What Makes A Liberal And How To Know If You Are One
What Makes a Liberal??
Volumes of research have gone into what makes someone a liberal. Truth is, after all of that research, no one really knows. No one knows what causes someone to become a liberal. Maybe the parents are to blame, or maybe it's the school system, or even popular music and the movie industry are really to blame. Those are the things liberals like to blame, after all.
Whoever is really to blame, something needs to be done about this terrible problem. The first step to solving the problem, is to admit that you have a problem in the first place.
Do you think you might be a liberal? Are you confused as to what a liberal is? Don't worry. Take the following test, calculate your score, and see where you fit. If you find out that you are a liberal, advice for overcoming this problem will also be included.
Some Funny Anti-Liberal Pics
The Liberal Test
So, you are questioning if you are, in fact, a liberal. That's perfectly fine. We all go through times in our life where we question where we fit in, or we see some strange new disorder and think, I think I might have that... So, I have devised an easy online test, that anyone can take in just a few minutes to determine if they are indeed a liberal or not. Steps for calculating your score can be found after the questions. Keep track of your answers, and tally up the results.
Do you feel the beliefs (or lack of beliefs) of a small number are more worthy of protecting than the beliefs of the majority of the population?
Do you feel that the rights of animals are more important than the rights of people?
Do you spout off your thoughts and opinions to anyone who will listen, and sometimes to people who don't want to hear it?
Do you refuse to admit when you are wrong, and even when faced with evidence that you are wrong, still cling to your opinions?
Are you a celebrity with the IQ of a toaster?
Are you a fan of either The View, MSNBC, or Rosie O'Donnell?
Do you feel that everyone owes you something, or that you should be given something for nothing?
Tallying Up Your Score
If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you are, indeed, a liberal. The number of questions you answered 'yes' to indicates to what degree you are a liberal. The fewer 'yes' answers you gave, the more moderate you are. The more 'yes' answers you have, the more extreme, or left-wing, you are.
If you answered yes to all the questions, you are a left-wing nut, and should be locked away for your the protection of yourself, and those around you. Society is not safe from you until you are taken care of. You may be prone to undressing for PETA, or even agreeing with Chris Matthews on a regular basis.
If you answered 'yes' to two or fewer questions, rest assured, you are safe, and you are not a liberal, though you may need to be aware that you do have some liberal tendencies, and may want to look into ways to protect yourself from further leftist leanings. I suggest some spiritual guidance, or renting some old movies.
If you answered 'no' to all of the questions, you are not a liberal, and should have no problem avoiding the stigma of becoming one. You should be proud of yourself!! Good for you!!
If you chose the third option for any of these questions, you might actually be a liberal. Either that, or you recognize this Hub for what it is; a silly joke, and not to be taken seriously. If the first is true, please, seek help! If the second is true, thank goodness someone out there has a sense of humor!
If You Have Found Out That You Are A Liberal
How did you do? If you found out that you are a liberal, you may be concerned, and rightfully so. You may be unsure of what to do at this point. What kind of life could you possibly have? How can you face your friends? What will your family think? I am sure there are a lot of questions running through your head right now.
I can't answer all of them. I am sorry. I can guide you in the right direction. Rent some old movies, you know, the ones where family values actually meant something. Eat a hamburger (they are not bad for you, as long as you don't scarf down 20 of them a day). Go to church! Pay your taxes (I know this may seem kind of scary, but it's kind of the law, despite what some recent Cabinet appointees seem to think). Spend time with your family, instead of at an Occupy protest or Burning Man.
These are just some simple things you can do to curb your liberal tendencies. If this fails, seek the help of a professional. They may be able to guide you to a support group, twelve step program, or individual therapy that might help you out.
© 2009 Anna Marie Bowman