Why Oklahoma's Stupid is a Special Kind of Stupid
It's been a rough couple of months for the state of Oklahoma.
Things have been so bad, so comically bad, that neighboring Kansas, led by its education-hating governor Sam Brownback, has to be feeling pretty damn good about itself.
Wednesday night, Barack Obama became the first sitting U.S. president to visit a federal prison as he tries to push for a reform of America's shotty criminal system.
He did this in Oklahoma City, while protesters waved the flag of the Confederacy in their pathetic attempt to somehow teach him a lesson. You know, that lesson that black people are inferior to whites.
As Esquire's Charles Pierce so eloquently put it, "Oklahoma did not become a state until 19-freaking-07," which puts to bed that horribly delusional notion that the Confederate flag is a symbol of "heritage" and not one of pure hatred.
The sad thing is that this shouldn't surprise anyone with half a brain. Oklahoma has had a rough go of it lately, putting its stupid on the national scale and making it so darn easy for the rest of us.
Here's a recent timeline to show why Oklahoma's stupid is a special kind of stupid.
July- Idiots Wave Confederate Flag to Protest the President, Only to Remember That Oklahoma Didn't Become a State Until 1907.
It's quite funny actually. There they stood in all their glory, pathetically waving the flag of the old South to tell Obama that they didn't agree with him. And by not agreeing with him, I mean they didn't agree with the color of his skin.
The Civil War ended in 1865, 42 years before Oklahoma was admitted into the Union. Don't tell that to those nitwits though.
March- University of Oklahoma Frat Boy Gets Caught Leading Racist Chant on Bus
Who could forget Parker Rice, the OU frat boy boisterously leading a chant to show just how proud he was of his fraternity?
"There will never be a n***** in SAE.
There will never be a n***** in SAE.
You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me
There will never be a n***** in SAE."
Rice and another student were expelled for the racist chant, but language like that isn't learned overnight. Though the kid is originally from Texas, he's still representing OU, and that doesn't look good for the state.
February- Oklahoma GOP Votes to Ban AP U.S. History in Schools
The Oklahoma GOP does not stand for Tom Foolery, like teaching its students that blacks were once slaves and other horrible atrocities the U.S. committed in its early days as a nation.
So, the Oklahoma GOP took the old "we won't teach it," route. Ah, yes. That will show them.
Their reasoning behind the doltish decision was because it wasn't "pro-American enough."
Perhaps the college-educated (hopefully) folks of the Oklahoma GOP were educated enough to know that America has had some pretty dark days.
We slaughtered countless Native Americans and enslaved African-Americans until the end of the Civil War. Women weren't allowed to vote until the early 20th century, and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that gays could legally marry in any state they chose.
But acknowledging that America was once, and still is, filled with racist A-holes does not sit well with the Oklahoma GOP, therefore its teachers have to keep America the way it prefers it: lily white.
February- Oklahoma U.S. Senator James Inhofe Woefully Holds Up Snowball to Disprove Climate Change
Republican Senator James Inhofe just might be the stupidest member of the entire U.S. Congress.
If there was ever a doubt, there's a YouTube video showing the Oklahoma Senator hopelessly throwing a snowball on the Senate floor to prove to everyone once and for all that climate change is all hogwash.
Yes. He actually did this.
Even though 2014 was the hottest year on record, as was pretty much every year over the last decade, the world can't possibly be getting colder because there's still snow on the ground.
For crying out loud! It must be true!
The scary part is that Inhofe is the former Chairman and Ranking Member of the U.S. Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. The guy has some serious pull when it comes to the actions we take while trying to save the planet, but the planet doesn't need any saving in Inhofe's world, because snowballs still exist.
I know people who have lived in Oklahoma. They're not all this stupid, or stupid at all for that matter, but the state of Oklahoma is making it too easy for the rest of us.
It's free entertainment, really. Then again, you can't teach stupid, especially if it's an an Oklahoma textbook.