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When is Straight White Man’s History Month?

Updated on June 18, 2013
Heterosexual White Pride Day in Germany
Heterosexual White Pride Day in Germany | Source

Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, a wolf in pink sheep’s wool, decided to celebrate gays in the military on June 15th as part of gay pride month. Panetta felt he had to erect a flagpole for them and celebrate their “contribution” to the military. Gays should stick to the Tony Awards and design shows if they want to celebrate their contributions to something.

Gays are only 3% of the military, but Panetta wants to celebrate. Well, where’s left-handed appreciation day? They’re 10% of the population! I say all us Whites join a group that celebrates White pride and take a stance against attacks we have been under ever since Lincoln freed the slaves and Truman desegregated the military.

Moonbattery online states that Panetta is promoting a perverted pride celebration that is a “triumph of depravity.” And this type of celebration leads to gay marriage, bestiality and Republican pedophilia (it’s all the gays’ fault). Moonbattery also comes to a baseless but useful conclusion, “These advocacy groups will ensure that homosexuals receive the special privileges enjoyed by other officially favored groups. They will be first in line for promotion and last to receive discipline — or there will be legal repercussions.” Yes, homosexuals will now receive special treatment, like not being stripped of rank, removed from duty, or be beaten or killed for being gay in the military. Remember that when we White straight men get treated well, it’s the natural course of things. When gays get treated equally, we all know it’s “special treatment.”

Elaine Donnelly, President of the Center for Military Readiness (a non-governmental organization), has condemned Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta's promotion of the department's first-ever gay pride celebration. With regards to gays in the military, Donnelly says, “…the LGBT activist groups know exactly how to intimidate other people, make other people feel they are not welcome, their views are not welcome, and name calling occurs quite a bit.” Yes, it’s the homosexuals that are intimidating people because, “Homosexuals are far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime.” Homosexuals are really intimidating others when they are being intimidated or attacked. I really feel for all those straight kids being bullied by gangs of gays in their high schools and in shopping malls. Gay intimidation is the largest growing type of gang violence inside of homophobes' minds.

Liberals will tell you that they have gays in the military in Canada, Great Britain, Israel, Germany and Sweden, and things work well. First, that’s not true because it contradicts my bigoted stereotype of gays. Also, Canada and Britain are gay, so they don’t count. Israel is too busy looking in Palestinians' trousers for pipe bombs to care who’s gay. Germany has the gay troops wear lederhosen so they can be easily spotted and punished. And who knew Sweden even had a military?

Gays don't deserve to be happy and have the special privileges reserved for heterosexuals. Only straight men in japanese bath houses deserve happy endings because they are not perverts like gays. And no men should be in the military if they don’t deserve happy endings.

Judge not lest you be judged? Well I’m judging biotches, so sit your pretty asses down and shut up. Oh, snap!

Please let’s stop celebrating gays and minorities and lets get back to a time when every day was straight White day and no one else mattered.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

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    • texshelters profile image
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      texshelters 2 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      B-Dawg: I like it. PTxS

    • profile image

      B-Dawg 5 years ago

      Texshelters,

      I am a biracial man and have been studying race for 6 years. I think that every white man should spray tan their skin black and live as black men. I am as serious as a heart attack. Black skin will give you more free speech power, protection, and get you off the hook for slavery.

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      What about it do you disagree with?

      Peace,

      Tex Shelters

    • daskittlez69 profile image

      daskittlez69 5 years ago from midwest

      I do not agree with the content of this hub. But I did like the title, which is what drew me to it. And it is a great question.

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Chris is a hard case.

      PTxS

    • Chris Dane profile image

      Chris Dane 5 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Ha ha!

    • American Romance profile image

      American Romance 5 years ago from America

      Tex, you must forgive Chris, he lives in liberal la la land, I am trying to help him out of it. I love the hub and voted it up!

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Chris,

      I think I could get a measure on the AZ ballot for "Supremacist September". Great ideas!

      PTxS

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      "unlike you,"...??? as in you found out the top secret info that I am not a mere mortal? Ya wanna keep that down, please?

    • Chris Dane profile image

      Chris Dane 5 years ago from Maryland, USA

      I think the holiday you demand should be in Fascist February or Goose Stepping March. Or, there's always Supremacist September. So many white months to choose from!

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      fpher: I'm a bit slow sometimes for all the confusion my posts brings to mere mortals, unlike you. Thanks!

      PTxS

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      The fact that this all IS REALLY true...is what I'm referring to.....and it boggles the minds of normal, mentally healthy people like myself.

      Obviously, you did not get my gist.....no harm done, as far as I can see.

      I NEED to pretend it's fiction....now, do you get me?

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Thanks Bob. I am glad you got the satire here.

      It is incredible phony when straight white men are "outraged" by being picked on.

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      I am not sure what you are referring to, but I thank you for the comment. If you check out the links (click on the blue tinted type) you will see that Panetta really did have a celebration for gays in the military and Elaine Donnelley really did make those comments and so did Moonbattery, so what part was fiction? I really don't see what you are referring to.

      PTxS

    • Bob Zermop profile image

      Bob Zermop 5 years ago from California, USA

      I think I actually almost died while reading this! Hahahahaha! No joke, you are Colbert material.

      On the serious side, great choice of topic for your satire. Though I believe that straight white men are occasionally being side-lined, it takes time for equality to spread and it's just a joke (not a funny one) when any straight white men act as if they are the most victimized people in history.

      This was hilarious, voted up, awesome, and funny!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Well, if it's perfectly OK with you.....I'm regarding this hub as complete fiction......possibly Sci-fi. There's only so much outrageous nonsense I can accept in one month....and I'm already over- limit! Thanks anyway.