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We Hope You Have a Miserable Flight With Us Today

Updated on February 11, 2017

Mike's Common Sense

I work for one of the major airlines here in Miami. The good news is I get to fly for free,(provided there is an unused seat available) the bad news is I get treated just like everybody else (crappy).

It seems that the airlines today are trying to get us to forget that you have to pay for checked baggage, overkill security, no snacks, etc. by treating us all like seven year old children.

Flight attendant training now resembles Nazi nun training as evidenced by the way these people patrol the aisles, looking for reasons to berate the passengers. Heaven forbid your seat is inclined 1" during take off or landing, because you will be made to feel as if you are the lowest of low.

I had my earphones on, and plugged into the planes' audio system as we taxied for take off. One FA stopped to yell at me, " all personal electric devices have to be turned off until after take-off!" I had every passenger within ear shot of me looking at me as if I were a felon. I then pointed out to the nice lady, that my headphones were plugged into the armrest and not some offending i-pod. Without a word, she just kept going looking for the next low down perpetrator.

Throughout that whole flight, we had another Nazi nun, er, FA, talking over the planes public address, telling us what was now permissable, and what was not permissable.

I am not a mechanic, but I do know that the shielding for the aircraft's radio system is good enough that every person on board could be operating ten i-pods each, and not effect it. So if that is the case, why the harassment? Could it be that they have nothing better to do?

Like I mentioned, they no longer hand out pillows and blankets, no longer serve meals or snacks, and no longer assist passenger needs. But heaven forbid you HAVE to go to the restroom when the "fasten seat belt" sign is on. You will have every FA on that aircraft tell you to go back to your seat as you walk down the aisle, even if its two hours before landing.

Welcome to the friendly skies!

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    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Amy, I have never heard of the phrase "cat ranchers" but I like it. I will use it on my crew to see how they like it. lol

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Eldritch, thanks for stopping by. One way or another those flight attendants will fund a way to rile you, or make you feel small. It's in their nature.

    • profile image

      Amy G 8 years ago

      lol Eldritch! It's like the nurses in hospitals waking you up at three am to see how you feel... "Don't you think I would hit the morphine clicker if I felt like crap?? Thanks.... now I have to hit the morphine clicker."

      Well, at least they were doting!

    • Eldritch Elegy profile image

      Eldritch Elegy 8 years ago

      I've had the opposite experience, but it was just as annoying... I don't get why they not only felt the need to ask me if I needed anything every five seconds, but also decided to have the guy next to me WAKE ME UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING to ask if I wanted PEANUTS.

      I'm so sorry that the most exciting thing in your life is offering peanuts to people, lady, but I do not share your enthusiasm.

    • profile image

      Amy G 8 years ago

      Great hub. My husband works for an airline out of LA, and they call the FA's "Cat Ranchers" because so many of them fly for 30 years and never settle down... die in an armchair with 14 cats around them... plus they're such bitches sometimes. I can't stand their superiority complex. I swear I hear "meow" everytime they stomp by me now...

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      hi Teresa, I am sorry to say we have more than our fair share of sadists working as flight attendants.

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      hi ajcor, sorry to hear about your bad experience. I love your term "femo nazis" I grew up Catholic and they remind me of nuns.

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      Can't remember which airline it was, but I was once forbidden to go to the restroom by a surly flight attendant. I had to wait for a while, and then ask. I have no idea why, and would have reported her, asked to see a supervisor, whatever -- but I was concentrating on not embarrassing myself. As soon as she left, I got up and went to the loo, of course, but I thought twice about it. No, there was no turbulence and the "return to seat" sign was not on.

    • ajcor profile image

      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      great hub muley - it takes me right back to the trip from hell I endured - britain back to Australia - with my just three year old...thank you British Airways - never travelled since - would make a great hub - thanks for reminding me about these femo nazis....cheers