What Do You Do When Life is Passing You By?
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This is a question that plagues many people that have long since graduated high school but failed to finish college. I am personally in this same situation. How does this happen?
In 1997, I graduated high school an decided that my girl friend and I would attend a local community college. I finished my freshman year but broke up with the girl I was dating and met a new girl. This relationship found me moving to Indiana, working a full time job and putting school on hold.
I decided to look out for my best interest and move home and go back to school. The second semester of my sophomore year I had a severe injury that forced me to drop my courses. In the fall of 2002, I was accepted to Ball State University where I attended one semester, but did not receive any loans or financial aid, and was not able to continue for my second semester.
I was then married and started an insurance business where I had some success, but then my wife that I was with for 6 years decided to leave me. Now, in 2010 I've reapplied to school and am now attending Indiana University. I'm currently engaged to a girl that has a degree and has a great job that she loves and makes really good money.
In July of this year, I had back surgery and in August I had surgery to have melanoma cancer removed from my leg. Due to time missed at work, I was terminated since I hadn't been there long enough for FMLA. I recently applied for a job at my fiance's company but was not hired.
I'm 32 years old, I have no degree, no job, and I'm with someone who has everything together. How do you cope with this and feel like an adequate man? She is a great person and I know that she could be in a better situation than what she's in with me, but she's staying with me. I guess that's the important thing, but it doesn't make me feel any better as a man. We're talking about getting married so I can start receiving her health benefits, but I know this is not how she wants to do it, so I keep putting it off.
Time goes by so quickly, and before you know it, you're in your 30's with nothing more than what you had when you graduated high school at 17. I'm trying to be optimistic, but this year has been filled with obstacles that I can't seem to over come physically or mentally. Is it fair to keep dragging her down this road that I've started numerous times only to move off the beaten path to try something else? Is anyone else experiencing the same thing that I am?
When will things get better? How do I balance this life and finish school and keep my confidence through this relationship? It's going to be a long road.