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When Too Nice Is Not Nice

Updated on February 27, 2013

Playing an accordion is nice, but when it's played by someone who is "too nice," and without being asked, this "good" event can turn sour.


They're everywhere. Work, school, church, job, bar room's, and even in dark places where we civilized folk dare not to tread.

I don't know why these people I am going to talk about, appear in these places and mostly without being asked. They are just like that in breeding, background and lifestyle.

What makes it sad is there is no law anywhere on any books that make what these people do illegal. They are free as Jaybirds flying in a blue sky. Free to come into our lives, then leave before we have a chance to ask them "Why are you doing this for me?"

Personally, I know a few people like this who I describe as being "too nice." That's correct. "Too nice."

In life, there are degrees of "nice," just like there are degrees of "evil." There is nice, and then there is "too nice." I am not going to explain this principle about evil for I detest evil in any shape or form.

To those of you who are confused, let me explain as best I can from my limited vat of worldly-experience what being "too nice" is and that way you can join the rest of my readers in learning all about the "too nice" people who live with us in modern-day America.


Always volunteering themselves to serve you and I in secret or public and without being asked.

Always presenting that perky-perk face and beaming smile no matter what the circumstances may be.

(NOTE: I am not saying that being "too nice" is a bad thing. It's just annoying at times.)

Always talking at 90 miles per hour about "positive" things that "I" need to think about even when my family physician tells me how sick I am and talking is not a good thing for me to do.

Always running up to me in a restaurant, no matter the city or restaurant, and yelling, "hey there, Kenny. Just look at your stomach how empty it is!" I guess I can be thankful that the "too nice" person didn't remark how "big" my stomach is.

Always winking at me and my wife in such a manner that I get uncomfortable.


Always talking about sunshine, rainbows and Monarch butterflies and never giving me an opportunity to share my latest painful visit to my doctor.

You get my drift.

If you are still confused, here is a short list of people who are NOT thought of as "too nice."

Baby Face Nelson

John Dillinger

Simon Cowle (American Idol

The late Usama Bin ladin

Internet hackers

Two-faced girl and boyfriends

You get my drift.

People such as Roy Rogers, Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers, and those like them will always be thought of as being "nice," but not "too nice." They had their flaws like you and I. But "too nice" people will never let you see their character flaws or smudges.

Here is short-list of "Things 'Too Nice' People Do" that can lead to us moderate people getting angry.

Volunteering to help our wives with their coats in a public place.

Sitting with us in the same booth at the restaurant or our choice.

Playing guitar, harmonica (or accordion in photo at top), at a moment's notice and without being asked.

Dropping by every night of the week to visit us no matter if we have company or not.

Mowing our lawns early on a Saturday morning when we need our sleep.

Volunteering us to go with them to help support a charity called "Friends of The Old Cars and Trucks of America."

Slapping us on the back when we don't need it.

Coming (uninvited) to our workplace to visit us because the all-night visit with us the night before wasn't enough.

Volunteering to take our kids or grand kids to the local zoo.

Volunteering our homes (without asking) for their civic-minded group, "People For People," to meet three nights a week.

Volunteering us to feed that same group who hasn't accomplished one single thing in ten years.

You get my drift.

Now if you are going to be on guard against people who are "too nice," good luck. Like the fabled Ninja warriors of the ancient Orient, they cannot be heard, seen or spotted by what they wear or how their voices sound,.

People who are "too nice" never, and I do mean never, wear flashy clothing because they do not want any attention for themselves, just us.

A person who is "too nice" will almost whisper at times when in a crowd making it almost impossible to discern what cause they have volunteered us to work for or what relatives they are sending to our homes to stay a few days for they, the "too nice" people do not have room in their homes.

These are sure-signs that you are about to encounter a person who is "too nice."

To make things worse, when you and I have had our fill or these people and their noble acts, we try hard to tell them in a nice way to "stop," because we do not need this much attention, the people who are "too nice" will always . . .

Look dumbfounded. Then ask in a surprised-tone of voice, "you talking about me here?"

Change the subject from them, the "too nice" people, to a football game on television.

Shed fake tears to show us just how callus we can be.

Start up with a "consider others first," lecture to shame us into keeping them in our lives.

Looking disgusted and huffing as they storm away from us--hoping this ploy will force us to run after them and apologize.

You get my drift.

So what can you and I do to avoid being "saddled" with the people who are "too nice"?

Do not answer the door when they ring the doorbell.

Smile at them and keep walking if they approach you in public.

Always say, "sorry, I do not have time," and keep walking when they start talking to you about supporting their group, "People Who Love Biscuits," and other groups such as this.

(NOTE: I do love biscuits, but not enough to join a group to prove it.)

Never give a person who is "too nice" an inch, for as the old saying goes, "they will take your smile."

You get my drift.

At least I hope you do.

(NOTE: the sound you hear next is the sound of my front door shutting and my computer shutting down to avoid being spotted by the people who are "too nice."

Always perky and "super-nice," is one way to spot a person who is "too nice."



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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, mecheshier,

      I agree with you. Too happy is okay as long as its genuine, but the "perky perk," niceness turns me off for its not real.

      Thanks so much for the kind words.

    • mecheshier profile image


      5 years ago

      Great Hub.... love it... Well, I have to say that my biggest complaints have been that I am to happy. I say, if you cannot be happy, then stay at home in bed. So I suppose that I am probably too nice as well. lol My mom always said, kill them with kindness. :-)

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Sorry about your TV situation, but I'm so glad to get such a sweet comment from you. Thanks, love.

    • LongTimeMother profile image


      5 years ago from Australia

      Yes, Ken, I vaguely recall that Seinfeld episode. However I live off the grid and don't have cable, so who knows how many years it will be before it rolls around on free tv in Australia again. I wonder if I'll remember you when it does. lol.

      Thanks for the invite to follow you. It was very nicely presented. Is it too nice to extend the same invitation to you? :)

    • profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago

      No, I am just brutally-honest. You are that VALUABLE to me. I am way too guilty of not telling you all that enough.

      I will do my very best to write the hubs that will touch your life.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      You're so kind my dear friend. Thank you. Keep those awesome hubs coming:) God Bless.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Dear lovedoctor,

      I've missed you as well. Thank you for the comment that made my night. I DO value you and my followers. Without you where would I be? Nowhere; Depressed; Lonely; Listless and down-right unmoved by life.

      You see just how valuable you are?

      God bless.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Hi Ken, this was a great hub! I also read your replies to the commenters and I do agree with you. voted up!

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      You too have opened my eyes to a situation. It maybe that "I" am, at times, too grumpy and cannot tolerate the super-nice.

      But then again, when I'm in a great mood, I get instantly uneasy when a super-nice person attaches themselves to me and will not let me talk, just listen to their ramblings on everything in the world.

      If you are a Seinfeld fan, (watch the episode with The Pool Boy, Ramone, at Jerry's health club, who did this to Jerry).


      And if YOU arent a follower, I invite you to be. Id love it.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, picklesandrufus,

      You win too, my dear friend. Mean people, if left alone, can hurt you and I along with themselves.

      I guess it's a term of endurment, too nice? Too mean? Just hope we can find a peaceful balance.

      Thanks always for your sweet comments.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, torrilynn,

      You too are very keen in the field of human personna. Yes, "some" of the super-nice are just themselves, but most are "just" working hard to convince me, and others, about how sweet they are.

      God help.

      And I invite you to be one of my followers if you arent already.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Tell me about it. How very astute and observant you are of people's characters.

      I had never thought of that, but you are correct. At the worst possible times, "these" nice folks that we have helped months ago, pop-up, and bam! We are off on a trek that measures 50 miles to pull a person from under an apple cart.

      Go figure.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dearest catgypsy,

      I agree with you. If I feel rough, I try to not unload it on my friends, but by the same token, I am not comfortable telling a lie by jumping up and down to prove how happy I am either.

      I just want to be taken as I am. And I do that with my friends and it works.

      Thanks for your words of encouragement.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Angela,

      Thank you kindly for your nice comment. I love the honest tone you always write into your words. I have been known to run from "these" people if I viewed them in a store. Ugly of me, but saved my nerves.

      And sis, just want to say that you, catgypsy, and all of my nice followers are the reasons I hang around on HubPages.

      I know that my hubs will never taste glory.

      Or be nominated for any of HubPages' contests.

      But that's fine. As long as the angelablair's, catgypsy's, livingsta's, and the rest of my followers are happy with me . . .then Im happy.

      God bless you richly!!!

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, tlpoague,

      Nice to meet you too. And thanks for dropping by. Glad that my hub did so good. A wise old uncle of mine (who loved to drink booze), said this, "follow a fool long enough down the road and you will learn one thing from him," and pertaining to Always-Grinning people. He was right.

      I cannot trust a person who is NEVER down and out. They are, to me, not human.

      Please! Let's just be us. Thats it.

      And if you arent following me, I Cordially Invite you to do so. Id love it.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, ignugent17,

      Nice to meet you. And you are right. We CAN be nauseated if we just eat chocolate cake all of the time. Think on that one. I like people to be what they are and what mood they are in. Don't paint a smile for me when you are suffering behind it.

      If I am your friend, I will suffer with you.

      And hey, if YOU aren't following me, I Cordially Invite YOU to do so Today. I would love it.


      Kenneth, (who right now, IS smiling!)

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, livingsta,

      Thanks so very much for your sweet comment. Yes, I've met and dealt with a few OVERLY-NICE people whom I had an uneasy feeling about. Turns out, (some) of these very people hurt me the worst. That'll teach me to be so gullible, eh?

      But I can say with true conviction: YOU and my Followers are NOT like the people described in this hub.

      I love talking to YOU and hearing from you. You make this old man's day.



    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Ooops, sorry. Shhhh. Mum's the word. I hope that after you have done some needed-damage control, that you are okay. A thousand pardons, my good pal.

      And let me share a confidential secret about me: I am NOT one of these super-nice, perky-perk 24/7, always shining like a new GE lightbulb telling people they "need a smile from the smile kitchen," Arggggh! Turns my stomach.

      Excuse me for a trip to the "john."

      Talk to you soon.

    • LongTimeMother profile image


      5 years ago from Australia

      ROFL. I'm left wondering are they too nice, or are you too grumpy? :)

      I don't consider anyone to be 'too nice', but I can think of a few I consider 'too annoying' because they make more effort to be nice than I feel comfortable with. I feel sorry for them. Must be hard to have people like you and me making excuses to get away. Almost makes me wish I was more nice. lol.

    • picklesandrufus profile image


      5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Well Kenneth, now I understand "too nice" and I tend to agree! Guess I would rather be around them than too mean, but both can be annoying. Fun hub!

    • torrilynn profile image


      5 years ago

      Hi Kenneth,

      thanks for the hub that you have written here

      sometimes i believe that people can be too nice

      but mostly i dont think they arent being too nice

      and they are just simply being themselves. I guess it just depends

      on how you perceive the whole situation.

      thanks and voted up.

    • Lee B profile image

      Lee Barton 

      5 years ago from New Mexico

      Have you ever noticed that some of these "nice" people who do you, oh so many "favors" you never asked for, seem to need favors from you at the most inconvenient times?

      Great hub! I really enjoyed it.

    • catgypsy profile image


      5 years ago from the South

      I can certainly agree with the always cheerful thing...there are times when you can't be cheerful, and shouldn't be, and I don't want to be told "there's a silver lining to everything" blah, blah, blah. I find most "too nice" people are basically doing all this for themselves. It's to make THEM feel better, not you. Good hub!

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 

      5 years ago from Central Texas

      Kenneth -- these very folks are the bain of my existence (and it seems there multiply as they get older and then run in groups). Excellent and entertaining Hub as all of us know (and run from) at least one of these people! Best/Sis

    • tlpoague profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      Hmm, this brings to mind a few people I know.

      I hope you have a better day.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Nice hub and we all know that too much of anything is not good.

      Have a great day.

    • livingsta profile image


      5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hahaha, Kenneth, that was funny. I am sure you have written this because of too many "too nice" people whom you have come across in your life. I can think of a few I have come across too. Thank you for sharing this. Votes up and sharing!!!!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      Shh... you'll give away my secrets. (Thank you for this. Shh...)


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