Why Do People Hate Me? or Take an Instant Dislike to Me?
I was inspired to write this article after observing several incidents that caused me to wonder why people could be incredibly nasty, especially to people they didn't know.
On one occasion while travelling on a train, I overheard a gentleman say to his companion, "I can't stand her." Shortly afterwards he added, "I've never even met her". On another occasion, while travelling on a bus, the behaviour of two girls on the top deck astounded me. They were pointing and laughing out the window at any and everyone for unknown reasons. It upset me because those people are just strangers, someone's children, friend, grandparents. Why were they so mean? What was so funny?
Table of contents
- Why would people take an instant dislike to me?
- Why would people hate me without knowing me?
- Video: Social Anxiety - Everyone Hates Me Syndrome
- Additional reasons why people might dislike you.
- Video: Things That Make People Hate You.
- What can I do about it?
- Final thoughts.
Why would people take an instant dislike to me?
You may not realise or even believe that people can take an instant dislike to you just from your very first meeting and without even knowing you. How many times have you said, "I don't like the look of him?
After reading this handy guide. you'll wonder no more why someone may not like you - to learn to get over it and realise it's just a fact of life and sometimes, it's not personal.
There are numerous reasons including personal appearance, people's phobias. Some people will be incompatible with you which could relate to your star-sign or personality.
People can dislike you purely because of their phobias
The following phobias are a few of the hundreds relating to the fear of people and why they could fear you, not hate you.
- Alliumphobia: Fear of anything relating to garlic.
- Androphobia: fear of adult men.
- Gynophobia: fear of women
- Coulrophobia: Fear of the look of clowns.
- Peladophobia: Fear of bald people.
- Pogonophobia: Fear of people with beards.
- Xenophobia: Fear of strangers or foreigners.
- Sociophobia: Fear of people or society in general.
- All Phobias Listed at Wikipedia.
New research has suggested that a single glance of a 10th of a second is sufficient to form a reliable first impression. Not only whether we find someone attractive, but also, of their social and professional standing, and whether we believe them to be trusted or not.
Why would people hate me without knowing me? The reasons people gave why they didn't like, or hated certain people.
After a considerable amount of time and research, I studiously discovered why people may take an instant dislike to you. I accomplished this by asking everybody I did not know - random strangers I found in various online video chat-rooms. They were brutally honest with their answers to my question.
Here's what I asked them: What would make you instantly dislike or hate someone you've seen for the first time? A consensus of their answers appears below in no particular order. Each of the reasons cited was given at least once. Average ages were between 18 - 45.
I will not write the expletive, racist and homophobic obscenities which were said.
It was bizarre how such trivial things like the clothing someone chooses to wear and how they wear them. For example, guys wearing their jeans and trousers too low, exposing their briefs. Women with low-cut tops revealing too much fat, or clothing that reveals stretch marks on tummies were all reasons for peoples hate or severe dislike for someone. Having a weird haircut or having a challenging look. Facial piercings. Too much facial or body hair and the dislike for the rich were some reasons for people's hatred for another.
It's a sad fact that racism is still rife. Some people will take an instant dislike to you purely because of the colour or your skin, the accent or language you speak or the country you come from, and things are not getting any better.
Being very similar to a person that they already know and dislike will make it harder for you to be liked.
Your gender: Unfortunately in this day-an-age, far too many people are still homophobic. Some people said they hated those who were not just gay, but straight men who "act too gay," or "looked too gay". Religious Beliefs. Some people hate those who wear religious attire. From Burkas to veils which cover the face. How could someone feel hatred, or extreme dislike for someone without even conversing, or getting to know them?
Video: Social Anxiety - Everyone Hates Me Syndrome
Additional reasons why people might dislike you
I also asked: "If you had no bad feelings about someone you've just met, what would make you dislike them once you're engaged in conversation and are better acquainted"? Here's a sample of the answers they cited.
Bad breath and/or body odours were often mentioned. People whose mouth sprays out spittle when they talk. Others mentioned that they dislike some people, not so much for what they said, but 'how' they said it.
Those who think they know everything - those who feel they are better than everyone else. Negative and stressed-out people. The greedy, selfish and rude. The disrespectful and unreliable - always turning up late - time-wasters were all mentioned as reasons for someone's dislike or hatred of another.
People's circumstances, mental health problems and disagreements arising from allegiance to different sports teams, political views and personal values were all cited as a cause for peoples hatred. Lastly, one person said, "I hate people that ask too many questions". That was my hint to leave. My work was done. The hatred of humans can be so severe, it leads them to commit murder, and probably, for some of the reasons mentioned here.
Video: Things That Make People Hate You
What can I do about it?
You can try to persevere through outright prejudice in the hope that this barrier to friendship will overcome in time. Unfortunately, sometimes, with some people, there is little hope!.
What people like or dislike someone is an important part of our personality and character. Sometimes it could be one's natural 'aura' or 'chemistry' as to why they don't get along, or misunderstanding, not knowing, or trusting someone well enough.
You can please some of the people, but not everyone. We constantly encounter other people's judgement, prejudices, and jealously, let's not add our own into the mix.
Radio presenter Nick Abbot says the following repeatedly on his shows - "Everyone hates everyone. If they don't dress like you, look like you, talk like you, or have different views than you, then you're not going to like them". The thing that surprised me about that comment which he repeats often was no-one who called into the show disagreed with him.
Daily social media posts from trolls on Facebook and Twitter are filled with hatred. By Google searching a "name" of any celebrity, and the word "hate" will you discover why people hate them.
Having said all this, the things that people dislike about you, others will find charming and likeable. Those that hate you, others will love, that's the funny side and reality of life. This should not make you feel bad or inferior to anyone else.
Having said that, no-ones perfect. We all have flaws, some more than others. But we can all change our ways, but only if we know what these flaws are. Having honest people around you who can explain constructively, and without making you feel like your personalities being attacked will help.
People are like chalk and cheese, they don't always go together wit no matter how hard you try.
Do YOU instinctively dislike people?. Why do YOU think people hate or dislike you?
Please share your views in the comments section to help others understand why people hate so much.
Do YOU judge people by their initial appearance?
© 2012 Compu-Smart