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When Is It Okay To Hate?

Updated on December 1, 2011

When Is It Okay To Hate? : Exploring The World Of A "Hater"



Urbandictionary.com defines a hater as, "A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person." The difference between this type of hater and someone that hates in a classical sense is that the prior doesn't necessarily feel an intense sense of loathing or hostility towards the object of their hater-ism whereas the latter does. Therefore the question, "with friends such as these, who needs enemies?". Is strikingly appropriate, because it is often the people that one holds dear and thus would least expect animosity from that project such an odious characteristic, and always someone who is close enough to us to witness our successes. The quality that likens the two terms is that they both generally stem from envy. Neither phenomenon is new, yet the term hater has been coined recently and comes to my attention because of it's increase in frequency.

Being a hater implies that envy has been acted or spoken upon often in an under-handed fashion. A hater is a coward because he is non-confrontational and likely to be indirect with his devices. I suggest that the flaw in a hater's personality is not that he experiences envy, only rather than better himself he focuses his attention outwardly and negatively. Instead of encouraging competition he under-cuts his opposition. Politicians may refer to this activity as "mud-slinging", and defenders of the hater's agenda would probably rely on the adage that "all is fair in love and war." The root of envy and therefore casually of being a hater is insecurity, whether that be the doubt that one can win a fair fight, or that one is not good enough in comparison to his rival. Those that accept the principle that all is fair in love and war may over look the distinction that it takes two parties to classify either love or war. A hater's aggression is one-sided and unprovoked actively.

To be fair; recipients of hater-ism may exasperate and antagonize the actions of a hater by either actively or passively boasting their possessions or successes. Arrogance is a vice that is glamorized in our culture and coined as swagger. Naturally the more successful you are will correlate with the amount of people who are exposed to your success, whether or not you are boastful. Humility may depolarize envy but a hater is unable to get past his emotions regardless. Also we perpetuate the acceptability of haters in our society through our own expectations as the quantity of one's haters qualifies one's success.

I have heard on numerous occasions that if you have haters then you are doing something right. Judas Iscariot betrayal of Jesus personifies hater-ism with in a biblical context, and the phenomenon is illustrated in the selling of Joseph into Egyptian slavery by his brothers who are envious of his "tunic of many colors" and his father's apparent favoritism of him as seen in Genesis. These two men did something right, so perhaps there is truth in that theory. However betrayal does not necessitate hater-ism as seen historically in Brutus' assistance with the assassination of the tyrant Caesar or Attila the Hun's killing of his brother Bleda. The difference being, that the two war lords had it coming to them because they projected hatred where as the two biblical figures were betrayed with out warrant.

While being a hater is nothing new to the world, a paradigm shift in our normative values has allowed this activity to grow unkempt. Lover's of positive thinking and attitudes should be aware and boldly and actively expose hater's intentions, motivations and actions in order to promote fair game. Expect haters to hate but at the end of the day, "it's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not."

P.S. Wilkinson IV

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    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 5 years ago from Jamaica

      Your last statement says it all.

      Haters usually feel inferior to you so they express themselves that way, it's like a defense mechanism. They feel that if they love you they will be giving into weakness. It's their way of feeling stronger, and good about themselves. They will pick apart your successes and achievements, finding fault with every thing you do to make you look bad even though you are the one that has the success.

      Humility makes them mad. If you still love them and treat them equally they get even more hateful, because they think you are patronizing them.

      Nice hub!

    • Innuentendre profile image
      Author

      Innuentendre 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Absolutely Cardisa, thank you for your reply!

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Never is right to hate or have ill feelings towards anyone. For true liberation and freedom, it's never appropriate to make others feel inferior for being them or having or not having what they do in life. When we have value for ourselves we don't serve the need to make someone else feel worthless. Some point in time we have to take responisbility for our self and understand the part we play in this world and each other's lives. Hate is never the answer.

    • mjfarns profile image

      mjfarns 5 years ago from Bloomington, Illinois USA

      Fantastic hub! Very, very well written! And Hattie's reading of it really reinforced the whole point: "When we have value for ourselves we don't serve the need to make someone else feel worthless"

    • mljdgulley354 profile image

      mljdgulley354 5 years ago

      Wow, great hub.I have a feeling haters don't have the fortitude to become as good or as successful as the one they are pointing their hate at. Another cliche that might fit here is "Misery loves company". Hmm

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      Haters are people with too much time and not enough swagger. By swagger I mean enough charisma, insight, talent, and motivation to do whatever. They just through their shade to anything that makes them vaguely uncomfortable for one reason or another. I love your biblical examples as well, because it shows your biggest foes can be in close proximity to you. Great hub! I enjoyed it very much.

    • JCielo profile image

      JCielo 5 years ago from England

      I also believe in the link with envy. People who are envious want to drag everyone else down to their level, rather than working towards improvimg themselves.

    • Innuentendre profile image
      Author

      Innuentendre 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Thank you for the comment mjfarns, HattieMattieMae is on point! I agree mljdgulley354, being a hater is a full time job! Trust me, I considered it but the phrase didn't make the edit! Definitely Alecia, I find it fascinating that as much as the world may change, people's hearts remain remarkably constant. True that JCielo, strange frame of mind, if you ask me!

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