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When Is A Cupcake Not A Cupcake?
Better Wipe That Smile Off Your Cupcake
From The Desk Of The Absurd
First of all, Merry Christmas to one and all on this most holy of days and peace on earth and good will toward men. The question at hand is when is a cupcake not a cupcake and suddenly it is a weapon of terrorism? Two separate things about the TSA caught my attention yesterday about this agency and the continued deterioration of our civil liberties. The first was the possibility of Congress providing additional funding so the TSA can increase their VIPR teams by 12 to the existing number of 25. These VIPR teams have nothing to do with airport security by the way. Their function is to man checkpoints on highways, in bus and train terminals, sporting events and some have even been observed at high school prom nights.
So the agency wants an additional $24 million in addition to the $110 million allocated for this sort of nonsense that was funded in 2011. Heap that on top of the $5 billion that the rent-a-cops get to spend harassing the traveling public and airports and you should get a good snapshot of the TSA. So lets just add more? Are we gravitating toward a police state. Before they even allocate one skinny penny more toward the 25 teams in existence, much less add 12 additional do nothings to the equation, it seems to me that the TSA should provide some form of proof that these roving bands of viper teams have foiled any terrorist activities what-so-ever or have added to the public safety factor which they claim as their legacy.
The next thing I came across was the terrorist cupcakes and that's so far off the cliff that it gave me pause to think about just what the hell is going on in this nation. Orwellian is Orwellian and Big Brother is a reality. Is that what the people of this nation really want as a societal structure?
It seems that a woman who was traveling from Boston's Logan airport was given a send off by a friend with two cupcakes as a going away present. Somehow she was able to get past the Rent-A-Cop security checkpoint at Logan with these dangerous instruments of terrorism and she consumed one of the delicacies on her way to Las Vegas and decided to save the remaining terrorist treat for her return journey to Boston. Please understand that I can't make up stuff like this and what happened next is the absolute truth.
Rebecca Hains, the perpetrator of this dire "security threat" was pulled to the side by TSA personnel in Las Vegas and her cupcake was confiscated because the little morsel's "gel-like" substance was deemed to be a "security threat." My theory is that the rent-a-cop in question had the munchies. Maybe if she hadn't eaten one of the threats on the way out there she'd be looking at the outside world through bars as I write this. Here's a video for your viewing pleasure that a Boston TV station aired about the incident.
Killer Cupcakes? You Make The Call...
As usual, when the TSA steps on the old wanger they have a spokesperson appear to perform the customary tap dance about how, or maybe why, things have happened that should never have happened in the first place. In this case it came in the form of TSA spokesman James Fotenos who had this to say, "In general, cakes and pies are allowed in carry-on luggage." He added that the agency was looking into why this particular cupcake was confiscated. I'd suggest that they check the body fat content of the idiot who confiscated said terrorist threat in the first place.
The maker of said threat, Wicked Good Cupcakes, was contacted by Ms. Hains about the incident and they graciously are sending her a new batch at no cost to her. Rumor has it that their business has been booming since the incident hit the local airwaves. Maybe there was a tag with the word "wicked" on the perpetrator (the cupcake not Rebecca) that set off the alarm bells in the former McDonald's employee's brain who now wears a rent-a-cop badge. Who really knows?
But rest easy my fellow countrymen. The airports are now a much safer place. As a spokesperson for Wicked Cupcakes observed, "At least we're a tasty, terrorist threat." I suppose so. All they need to do is ask the dummy who confiscated that tasty morsel. I reckon somewhere along the line that the evidence got consumed somewhere along the chain of custody.
I'm just sayin...
The Frog Prince
Warning: No sooner had I published this and it was settling than this hit my mailbox. Chocolate cake now? Those must be some hungry critters manning those security check points. Read the link below to see what the latest allegation is.
Seems chocolate cake is the latest Perp.
- Did TSA Swipe a Slice of Passenger’s Chocolate Cake? | TheBlaze.com
First it was a report that the Transportation Security Administration confiscated a Massachusetts woman's cupcake. Now, a Florida man is claiming the TSA helped themselves to a chunk of the chocolate cake in his suitcase. Joe Maltese was visiting rel