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Why Do People Hate Me, Or Take An Instant Dislike To Me?

Updated on January 8, 2018
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I've learned that no matter how rich or poor we are - or how decent & nice - not everyone will like us.

Introduction

Why I was inspired to write this article after observing several incidents that caused me to wonder why people could be incredibly nasty to people they didn't know.

On one occasion while travelling on a train, I overheard a gentleman say to his companion, "I can't stand her." Shortly afterwards he added, "I've never even met her". On another occasion, while travelling on a bus, the behaviour of two girls on the top deck astounded me. They were pointing and laughing out the window at any and everyone for unknown reasons. It upset me because those people are just strangers, someone's children, friend, grandparents. Why were they so mean? What was so funny?

Table of contents

  • Why would people take an instant dislike to me?
  • Phobias.
  • Why would people hate me without knowing me?
  • Video: Social Anxiety - Everyone Hates Me Syndrome
  • Additional reasons why people might dislike of you.
  • Video: Things That Make People Hate You.
  • What can I do about it?
  • Final thoughts.

Why would people take an instant dislike to me?

You may not realise or even believe it that people can take an instant dislike to you just from your very first meeting and without even knowing you.

There could be many reasons including personal appearance or people's phobias. Sometimes people may even tarnish your character through gossip, false rumours or outright slander. Also, some people will be incompatible with you, which could relate to the star sign you are, or uncomfortable because of your personality. After reading this handy guide. you'll wonder no more why someone may act weird toward you. To learn to get over it, and realise it's just a fact of life and sometimes, not personal.

Phobias

People can dislike you purely because of their phobias

The following phobias are a just a few of the hundreds of phobias relating to the fear of people and why they could fear you, not hate you.

  • Alliumphobia: Fear of anything relating to garlic.
  • Androphobia: fear of adult men.
  • Gynophobia: fear of women
  • Coulrophobia: Fear of the look of clowns.
  • Peladophobia: Fear of bald-headed people.
  • Pogonophobia: Fear of people with beards.
  • Xenophobia: Fear of strangers or foreigners.
  • Sociophobia: Fear of people or society in general.
  • All Phobias Listed at Wikipedia.

New research has suggested that a single glance of a 10th of a second is sufficient to form a reliable first impression.

Not only whether we find someone attractive, but also, of their social and professional standing, and whether we believe them to be trusted or not.

Why would people hate me without knowing me?

The reasons people gave why they didn't like, or hated certain people. After a considerable amount of time and research, I studiously discovered why people may take an instant dislike to you.

I accomplished this by asking everybody I did not know - random strangers I found in various online video chatrooms. They were brutally honest with their answers to my question. Here's what I asked them: What would make you instantly dislike, or hate someone you've seen for the first time? A consensus of their answers appears below in no particular order. Each of the reasons cited was given at least once. Average ages were between 18 - 45, and without the expletive, racist and homophobic obscenities used.

It was bizarre how such trivial things like the clothing someone chooses to wear and how they wear them. For example, guys wearing their jeans and trousers too low, exposing their briefs. Women with low-cut tops revealing too much fat, or clothing that reveals stretch marks on tummies were all reasons for peoples hate, or severe dislike for someone. Having a weird haircut or having a challenging look. Facial piercings. Too much facial or body hair and the dislike for the rich were other reasons.

Colour of skin/race: It's a sad fact, racism is still rife. Some people will take an instant dislike to you purely because of the colour or your skin, the language you speak, or the country you come from, and things are not getting any better. Looking similar to someone else was another reason. Being very similar to a person that they already know and dislike will have your work cut-out especially if your trying get on with them.

Your gender: Unfortunately in this day an age, too many people are still homophobic. Some people said they hated those who were not just gay, but straight men who "act too gay," or "looked too gay". Religious Beliefs. Some people hate those who wear religious attire. From Burkas to veils which cover the face. How could someone feel hatred, or extreme dislike for someone without even conversing, or getting to really know them?

Video: Social Anxiety - Everyone Hates Me Syndrome

Additional reasons why people might dislike of you

I also asked: "If you had no bad feelings about someone you've just met, what would make you dislike them once you're engaged in conversation and are better acquainted"? Here's a sample of the answers they cited.

Bad breath and/or body odours were often mentioned. People whose mouth sprays out spittle when they talk. Others mentioned that they dislike some people, not so much for what they said, but 'how' they said it. Those who think they know everything - being better than everyone else. Negative and stressed-out people. The greedy, selfish and rude. The disrespectful and unreliable - always turning up late - time wasters were all mentioned as reasons to dislike or hate.

People's personal circumstances - mental health problems - disagreements arising from allegiance to different sports teams, political views and personal values were all cited as a cause for peoples hatred. Lastly, one said, I hate people that ask too many questions. That was my hint to leave. My work was done. The hatred of humans can be so severe, it leads them to commit murder, and probably, for some of the reasons mentioned here.

Video: Things That Make People Hate You

What can I do about it?

And without you ever meeting. You can try to persevere through outright prejudice in the hope that this barrier to friendship will overcome in time. Unfortunately, sometimes, with some people, there is little hope!.

What people like or dislike someone is an important part of our personality and character. Sometimes it could be one's natural 'aura' or 'chemistry' as to why they don't get along, or misunderstanding, not knowing, or trusting someone well enough.

You can please some of the people, but not everyone. We constantly encounter other people's judgment, prejudices, and jealously; let's not add our own into the mix.

Final thoughts

Radio presenter Nick Abbot says the following repeatedly on his shows - "Everyone hates everyone. If they don't dress like you, look like you, talk like you, or have different views than you, then you're not going to like them". The thing that surprised me about that comment which he repeats often was no-one who called into the show disagreed with him.

Daily social media posts from trolls on Facebook and Twitter are filled with hatred. By Google searching a "name" of any celebrity, and the word "hate" will you discover why people hate them.

Having said all this, the things that people dislikes about you, other will find charming and likeable. Those that hate you, there will be others who hate them, that's the funny side and reality of life. This should not make you feel bad or inferior to anyone else.

Having said that, no-ones perfect. We all have flaws, some more than others. But we can all change our ways, but only if we know what these flaws are. Having honest people around you who can explain in a constructive way, and without making you feel like your personalities being attacked will help.

People are like chalk and cheese, they don''t always go together no matter how hard you try.

Do you instinctively dislike people?. Why do you think people hate or dislike about you? What reasons could you give? Please share your views in the comments section to help others understand why people hate so much.

Do YOU judge people by their initial appearance?

See results

© 2012 Compu-Smart

Submit a Comment

  • profile image

    kitty 6 months ago

    I have people give me dirty looks or sneer at me even when just walking past. I've had people who are with me even comment on how most people give me dirty looks. I also have people take an instant dislike to me when meeting me. I am different. I look a little different I guess. I've been told by a Dr that I just have an aura about me that is confronting. I'm not an angry person or nasty. I smile, try to be friendly however after years of people not reacting positively towards me I have become self conscious and now feel awkward when I'm out. Funny enough I excel at sales work and public speaking. People respond to me differently in that situation and I have continually exceeded top records when working. I can't work it out but I can tell you I've tried everything to fit in and I just don't. It has really affected my self esteem. I'd rather not go out at all nowdays.

  • profile image

    Sanxuary 3 years ago

    You listed a lot of discriminatory reasons but there are a lot of other reasons. Social Status, Lack of Social Norms within a group, Personality Conflicts a big one, Personal Profile its self, Personal Beliefs, In cognitive predisposition of a person, I for example hate dishonest people and drama lovers I tend to stay a way from. You would think that these things would be hard to determine but its not to hard to figure out. Most of these things can be used in team building and are less negative when you recognize them. A people person can be a great sales person, just do not put to such people together or they will talk about work all day and get nothing done. If your boss is one and you our a numbers person you better be good at making your own plans to meet your job requirements. In most cases its not about hate but understanding yourself and others.

  • profile image

    3 years ago

    I hate people who hates me without reason :d

  • CraftytotheCore profile image

    CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

    This is such an interesting Hub and I love how you had the curiosity which resulted in writing this. There have been a few people that I have never met, but just at the sight of them I know I would not get along with them. I can't explain it. It's definitely my personality. I'm a quiet easy going person, but I'm also outgoing in certain areas.

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    Jack 4 years ago

    I cannot stand and to the point of hating girls, woman who have there hair in dreadlocks, it's so uncool and looks filthy and is probably filthy as they don't even wash it,,grrrrr

  • profile image

    fcuk_u_all 4 years ago

    i hate anyone who talks down to me. Who think they are better than me or anyone. i hate people who think they are the dogs bollocks, those people who think just because they have more money than others they are so great but guess what poor poor you. i hate it when forenhners come to my country and do not want to obey our laws. i hate you all and if i ever get the chance to smash your faces in i will.

  • profile image

    h8er 4 years ago

    I hate disrespectful, unreliable, untrustworthy, selfish, greedy, inconsiderate rude people.

    All the above costs NOTHING!!

  • profile image

    doctor lechi/leki 5 years ago

    i hate my patients who arrive late. I hate my patients who do not listen to my advice. i my hate patients who think they know better than me. i hate my patients who do not embrace chinese medicine and continue their western ways.

    Dr Lecki/Leki. Bedford hill practice, balham. London, sw12.

  • profile image

    Ann Omynus 5 years ago

    Why do people hate me? That WAS my previous and ignorant thoughts.

    My thoughts have now become obvious. they don't hate me at all, it's just pure jealousy.

  • profile image

    Ausseye 5 years ago

    Hi C Smart:

    I hope that we can get over our own individual shortcoming

    That drive our hate

    Good hub for thought and inspiration for better.

  • profile image

    litlestarr 5 years ago

    one thing that annoys me is someone that tells me their tragic life story in the 1st few minutes I meet them.

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    john 5 years ago

    I was at a party recently and a nice girl was paying me a lot of attention. Until, I revealed my star sign. Unfortunately it happened to be the same as her previous two boyfriends that ended badly.

    From that point on-wards, she closed up and I can only guess that she ignorant of the fact that I am an individual in my own right. The next morning I was pissed off about it but I eventually realised that she had a lot of problems that she hadn't addressed yet. Probably preferring to live in denial than face the issues that my star sign (in this case) would remind her of.

    I like the quote by Benjamin Disreali along the lines of

    Don't complain and don't make excuses. Your enemies won't believe you and your friend already understand.

    Sometimes not ending up with someone is a blessing,

    remembering that I'd rather be single than poorly matched.

    Enjoy the journey. . . .

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