Verbal Mistakes Made by Criminals Who Are Being Arrested by The Police
Vintage police work
Vintage motorcycle cop
It's our fault
I hate the fact that we need police officers. I really do. But since we are a by-product of fallen mankind, Adam and Eve, I shouldn’t bellyache.
Police officers like firemen (and women) are severely-needed every day of the year and on all of the holidays. You know it. I know it. And to make this picture more-faded and torn on the edges, these people, the officers of the court, and firemen (and women too), are very unappreciated, under-paid, overly-abused, and really taken for granted.
Think for a moment. We see them around town in their cruisers, on horseback, and on foot, and seldom do we acknowledge their presence—except when trouble tracks us down. Then they are the most-appreciated people on two feet.
Police staving-off a violent riot
Thank you to all police officers and firefighters
I loathe myself many times for how I go about my life without taking the time to say, “thank you,” to our police officers who lay their lives on the line for us each time they don the badge and uniform. And many have already given their priceless lives for some scum who is holding an innocent child hostage and blames the world for his drug and alcohol addiction. Somehow, a police officer giving his life to save the innocent children and adults, should be noted by President Obama with an award or a special appreciation service.
These men and women in blue are well worth it. Not to mention our brave firefighters, who are always fighting fires, saving lives as if it were “just another day at the office.”
Although all of this is true, and heart-felt, I have to be true to my clownish-nature and have a little fun because even the police officers and firefighters need a laugh also.
"To protect and serve"
The following is a carefully-composed list of . . .
“Verbal Mistakes Made By Criminals Being Arrested by The Police”
"Officer, what's the password to this stolen laptop?"
"You're goin' downtown!"
- “Whattaya mean ‘freeze,’ copper? It’s over a hundred in this sewer!”
- “Mr. Policeman, that wasn’t me you seen in the furniture store last night. I was busy busting into the ice cream shop on Fifth and Vine. Uh, oh! Do I need a lawyer?”
- “You cannot put the ‘cuffs on me for I am allergic to metal.”
- “Sir, before you take me to jail, can you go by my mom’s house so I can kiss her goodbye?”
- “Hey, that white powder in my shirt pocket was only laundry powder!”
- “Sir, you said I was harassing that pretty girl, so is that illegal?”
- “You mean I cannot place a few bets for my friends, although I am not a gambler?”
- “If you weren’t wearing that billy-club and gun, I would be your butt!”
- “Officer, no need to get upset. I just squealed like a pig when you said I was under arrest.”
- “I want to see you prove in a court of law that I was the one who fired “this” gun.”
- “What are these expensive watches doing in my coat pocket? I was going to give them as gifts to my family for Christmas gifts.”
- “I only ran from you, officer, for I have a phobia about the color blue.”
- “Uhhh, where are my pants and underwear? Uhh, you see, officer, I got this severe itch while I was doing some missionary work in the Amazon jungle.”
- “You can’t arrest me, sir. I only helped my brother, Ray, rob that bank five years ago.”
- “That eye-witness was telling a lie. I grew this full-beard this morning.”
And now you have the right to laugh and roll around in the floor for this piece being so funny. Nothing you say in a complimentary form will be held against you.