Why Are you So Angry?
Using Anger To Hide Fear.
This morning I found myself becoming extremely angry at other drivers on the road. I was so angry that I began to yell and curse at these drivers. During my tirade I failed to remember that I have two children sitting behind me listening to every word I said. When I stopped to breathe and drive through an intersection after a long wait at a traffic light, my son asked me, "Daddy, why are you so angry?".
Let me first describe that particular trip to my son's school. After pulling off of my street, I was tail gated by a school bus for several miles because the driver wanted me to drive faster than the speed limt, she was apparently in a hurry. The bus behind me caught up with me after making five pickup stops and stopping at two stops signs before it caught up with me. After the bus turned at a stop sign, a kid with a silver sports car started tail gating my car, and at the worst possible spot to pass on this section of road, he chose to pass me. I had to slow down and pull of of the road, because he passed on a sharp curve in a no passing zone with on coming traffic.
Then there is the intersection of Winchester Road and Route 33. There is a McDonald's on the one side and a Speedway on the other. The entrances are about fifty feet from the intersection it's self. People pulling into these two businesses are not bad, it is the people trying to exit these establishments. Some of these drivers inch their way into the road way forcing you to let them go in front of you, which isn't really that bad you know what they are doing. It is the car behind them that is dangerous, the car behind the inch worm car always guns its engine and without any warning speeds out in front of my vehicle forcing my to slam on my brakes. My reaction can cause the person behind eating his Egg McMuffin or lighting his cigarette not paying attention to drive into the back of my car.
The next driver is a gambler that thinks he can get his entire car in front of me before my vehicle covers the ten feet between us while I am driving 35 miles per hour to go through a green light. Several things can happen in this scenario, he hits my front fender, I hit his drivers door or left rear fender, I slam on my brakes and avoid him only to have the person behind my car hit me. it is a lose-lose situation.
Now back to that question my son asked me. Why am I so angry? I am angry becasue other drivers don't care about the safety of my children. Other drivers are more concerned about getting ahead even if it is a single car length than worrying about whether or not I am going to stop in time to avoiding hitting them. I am angry because my children can get injured by someone thinking that their car is fast enough to pull into oncoming traffic even though they have little control of their car as they pull onto the road. I am angry because that guy who thinks if he just guns his car after the car infront of him, I won't move and he won't ram his car into my son's lap.
I am angry because I am scared. I am scared some reckless bus driver, some foolish kid, the inchworm and his shadow, the smoker, the eater, and the gambler is going to cause harm to my children no matter what I do to try and keep them safe. I am angry because I am scared that no matter how much I try to keep my children safe the control is in the hands of these other drivers choosing to put my children in harm's way.
I told him I am angry because these other people don't care about keeping you safe, they don't care if you get hurt, and they don't care if they kill you. They just want to get to where ever they are going as fast as they can get there.