like that instead of laying in wait for the next bad thing to happen, that's not right. But if you don't know that person, how can you tell? You can't. People need to start minding their own business. Judging doesn't help anyone, everyone can be judged for any little thing. I don't understand how people can find the time. Good on you Realsis for knowing what to do in the face of confusion and hurt. No matter what other people think of us, we just have to push through.

    • profile image

      realsis 3 years ago

      I definitely know how and what you go through. My son and daughter have a SEVEN year age difference. They also have different fathers. I was 23 years old when i had my daughter and 30 with my son. Seven years is quite a span but still i got the comments from people. I did try my best but the relationship wasnt healthy so it got disloved. But i got a wonderful daughter out of it. The relationship with my sons father ended as well. In fact he has not seen my son since he was seven years old ( my sons 16 now) 9 years ago. I am remarried and get looked down upon all the time because my children have 2 different fathers (i was married to both) and now im on my 3rd marriage. I was not as fortunate as some people to have my marriages work out. Both were truly toxic. It would not have benefited my children in any way to have stayed in either toxic situation. The first was a alcoholic and physically abused me. (Even while pregnant ) my second was drug addicted and i did not find out until much later. He was manuplative and angry and explosive. I truly believe God wouldnt want a person to stay in either unhealthy situation. Im very fortunate now to be married to a clean and sober man who is not abusive. But when people look at me, all they see is two different fathers and three marriages. We should no judge people until we ourselves have walked in their shoes. Its not like when i was young i dreamed of two failed marriages. But life happens and we all do the best we can. By the way, my children are blessings in my life and i thank God they were born. Those situations dont matter any more. What matters are my two beautiful children whom i love dearly. So people out there, before you judge someone just STOP. You do NOT know their situations. They are doing the best they can. I wouldnt change what ive been through for a second because two beautiful children came out of those situations and they bless my life on a daily basis. Thank you for your story and thanks for reading mine.

    • Anaydena profile image

      Mia Taylor 6 years ago from Euless, TX, USA

      I am 25 years old with three beautiful children, but they are all by my husband. My best friend has 2 kids with 2 baby fathers and I believe you shouldn't judge someone based on that because you don't know what they've been through. My best friend is with her second child's father, who is verbally abusing her, but she doesn't want to leave him because she's scared nobody will want her because she's got 2 kids by 2 different guys smh I keep telling her it don't matter, I'm sharing this with her and voting up! Good one!

    • stestifie profile image
      Author

      Stephanie Pyper 6 years ago from Sin City

      Oh wow! I can't believe some people. I wrote this hub after someone at work said something along the lines of, well you have two kids with different people. I was waaaay pissed when she said that. I'm glad I got my frustration out with this hub. It needed to be said really. Don't Judge! I just got married in January so I know how you feel. Thank you for commenting your comment made me feel better. =)

    • PaulaHenry1 profile image

      PaulaHenry1 6 years ago from America

      I agree with you and be proud of who you are and the love you obviously have for your children (they are precious by the way!

      My daughters are 3 and 13, yes 13! 10 years different and I still get the "eye"- I have never been married so I guess that gives them a bit more ammo but still- no one has a right to judge...

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