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What Can You Do When A Loved One Dissapears

Updated on May 19, 2012

one wanted to go, the other one went along

One morning my mom called me and asked me to stop by because she wanted to give me some things she didn't want.  I did, and found that she was packing up her house, with the help of my brother, and was moving.  This rather surprised me, for she had only moved in this place about six or eight months before.

When I asked she said that she didn't get along with a neighbor, they had a teenage boy who was messing around with some of her things, for they shared the back yard.  Besides that, she said that the place was just too small.  My brother had moved in with her for she was going on 75 years old, and lived alone.  It was a good idea, for he also had health issues and they looked out for one another.  I felt good about that.

When I looked around at what they were doing though, something didn't seem right.  When I move, a lot of things go into boxes, but not everything, especially if it is a close move, and she did not even have another place lined up yet.  Then she began telling me that she was going to go on vacation and they were putting everything into storage until they got back in a couple weeks and at that time would look for a place.  That sounded odd to me, for who goes off on a two week road trip when they do not have a home to come back to.  But, my mom is an odd one sometimes, and if I questioned her too much about it she would become defensive and begin telling me lies, as she had many times in the past when she felt I was invading her privacy too much.  I let it go, for my brother was with her and would make sure she was OK.

Both of them seemed to be looking forward to this trip, they were going to just stop wherever they wanted to up and down California coastline, and because Mom was having a hard time adjusting to her husbands death, and not working I thought it would do her good.

Then, just before I was getting ready to leave, she called me into the back room to talk.  I hated this for she tended to overstate everything, repeated herself if she thought I wasn't getting the meaning of her words, and would drag these talks out for hours sometimes.  But, she was leaving so I went back with her and we sat down.  She looked at me funny and and told me that she was getting too old to be the elder of this family anymore, that it meant a lot of problems were brought to her door, and because we are a large family, was just tired of the responsibility of helping those who needed it, or talking to those others who needed it, or buying food, and so on, so she was simply handing the responsibility off to someone, and because I was the oldest, and responsible, she picked me.  This threw me for a loop, for it was the last thing in the world I was expecting.

I could see her point though, and we talked about what was going on with who, and what I was to expect.  The whole thing lasted about fifteen minutes, and we were finished with the discussion.  I visited for a few more minutes and left.  All the way home something was bothering me, something wasn't right, but I could not figure out what it could be.  I would soon find out what it was.

The Vacation

It was only a couple of days, and they were all packed, everything was in storage, the car was ready for their trip, and Mom called me to tell me they were leaving.  I told her to have a good time and to stay in telephone contact with me so I wouldn't worry, especially since they didn't have any specific plans as to where their destinations would be.  She agreed, and they left.

They did not get in touch with me that night, and I figured they probably drove and were tired so I would talk to them the next day.  When I did not hear from them by late afternoon the second day, I called them.  Both of them had their cell phones turned off.  I left a message on both phones, for there wasn't much else I could do.  The third day was the same way, and I text-ed them and again left messages.  Days four five and six were also quiet, with no contact .  I was so angry with myself for not finding out at least what highway they would be on, but I had a feeling Mom wouldn't have told me anyway.  Something was not as it seemed, or what I was told I thought.

One full week after they took off, Mom finally called me.  I was about frantic by this time and didn't understand what was going on.  She told me that they were just wandering around all the little towns in central california, taking in the scenery and the little shops, and the wilderness.  I decided that I had better remain calm with her or she might just get mad and hang up, so I took a deep breathe, and began asking her where they were and what towns they had already been too and what had they done?  Her answers gave me a chill down my back and a sickness in my stomach. 

She said, " Oh we just drove around and saw all the sights, and we had dinner."  I asked her where, what town, and she answered, "I don't remember the name of it, it was so small." 

I answered her back, "Mom, aren't you going to tell me where you are vacationing?  I only want to know so that if you disappear, I know where to begin looking."  She answered me back with,"I would have to look at the map to see the name of the town, and I'm not going to get lost, so don't worry".

I knew she was not telling me the truth, for she always knew where she was.  She was the kind of person that planned things so well they almost weren't any fun sometimes.  When I asked her where they were planning on going tomorrow, she said that they weren't really sure, but maybe would go see the desert.    "The desert, I thought you said you were going up the coastline of California, where in the hell are you?"  and she answered, "Hmmmm, I think we are still in California.  I let you know later, we are leaving, and I call you when we get someplace."  With that she said a quick bye, and I heard a click.

Now I was really concerned.  It didn't even sound like they were in California to me.  My mom was not a good liar, but was certainly good at not giving up information.  This was not at all like her.  I began to cry, for the concern was getting to be overwhelming.

Well, they were supposed to be gone for two, to two and a half weeks, then come back and find a place for rent.  As things went though, I was able to speak to my brother once the whole time, and he was just as evasive as she had been, and he too was completely stupid as to the name of any town, road, highway or anything else that was around them.  I got the same sort of answers from him, and it sounded to me like she was coaching him as to what to say to me.

That vacation started out in the first two weeks of August, 2009.  They still are not back from that vacation.  I can get one or the other of them to answer their phones about once every 3 or 4 months.  I am pretty sure they are out of state and I also know that they somehow ended up with a hunk of cash from somewhere.  My brother did call once to tell me he was "rich".  This brother was the one that I just about raised when we were younger, for my mom could not handle his rebellion and she tended to abuse him.  This is the same brother who moved every time I did, making sure that we did not get too far from each other, and this is the same brother who told me every time he did something he shouldn't have.  We had been inseperable up to this time.  I do not understand what has happened, and I do not understand why they could be doing this.  I thought that they would be back eventually, but so far, nothing.

I have been thinking that maybe they are in a witness protection program or something, but as it turns out, my youngest brother, the one my Mother babied and spoiled our whole childhood, was given their address and he visited once.  They then changed locations again.  This is keeping her from seeing her grandchildren.    I am beginning to wonder if I will ever know the truth.


Submit a Comment

  • ddsurfsca profile imageAUTHOR

    deb douglas 

    7 years ago from Oxnard

    No, they contacted my youngest son for his birthday and told him that they have called me over and over and that I hang up on them, which is not even close to true. As a matter of fact, when I call her number it gets put straight to voicemail and nobody ever returns the call. It was a ploy to not answer his question.

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    was just checking in to see if your family members have resurfaced or contated you as of yet?

  • ddsurfsca profile imageAUTHOR

    deb douglas 

    7 years ago from Oxnard

    I have thought about that, and there really isn't any bad blood that hasn't been there our whole lives. Besides that, my brother and her both haven't told any of the other family members, and we are a large family. There is not a chance that they would punish the whole family for something one person has done.

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    Perhaps, it is time to look within yourself and pull out the painful truth. Could there be something about that relationship you have had with her which you now can see has led to her actions? Has there been just enough bad blood that she thought this was a way to handle it all?

  • ddsurfsca profile imageAUTHOR

    deb douglas 

    7 years ago from Oxnard

    Thanks all of you for your concern and ideas. It wasn't the lottery, I got that much out of him, it was more like illegal money, but I cannot go into it further. I cannot help but to think that she just wanted out from under the burden of the big family and their problems, but who knows.

  • Genna East profile image

    Genna East 

    7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

    Compelling hub. I hope the mystery is solved soon. Thoughts and prayers!

  • JY3502 profile image

    John Young 

    7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

    The "Rich" thing sounds like they may have hit the lottery

  • Barbara Kay profile image

    Barbara Badder 

    7 years ago from USA

    This is an unusual story. I will pray for you too that you find them and find out what is going on. It does sound like a witness protection program or why else would they do this.

  • Bail Up ! profile image

    Bail Up ! 

    7 years ago

    Thats pretty disturbing but they are both adults. No foul play seems to be involved but for your peace of mind maybe you could hire a P.I. in your area to trace ping their cell phones. It wont give you an exact adress but the general location they are in.

  • carrie450 profile image


    7 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

    OMG, this is a mystery ddsurfsca. I hope you can get this all figured out one day. I can imagine the worry you must be going through, God bless you.


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