Do you talk about social inequalities with your children? Why or why not?
Be whomever you dream to be!!!
I am so thrilled to have an opportunity to answer a question on this topic. For many years I have been frustrated with listening to the things people would say to their children about their cultural heritage or color specifically.
It has always been my belief that if the negative seed is planted, it too shall grow, but not into the pure and precious flower it could have become without the negative influences.
I had a classmate and friend of many years from high school who constantly reminded her children of their race by calling them inappropriate names and would utter improper, inaccurate comments to them about how insignificant the world would view them.
Well guess what! Those children are now struggling daily to find a positive direction and hear those harsh words uttered in their minds daily (even though their mother is now dead due to a drug overdose). They struggle with the ability to believe they have a right to excel since, in their minds, the rest of the world is against them. That is simply because of what they were told about their own race and what others would perceive them to be due in part to their mother's mental stand. She had the inability to believe she or they could be anything they wanted to be.
I witnessed the negative poisoning that her own mother imparted upon her when we were teenagers. Her mother pointed at me once telling my friend that she would never have the same opportunities as me since we were not the same race. It broke my heart and I tried throughout our entire friendship to undo that belief, but alas, she had been told it her whole childhood and throughout her life by her own mother who really must have had that unequal hate in her heart and mind.
My friend was intelligent in more ways than me, yet she felt stifled and destine to live a life as an underachiever. The horrible things her mother infused her with were often regurgitated out of her mouth and aimed at her children and used as an excuse for the failures she actively destroyed herself with. It was so painful and horrible to witness and accept that she really believed that junk!!!
My friend valued the ones who kept her down and would never try to break away into her own greatness. She pushed the positive influences out of her live and later turned on me because I was not black. I had to walk away for my own well-being. She could have really been a positive influence in her children's lives, if had she not been busy schooling them on the Social Inequality Theory that she was so wrongly taught by her parents and family that ultimately brought her demise. I blame that on her untimely, premature death by drug overdose.
We live in a land of TOTAL opportunity and if you don't find that to be true where you live then it might be best to look inside of your mind to see what kinds of conditioning you grew up with and try to change your self-perception. If it is a fact that you are in an area that doesn't allow your own growth and dreams to foster, then do research and MOVE to the right climate that would allow you to thrive and develop into the person you desire to become and share that with your children.
Under NO circumstances do I feel it appropriate to shatter the dreams and visions of a child simply because someone else gave you values of judgment that only defined wrong/right, good/bad, rich/poor, gifted/repressed or anything similar. It is best to be real with your children about their TRUE talents without inflaming them and allow them to define their dreams while looking past any forms of inequality that may or may not exist in others.
We must all feel proud of who WE are and NOT be defined by someone else or opinions and theories that have crippled so many people because they are constantly told not to try or reminded they are not expected to amount to anything and to just settle for falling into line somewhere or accepting a stereotype of ugly debilitating judgment.
You have permission to be anyone you want to be and the right to live your dreams in this country. That is what children believe until someone ruins their beliefs or plants an unproductive seed in their mind.