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Why This Gay Is Worried For Obama

Updated on May 2, 2011


With all the states legalizing gay marriage recently and the ones that have agreed to at least acknowledge gay marriages from other states I can feel the collective gay energies bubbling to the surface waiting to see exactly what President Obama is going to do. True Obama has said that he is against gay marriage but he also ran on the ideas that he was going to abolish Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and he certainly made it known that he is not one of those fear based haters of gays (he even putting aside tickets for gay families at the White House Easter Egg roll – something Bush’s administration did not, would not do) but as states like Iowa, Maine and New Hampshire come on board with the idea that gay marriage is not going to destroy civilization and is part of our basic rights as citizens, gays who were once content to wait patiently for our President to make changes to help us become full citizens are now feeling the pressure and passing it along. I can only imagine what pressure that’s putting on Mr. Obama. Why this gay is worried for Obama – Don’t Get Me Started! 

Right now every gay activist wants me to shut up but those of you who read my blog know that I can’t help myself. I also can’t help but feel as though Obama is in a “damned if he does” “damned if he doesn’t” situation at the moment. All ready the White House has started meetings with gay leaders to try and start working on what they no doubt see coming their way sooner than expected. They’re going to have to take a stand and it’s going to alienate either the gays or the religious right.

I guess why I say that I’m “worried” about Obama (I certainly don’t think this man needs my sympathy or concern really) is that he has been handed a lot on his plate and frankly I have so much faith in him that I just feel in my heart he’ll do the right thing by us gays in his own time but much like this past week seeing Perez Hilton hitting below the collective gay belt by outing Marie Osmond’s daughter, I think Obama isn’t going to be given the opportunity to do what he needs to do in his own time. I come from a time before microwaves so I have a little more patience than many (even though it doesn’t show when I’m waiting in line at a bank or driving behind some moron going three miles per hour). So I’m concerned that under pressure from both lobbyist groups banging down his door, Obama is going to be forced to make a move that isn’t ready to be made for anyone.

I want the rights that married people have and after twenty years with the same man I deserve it. More importantly as I get older I have to think about the fact that there may come a time when my mate or I are incapacitated in a hospital bed and I don’t want anyone but us to be making decisions about or for us. You can’t know (unless of course you’ve been through it) what it’s like to have to make a life and death decision for a mate. My dearest friend in the world had to make that decision when her husband was dying (and while I was there holding her hand through it, even I don’t profess to know exactly what that feels like inside). I will tell you that the marriage certificate didn’t mean much in that case. Her husband’s family guilted her into making decisions she didn’t want to make until the final one had to be made and then they stepped back telling her it was her place to make the ultimate decision so that their consciences were clear (though how they sleep at night is beyond me). If there is family around these types of decisions will never be cut and dry (nor should they be, I guess) but the point is that legally she ultimately had the authority to make the decisions that needed to be made. If the same happened today (even though I have a wonderful relationship with my mate’s family) I would not legally have that right.

What the religious right just don’t seem to get is that this is not about them (And although they say they’re doing all this in the name of Jesus I think they’re doing it for themselves because they want everyone to think, believe and live like they do to make themselves feel better about themselves). I don’t give a crap if they want to get married and I don’t think they should give a crap if I want to either. I don’t want to recruit their children into gayness and I don’t think that teaching kids that there are gays out there are going to give them the idea that they should all be gay too. For as long as I’ve had any kind of thought in my head I was attracted to the same sex. The environment I grew up in nor the Fruit Loops I ate by the bowlful as a kid created this, it’s just who I am, part of me and I’m good with it. I don’t need the religious right’s acknowledgement or approval of me, I just need our lawmakers to uphold the constitution and do what’s legally right.

I’m sure that when Obama is forced to make a statement or push through legislation he will do it the same way he’s done everything else, with a cool head and class that we haven’t seen since Cary Grant in the movies. I just hope that he has time to do what’s right when the time is right. Why this gay is worried for Obama – Don’t Get Me Started! 

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 6 years ago from Las Vegas

      KevinJohn, I would be curious to know how old you are because I too don't have the need for shoes and rice but I do want to be treated equally under the law and I'm wondering if it's in part a generational thing.

      What I believe is that everyone (straight and gay) should have civil unions and register with the government as such to receive tax cuts, etc. and then we should let the religious leaders decide what they want to do regarding marriage ceremonies and whether or not they want to include gay couples. I frankly don't care what the religious folk do, I just want my government to recognize that the commitment my spouse and I have made to one another (and has now lasted 22 years) is just as valid as a straight couple and as such we should be entitled to the same rights.

    • profile image

      KevinJohn 6 years ago

      I'm gay and have no interest in marrying my boyfriend. I think it is a slap in the face to the institusion of marriage; we can't procreate.

      To equate my relationship with my boyfriend to that of a heterosexual couple who can bear children is wrong.

      I think there are enough laws in place that we (my boyfriend and I) will do just fine.

      It was my choice to live as a homosexual man.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 6 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thank you for your thoughts and for sharing them. If you'd like to read more of my thoughts please join me on my website!

    • Rod Marsden profile image

      Rod Marsden 6 years ago from Wollongong, NSW, Australia

      I wish you luck in getting married. The thing is that experiments have been tried in the past to eliminate Gay people or jail them for being Gay. The result? You end up with a portion of any population being treated like criminals, feeling like criminals and maybe in the end acting out against society. Does any of this create a sense of social stability for anyone including non-Gays? Nope. Not really.

      Can being cool with Gays marrying one another result in social stability for both Gays and non-Gays? I would say this to be the case. Its an experiment that began I suppose with Milk in the USA and the Gay Rights parade in Oz some time ago and is still continuing. Does it have a chance for success? I would say it has more of a chance than the alternative.

      GAY stands for Good As You. I suppose that might mean something. My thoughts at any rate.