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Why Oklahoma's Stupid is a Special Kind of Stupid

Updated on July 17, 2015

It's been a rough couple of months for the state of Oklahoma.

Things have been so bad, so comically bad, that neighboring Kansas, led by its education-hating governor Sam Brownback, has to be feeling pretty damn good about itself.

Wednesday night, Barack Obama became the first sitting U.S. president to visit a federal prison as he tries to push for a reform of America's shotty criminal system.

He did this in Oklahoma City, while protesters waved the flag of the Confederacy in their pathetic attempt to somehow teach him a lesson. You know, that lesson that black people are inferior to whites.

As Esquire's Charles Pierce so eloquently put it, "Oklahoma did not become a state until 19-freaking-07," which puts to bed that horribly delusional notion that the Confederate flag is a symbol of "heritage" and not one of pure hatred.

The sad thing is that this shouldn't surprise anyone with half a brain. Oklahoma has had a rough go of it lately, putting its stupid on the national scale and making it so darn easy for the rest of us.

Here's a recent timeline to show why Oklahoma's stupid is a special kind of stupid.

July- Idiots Wave Confederate Flag to Protest the President, Only to Remember That Oklahoma Didn't Become a State Until 1907.

It's quite funny actually. There they stood in all their glory, pathetically waving the flag of the old South to tell Obama that they didn't agree with him. And by not agreeing with him, I mean they didn't agree with the color of his skin.

The Civil War ended in 1865, 42 years before Oklahoma was admitted into the Union. Don't tell that to those nitwits though.

March- University of Oklahoma Frat Boy Gets Caught Leading Racist Chant on Bus

Who could forget Parker Rice, the OU frat boy boisterously leading a chant to show just how proud he was of his fraternity?

"There will never be a n***** in SAE.
There will never be a n***** in SAE.
You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me
There will never be a n***** in SAE."

Rice and another student were expelled for the racist chant, but language like that isn't learned overnight. Though the kid is originally from Texas, he's still representing OU, and that doesn't look good for the state.

February- Oklahoma GOP Votes to Ban AP U.S. History in Schools

The Oklahoma GOP does not stand for Tom Foolery, like teaching its students that blacks were once slaves and other horrible atrocities the U.S. committed in its early days as a nation.

So, the Oklahoma GOP took the old "we won't teach it," route. Ah, yes. That will show them.

Their reasoning behind the doltish decision was because it wasn't "pro-American enough."

Perhaps the college-educated (hopefully) folks of the Oklahoma GOP were educated enough to know that America has had some pretty dark days.

We slaughtered countless Native Americans and enslaved African-Americans until the end of the Civil War. Women weren't allowed to vote until the early 20th century, and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that gays could legally marry in any state they chose.

But acknowledging that America was once, and still is, filled with racist A-holes does not sit well with the Oklahoma GOP, therefore its teachers have to keep America the way it prefers it: lily white.

February- Oklahoma U.S. Senator James Inhofe Woefully Holds Up Snowball to Disprove Climate Change

Republican Senator James Inhofe just might be the stupidest member of the entire U.S. Congress.

If there was ever a doubt, there's a YouTube video showing the Oklahoma Senator hopelessly throwing a snowball on the Senate floor to prove to everyone once and for all that climate change is all hogwash.

Yes. He actually did this.

Even though 2014 was the hottest year on record, as was pretty much every year over the last decade, the world can't possibly be getting colder because there's still snow on the ground.

For crying out loud! It must be true!

The scary part is that Inhofe is the former Chairman and Ranking Member of the U.S. Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. The guy has some serious pull when it comes to the actions we take while trying to save the planet, but the planet doesn't need any saving in Inhofe's world, because snowballs still exist.

I know people who have lived in Oklahoma. They're not all this stupid, or stupid at all for that matter, but the state of Oklahoma is making it too easy for the rest of us.

It's free entertainment, really. Then again, you can't teach stupid, especially if it's an an Oklahoma textbook.


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    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Well...that certainly is ample evidence of the superiority of every other state's inhabitants. Did you check all 57 states that the President visited in his campaign?

      Global warming? Cherry pick your "scientific" sources and you can claim the earth is flat. There is far too little unbiased data and research to know whether global warming is a fact.

      Snowballs in February? Pretty common occurrence in Oklahoma so I wouldn't try to draw any conclusions from that.

      Your comment about teachers trying to keep Oklahoma "lily white" is a much more presumptive statement than most intelligent people would be willing to make in public. My guess is that you don't actually know what most teachers want to do and you probably don't have a real concept of what the reason is for rejecting the AP history of which you speak. As far as the atrocities committed by early America towards the people who were enslaved, you do understand that many of the Africans sold to slave traders were sold by other Africans. Slavery was a terrible institution and I don't think you will find anyone anywhere who would argue about that.

      Frat boys have always been capable of doing stupid things. Did you check to see if he was an Oklahoman? Probably not.

      The Confederate flag? Oklahoma became a state in 1907 as you stated, however, Oklahoma was known as Indian Territory and Oklahoma Territory during the Civil War and fought with the South. So maybe there is a reason other than what you assumed for flying the Confederate flag.

      Obama's visit to the prison was a photo op. Oklahoma is the reddest state in the Union. Not one county of the 77 counties in Oklahoma was carried by Obama in the Presidential election. Given the state of our foreign policy and economy under this President, that might suggest that Oklahoman's are the smartest of all "57" states.

    • Steven Slivka profile imageAUTHOR

      Steven Slivka 

      3 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you for the feedback, guys. I appreciate it.

      It really is appalling just how uninformed one entire state can be. Obviously, Oklahoma isn't the only state that suffers from "the dumb," but I found it quite hilarious (and sad, really) that event after event after event kept happening in the Sooner State.

    • lyoness913 profile image

      Summer LeBlanc 

      3 years ago from H-Town

      It's not just Oklahoma that slays me, it's so many other Southern States. Urgh. The stupidity in this world is absolutely appalling.


    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Anthony Johnson 

      3 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      Harsh much? Nobody will remember what you said at the end because of everything that came before it!

      It was informative though and funny. Especially the thing about the confederate flag. It is odd that people in that state have the flag. but I am certain from US History that was taught in my Georgia high school that many Southerners went to Oklahoma giving it the Southern heritage that it touts. In fact, Oklahoma is where Native Americans were forced to relocate! The is a lot of bad blood in Oklahoma.

      I don't think they are stupid. They just have a different opinion. Okay, secretly I think they may be a little bit, you know... socially challenged!


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