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Think for Yourself before You Blame

Updated on August 7, 2013

The Voice With Last Season's Coaches: Adam, Usher, Blake and Shakira

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It's Easier to Find Fault in Others

I'm a big fan of The Voice (NBC), which ended it's fourth season recently. I thoroughly enjoy the great talent and love the bantering of the coaches. I had to shake my head when there was such a commotion over Adam Levine's comment of " I hate this country". Do people not think for themselves before they blame? All I can say to that is you must not watch the show much...or at all. First of all, he didn't shout it out or even say it for anyone to hear. He muttered a negative thing to himself (as we all do from time to time) in frustration when two people on his team were being eliminated from the show.

How many times do we say under our breath (or think) I hate this or that, when really we just are upset or disappointed with a situation. We don't really mean it, yet people love to make such a big deal over such little things. If you watch The Voice, I don't know how many times Adam has said to Blake Shelton, "I hate you!" It usually stems from a great performance of someone on Blake's team and Blake just laughs as he knows there is absolutely nothing meant behind the comment. Adam and Blake are very good friends.

So, why did it make such a stir? Sure it would have been better if he hadn't uttered the words, and I think most, if not all that criticized him don't believe he truly hates his country, (a comment was even made that he should be deported even though Adam was born in Los Angeles), yet many people felt compelled to join in on the verbal stoning just the same.

The Young Aren't the Only Ones the Bully Others

We've Allowed Ourselves to Become a Bully Society

There is so much attention these days of the bullying that goes on in schools and social media sites and rightfully so. It is very damaging and hurtful and doing it can lead to dreadful scenarios. Still, as much as we deplore the behavior of the young for their hurtful actions, no one thinks there is anything wrong when adults bully other adults in the same social media commentaries. Do you think adults don't have feelings, or that because they maybe a celebrity they deserve it? It's time to understand that we adults are the roll models for the young and if we want their behavior to change we must first change our own.

Just like the bully on the playground, TV and radio talk shows, twitters, Facebook posts, tabloids and bloggers all need to re-assess their reasoning behind their commentary. Schoolyard bullies, in many cases, have been bullied themselves and picking on others make them feel powerful. Power is behind any verbal abuse, so whether it's for ratings, more traffic to a social site or any other selfish purpose, first think before a comment is made...."What if that were me?"

Why Jump on the Bandwagon?

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It's Not About the First Amendment

Our country was founded on the First Amendment rights and this is one of the reasons why it is so great. It allows the freedom for me to speak to you today without government censorship. But what I'm talking about is not about censoring. It's about personal responsibility. Too many people cry out that it's their first amendment right to spew almost any rhetoric they like and because the law is not discriminating they are correct. But if it's hurtful, just because it's their right.....is it right? You then may say, so who decides what's right and wrong?

It all starts with one person. One person who analyzes his thought first before something goes out that can't be taken back. I'm sure Adam would like to have that moment back and change what happened but he can't. Just as all those who have attacked him in various ways now can't undo what they have said. But it all comes down to thought. We think before we do anything else. Thought is first cause in anything, and to analyze the negative thought would be a very wise course before taking any action. You hear "I hate this country" and your gut says, "How dare you say such a thing". Now those who don't look any further into that thought start declaring war with their comments instead of stepping back, getting the full story, judging themselves first to see if they have the any right to condemn and after all that, proceed accordingly.

What Does the Mirror Reflect back?

We see what we want to see. If we want to find blame, there is always someone or something out there to blame. When we think of ourselves we tend to think we are upstanding, righteous and civil minded, but is that how others see us?

Today I had errands to run and as I was driving down a 3 lane boulevard I watched as the car in front of me put on his blinker to move to the next lane. When he had a decent opening he started to move over and the truck behind him in that lane laid on the horn (for a long time!). There was no danger of a collision yet the irritated driver had to let him and everyone else around know that he was very displeased. As the traffic moved along down the road I observed the same irritated driver now ahead of me stopping traffic so that he could quickly move over two lanes. Unfortunately we all blame people for things we do ourselves and nothing will change unless we choose to change the person within.

The lyrics for "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson sums it up eloquently:

I'm Starting With The Man In the Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make a Change

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