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Vote !!!

Updated on December 16, 2013

Who me?

Yes you. If you are registered, then being:

  • hungry
  • naked with nothing to wear
  • homeless
  • sick or injured
  • in school
  • at work pulling a triple shift
  • mad at all the candidates
  • too busy having fun (playing a video game, sports, whatever)
  • interested in something is on TV
  • tired and needing to catch up on sleep
  • stuck babysitting
  • in a disaster zone


  • hungry -- There are soup lines and bread lines. Guess which party will cut these programs?
  • naked with nothing to wear -- Then go naked if you are a nudist or naturist. Otherwise, take a shower and wear whatever you have that is least dirty. This is not a fashion show anyway. You can wear jeans or sweats or your work clothes or something comfortable since you will be standing in line to vote. You need to think less about what to wear and more about what to bring: registration card, other ID and documentation
  • homeless -- There are shelters and there is Habitat for Humanity that will build you a house. Guess which party will cut these programs?
  • sick or injured -- Let the party of your choice know. Call them up and I guarantee some party will find a way to help you vote.
  • in school -- Every college and university has programs to assist students who want to vote and need help.
  • at work pulling a triple shift -- One party will help you get around this problem and the other party will jump for joy at the thought that you may not get to the polls. I don't want to take sides on this hub since I am providing voting information but let the party of your choice know about this problem and see which party jumps to help you vote and get around the obstacles.
  • mad at all the candidates -- Then vote for a third party. Or write in the person of your choice. It is perfectly legal to vote third party or write-in. There are political parties other than Republicans and Democrats. Also there are referenda, initiatives, propositions, and Constitutional amendments also on the ballot. Get informed and vote on these issues.
  • too busy having fun (playing a video game, sports, whatever) -- Put down the game and vote.
  • interested in something is on TV -- Don't make me put my foot up you. I wear high heels.
  • tired and needing to catch up on sleep -- Sleep while you are waiting in line. Bring a wheelchair and go with friends who will push your chair while you sleep.
  • stuck babysitting -- contact everyone you know in the same situation and work something out, take turns, or if all else fails, take the children to the polls with you
  • in a disaster zone -- Find out how to vote from local, county, state or federal disaster officials. Remember, if the wrong person wins, you will get NO DISASTER ASSISTANCE. Got it? Vote no matter what you have to do.

What to bring?

  • voters registration card
  • driver's license
  • other documentation (US Passport, utility bill, credit cards with photo, student ID, senior ID, etc.)
  • umbrella
  • raincoat
  • the local newspaper to read (make sure that it is the Election Edition)
  • fold-up chair
  • sleeping bag
  • tent
  • blanket
  • prescription if you are on meds
  • your reading glasses or contact lenses !!! (because there will be a lot to read)

You have stood in line for movies and sports events so you know the drill. There are ways to deal with long lines and queues.

  • use the restroom before you leave home
  • dehydation
  • adult pampers
  • pilot's bladder
  • call ahead and find out if there are restrooms at the polling place or porta-potties outside

You also know your town and your fellow citizens. Will they let you place hold in line while you run to use the restroom? Or will they punch you in the mouth and you lose your place in line? Assume that you will lose your place in line and so go to the back of the line if you have to leave it. If you start a fight, you might get arrested and then you won't vote at all. Be on your best behavior and your best manners. Be nice. Time your arrival at the poll for slow times. Most experienced poll workers can tell you the slow times. It is generally in the first half of the day.

When do I vote?

If you have not voted early, vote no later than Tuesday November 6th.

Where do I vote? There has been redistricting.

Find out today, don't wait until Election Day and then go to the wrong polling place. I guarantee (or your money back) that you will be angry as hell if you go to the wrong polling place just before closing time and they turn you away because (in your mind) you might be voting for the wrong guy. They have no idea who you will be voting for because our system of voting is deeply flawed but mind-reading is not one of those flaws. Yet anyway. Which is a good reason to keep sociopaths out of office and away from control of the CIA and NSA.

The following can tell you where to vote:

  • local voting board -- all voting is controlled locally not federally and this is the ultimate authority however; the following supplemental sources can validate that they are not lying to you
  • the political party you belong to -- call them now because their phone will be jammed on Election Day
  • reference librarian at your local public library branch
  • the local newspaper

I am in a disaster zone. Where do I vote?

For New York City:

Don't Freak, This Is an Early Voting Map

I belong to the other party in a red/blue state. Why should I vote?

Well, one party doesn't want you to vote anyway. Period.

So you should vote for the other party despite electoral realities. If enough people think like you, then you might give the opinion polls a shock and turn your state from one color (red or blue) to the other color. Also, if you are a member of a third party, then you could get a third party candidate into local office. Maybe even state office or Congress.

I heard a person in a certain color state on the radio moan about her vote being non-consequential but she was voting anyway because:

  1. miracles do happen on rare occasion
  2. there are other candidates on the ballot
  3. there are initiatives, referendums, propositions, and amendments on the ballot that affect her regardless of the candidates
  4. more and more often these days, precincts and elections are decided by one vote
  5. some people have given up on hope, we call such people helpless and hopeless and any psychologist can tell you what happens when someone gives up hope. They die.

Be depressed some other time. Vote !!!

How do I prepare to vote?

  • Read the Election Edition of the local newspaper or newspapers.
  • Find a sample ballot to practice on.
  • Relax. This is not a test. There are no wrong answers. So relax.
  • That said, pick a sociopath and your and your family could pay for that bad decision for generations.
  • Put your civil rights lawyer on speed dial
  • Complete your research of issues. Remember that elections are not just about candidates. They are also about propositions, initiatives, referenda and amendments to the Constitution.

No transportation. How do I get to the poll?

If you belong to a political party, then ask for their help. If not . . .

  • Ask family
  • Ask friends
  • Ask neighbors
  • Ask co-workers
  • Ask your college or university dean or student affairs director
  • Ask acquaintances on your sports team
  • Ask everyone at the retirement village or assisted living facility where you live
  • Ask the head nurse or patient relations director at the hospital where you are admitted
  • Ask the charities that you depend on if you are homeless but a registered voter. Do it now because they will need time to help you cast a provisional or absentee or some other special type of ballot. If you are homeless, then you HAVE to vote or the homeless will not be represented.
  • Hitch hike. Be polite, thank the motorist who gives you a lift, and keep your pepper spray in your pocket out of sight.
  • If all else fails, walk or roll your wheelchair or crawl.

"There is voter intimidation here. How can I vote?"

  1. Ignore the threatening outdoor billboards. Those are placed in minority neighbourhoods and are almost illegal themselves. Write down the name of the advertising company so that tomorrow you can follow the money back to the Republican or super-PAC responsible for this racism. But today go vote. If you have the proper ID, then it is illegal to prevent you from voting.
  2. Ignore the threatening TV commercials. Video record the TV commercial so that tomorrow you can blow up the image and see the fine print and slow down the audio at the end of the commercial to transcribe what is said. Under Freedom of Information and other disclosure laws that TV stations have to obey, you can follow the money back to the Republican or super-PAC responsible for this racism. But today go vote. If you have the proper ID, then it is illegal to prevent you from voting.
  3. Prior convictions and trafffic tickets and unpaid taxes and blah blah blah are just attempts by racists to discourage you from voting. Go vote today. There are lawyers who will take your case for free if someone tries to stop you from voting.
  4. If you expect trouble at the poll itself and if carrying concealed weapons or carrying unconcealed weapons is legal in your town or county or state; then bring your weapon with you to the poll. If.
  5. If they have a habit of bring video cameras in an attempt to discourage voting, then complain to a judge in order to get a restraining order and then go vote. Complain to the police or sheriff or state police (whichever one you trust). Complain to a civil rights organization such as the local chapter of the NAACP or the ACLU.
  6. If you are a poor white person in a company town and fear being fired, then notify your local union so that they can contact the US Secretary of Labor and the AFL-CIO or other national union. If you are non-union, then go to anyone who will fight for you. The other political party, a lawyer, a judge, a D.A. or prosecutor, the news media (not FOX, they don't care about people), or anyone you trust. Don't let the fact that you are white discourage you from turning to the NAACP or some other black civil rights group if that is the only place you can turn. Trust me, they work for white people too on occasion. Reverend Al Sharpton of the National Action Network will respond to poor white people as well as poor black people and poor people of other ethnic groups. But today, go in a group to vote. Deal with any flack from your boss tomorrow. Send me a message if the SOB punishes you for voting. He doesn't know how you cast your vote and if your precinct goes for a candidate he is against and he starts layoffs, then send me an email. I'll make him pay.
  7. Bring your camera phone and Skype a live feed to ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS news of intimidators. Intimidate the intimidators. But vote today.

This man was assassinated working for voter rights.

What's your excuse for not voting?  Get off your ass and vote !!!
What's your excuse for not voting? Get off your ass and vote !!!

Although MLK had the support of LBJ . . .

. . . some say that J. Edgar Hoover was behind the assassinations

of JFK, RFK and MLK.
of JFK, RFK and MLK.

So what is the lesson?


That is the lesson.

Don't mark outside the oval.

Remember standardized tests?
Remember standardized tests?

Search Your Local or State Government's Web Site for a Sample Ballot

OMG the ballot is longer than a book! How do I fill it out?

  1. Relax
  2. If you read this hub, then you prepared and read up on the issues and already know how you are going to vote on the initiatives, referendums, propositions and amendments. Likewise the candidates.
  3. Whether you race through the ballot or take your time, when you get to the end, go back and make sure you marked correctly and did not skip over some items or offices. You are allowed to asked for help and poll workers are trained to be discreet. Don't give any counter (human or machine) an excuse to throw out your ballot because you marked outside the box or are hanging chads or some technicality. Remember, they are looking for an excuse to throw out your vote so that the other candidate wins.

They're using electronic machines programmed by the other party. How do I make sure that my vote is not hacked?

  1. Demand a receipt so that the electronic voting machine leaves a paper trail. And if they actually give you a receipt, then lock it up in a wall safe or bank vault.
  2. Computer experts and electronic voting machine experts say that the machines can be physically hacked and the software can be hacked. These machines are all made by people who belong to one party. If no paper trail is possible, then it is reasonable to demand an audit trail. Forensic accountants and forensic programmers are useful for your political party. This reasoning is most useful to the attorney that will represent you when they argue it before a court.
  3. Know the exact numbers of the pre-voting opinion polls and know the exact numbers of the exit polls. If the announced election results vary from this, then scream bloody murder.
  4. Run to the news media and demand that they investigate.
  5. If wrong doing is discovered, then demand that the D.A. prosecutes the vote rigger.
  6. Get others of your political persuasion together and file a court challenge as to why votes in favor of your candidate were not counted.
  7. Document any tampering with technology [detectives investigating the owners and managers of voting technology companies, photo surveillance, depositions, affidavits, audio recordings, computer logs, circuit analysis of firmware, etc.] .
  8. Remember that of all forms of electronic voting, voting by email is the least reliable and the most vulnerable to fraud. Avoid voting by email.
  9. There is no such thing as voting by phone. It is a con.

Seniors Tend to Vote Early No Matter What the Weather

Young people (particularly Democrats) tend to make lame excuses for not voting.  And all reasons for not voting are lame.
Young people (particularly Democrats) tend to make lame excuses for not voting. And all reasons for not voting are lame.

There Is Rumor of One Drop of Rain

I belong to a party that doesn't turn out the vote when it rains. What is wrong with them?

Let's psychoanalyze them some other time. What you should do is:

  1. Find any one who is using rain or snow as an excuse for not voting and don't let them rest until they vote
  2. Kick their butt all the way to the poll
  3. Use a horse whip or bull whip to drive them to the polls. This is called irony since our indentured servant and serf ancestors in Europe were used as beasts of burden.
  4. Shame them. The other party votes regardless of the weather and regardless of their health.


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