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War Stories from the Home Front
Ask ANY parent about war stories and battles and you will find that hindsight is always 20\20. Ask any child , now an adult, about the battles fought and you will get a totally different version of what is recalled.
Parent-child conflict is age old, every generation has them usually the battles and war debris occurs strewn out along the teenage years. It could be 1940, 1950, 1960, 1990. The war zones usually are over personal silly topics when looking back, yet, during the heat of the moment, neither parent or child have a stand or die attitude. The battles flare up at a moment's notice, the parent simply states in a loving moment using a baby-like voice, " But, honey, you are still my baby". The response from the teen or tween is quite the opposite, " I'm not your little baby anymore, knock it off!". Ooops, its a minefield.
What develops or happens during these years are not forgotten, especially if the battle is fought with a tenacity of bloodied sharks over an issue neither will walk away from. even as the teen becomes 30 yrs. old, with their own family, the scars remain in the memory and taints the adult relationship. Almost all families have some scars. You know, taboo subjects neither will bring up unless they are being provoked at family gatherings.
It all depends on the severity of the war. For instance, in the 1965-1975 for sure, many teens fought their parents over long hair (for guys), clothes, music, friends, drugs and dating. Except for the long hair and drugs, this was probably the same for 1950 teens. After 1975, the battle zones were rather the same as they were in 65-76 group, but the parents now, who were accustomed to all those things when they were teens, now had to decide how to handle it. Usually, it was more tolerant, but that does not mean the battles were no less scar forming.
Today, many parents are overly controlling out of fear of this or that, they are called helicopter parents. They hover all over their kids and this alone will drive a teen to rebel and obtain anti-parent weapons like never seen before. The more the parents hover or control their teens, the worse and more defiant the teen is. Technology has made this easier for teens and more concerning for parents who think something bad is happening or being planned. So, the parent takes the cell phone away, the teen could easily get a temporary one. As each side attempts to control and dominate the other one, it simply gets worse until one side does something truly drastic. By this time, the seemingly dumb fight over texting or a friend the parent did not approve of, the scar runs deep and will cast a shadow over the parent-child relationship well into adult life.
Was it worth it?