Why Conservatives Always Win
Let us pray.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the oxygen starved, I shall fear no stupid.
Though lies surround me, though I am told to fear everything, though the hysterical screams of 'Muslim terrorist' echo in my ears forever, I will not yield to senseless panic.
I will not become a tool of a war machine.
I will not grow pig eyed and pointy haired.
I will not send my children to die for oil, bolstered by a false sense of patriotism.
Or will I?
I've recently begun writing 'polarizing' material for a debate based site and it's made me realize more than ever that conservatives and liberals are actually different beasts. I mean, almost to the point where I reckon a few hundred years of breeding conservatives with conservatives and liberals with liberals would give you two distinct species of human being. (If anyone wants to build a secret lab and engage in centuries of a specialized breeding plan, give me a call, I'm sure it would be wildly popular.)
I'm not splitting the two groups by political affiliation here, I am splitting them by the way they see the world and how they approach debate and change.
Liberals seem to have a more hopeful outlook on the world. Take the American liberal, who suffered through eight years of conservative rule, largely getting by on snarky comments and soy lattes and the occasional protest which was ignored.
Now take the American conservative, who, after less than a year of Obama, was stockpiling weapons and filling internet message boards with plans of insurrection.
Both of these are wild generalizations of course, but they represent the overall tone of each camp. Even when it came out that Bush had lied, there were no WMD's in Iraq and no evidence for going to war in Iraq and never was, the most liberals did was huff and snuff and make terse posts. If conservatives ever uncovered proof of deep corruption and lies in the liberal camp, I'm pretty sure there would be a riot.
Now that liberals are in power, they're having trouble getting basic things like a public option for health care passed. Seriously. Let's look at that again. They are in power, but they can't even provide public health care for everyone. Yes, the health care bill passed, but it did so in a way that almost defeated the purpose of the bill in the first place, though it was undeniably a step in the right direction.
A conservative government send the country to war against Iraq on the back of hysterical fear mongering, but a liberal government can't manage to pass a public option on health care that would ensure health care for all. It is literally easier to convince the country to go into massive debt to kill people overseas than it is to try and save those at home.
Aside from being tragic, it shows us that conservatives are just better at getting things done. They rely on pure angry emotion, on stirring up fear, on taking aggressive action. Liberals, on the other hand, with their need for diplomacy and for making nice, and without the constant sense that there is a sword of Damocles over their heads, just don't take the same sort of aggressive action, and unfortunately, in the USA at least, they are losing even when they win.
Watch this clip from the Daily Show, you'll be glad you did