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Why I Don't Want Children

Updated on September 8, 2017
Claire-louise profile image

Claire has been dealing with depression since the age of 14 and obtained a degree in psychology in order to help those suffering.

I am Not a Monster!

Being a woman, naturally means that as soon as you tell someone that you don't want children, they look at you as if you have just told them that you are in fact a serial murderer and you have bodies under your floorboards at home.

The look on people's faces is priceless, and I will be totally honest, it is mainly women who react badly to people telling them they don't want children. I don't know why, but I have never had any grief or even questions from a man when I have told them that I don't want kids, their response is usually "fair enough"

But women seem to act as if you have said you hate children, when I don't, in fact I much prefer kids to adults because kids are mostly honest and innocent! Not something you come across much in the adult world. But that doesn't mean I want to be responsible for one for the rest of my life!

The Puppy Double Standard

If I said to someone that I didn't want a puppy, because puppies are hard work, they require constant love and attention, are very expensive and high maintenance, they would tell me what a sensible decision I was making. But kids are all of those things and when I say I don't want one, apparently I am selfish.

Kids Need You to be Strong

I come from a big family, I have two brothers, two sisters, seven nieces and two nephews, so for most of my life, I have been surrounded by children, so I have always had children in my life, it's not like I have missed out on children. And they have all at one point told me how great being a parent is, in fact it was my eldest sister who told me I was selfish for not wanting kids.

Kids need you to be strong, and I have had mental health problems for a long time, and I don't know if I would be able to be strong enough for a child when I struggle to be strong for myself at times.

I am Good With Children!

People think that when you tell them you don't want children, you have the maternal instinct of a prairie dog and will be completely useless with kids. But in fact I am very good with children, I have changed nappies, fed, burped, tended to the scrapes and bruises and wiped away the tears. So you can honestly trust me to hold your baby, I won't eat it, I swear.

Pregnancy Doesn't Sound Like Fun!

The idea of being pregnant makes me want to run for the hills too! I have never known a woman have a good word to say about the actual pregnancy! All it seems to be is mood swings, morning sickness, anemia and low blood sugar! I know you get a tiny person at the end of it, but I still think I will pass on that.

I Hope Your Kids are Awesome!

Whether you want one child or 20 children, good luck to you, I hope they're all happy, healthy and brilliant. But please don't try to tell me I'm missing out, I'm living my life the way I want, you live your life the way you want. The fact that I don't want children doesn't make me a bad person, having kids you don't really want, does.


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    • Claire-louise profile imageAUTHOR

      Claire Raymond 

      18 months ago from UK

      Thanks Alyssa! It must be annoying to get asked stuff like "don't you want to give them a brother or sister?" I try to be the cool aunt, but they probably think I am a nerd!

    • Claire-louise profile imageAUTHOR

      Claire Raymond 

      18 months ago from UK

      Glenis, I am glad you aren't judgmental like a lot of women seem to be! I feel bad for those people too, it must be very hard to deal with, I am sorry for your sister, but at least she has seen the world which must be nice.

    • Glenis Rix profile image


      18 months ago from UK

      Well, I have two children and I don't care if other women don't want any. The world is over populated anyway. Children can be a mixed blessing. - they can bring happiness but also heartache. But I do feel sorry for those with a strong maternal instinct who are unable to produce a child. One of my sisters underwent fertility treatment for several years, without success. It has been a great sadness in her life. COn the positive side she has been financially much better placed than I and been able to travel the world.

    • Alyssa Nichol profile image


      18 months ago from Ohio

      Great article! I enjoyed it! I must say, pregnancy was not fun, and I often get similar reactions when people ask me when I'm having another child and I tell them I'm not. haha! Sounds like you get to be the awesome cool aunt that everyone adores! :)

    • Claire-louise profile imageAUTHOR

      Claire Raymond 

      18 months ago from UK

      Thanks Louise, I am glad not to be the only one. I think women with children take it quite personally!

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 

      18 months ago from Norfolk, England

      I see where you're coming from. I've never wanted kids either, and I've had a fair few funny looks from people too when I've told them this. Yes, usually women!


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