How to Solve the Problem of Homelessness
Poverty is Very Inconvenient
I had the most awful experience the other day. I was with my two-year-old son and we were getting out of our car at the supermarket when a large man approached us asking for money and food. The man was horrifying. He was tall, bedraggled, and smelled like my son's diaper after I have forgotten to change it for 8 hours. His clothes were filthy. He hadn't shaved in forever and his beard seemed to contain remnants of various meals he had over the last week. I think there was a squirrel living in there.
After he asked a second time if I could spare any change or perhaps some food, I told him that I would taze him if he didn't get away from me immediately, though I was concerned my tazer wouldn't have any effect given how many layers of clothing he had on. My threat worked and my son and I were safe once again.
The issue of poor people, poverty, and homelessness really does raise some important issues in our society. Among the most important is: how do we get rid of these people and make things better for the rest of us? Let's face it: poor people are a menace. They drag down our economy. They take things that aren't theirs. They smell. They seem to exist solely because the welfare state allows them to. They eat food provided by the government. They live in shelters provided by the government. If they get sick, the government pays for them to get better. I bet we all wish we didn't have to pay for anything! What an easy life we would have.
Let's remember that just like gay people choose to be gay, so do poor people choose to be poor. If they don't want to be poor, then they should get jobs. And if they don't want to be homeless, then they should get a job and buy a house. I'm sure most people are just like me and they ask themselves the question when they see poor and homeless people: "Why can't that guy work?" Most of them look like they could work and there are tons of jobs. All you have to do is look in the newspaper or go online. Why, just the other day I saw McDonald's was hiring people. I'm sure there are poor people who could do some of those jobs, but I think they'd rather be poor than work. I think they'd rather stand on the corner and take hand-outs than earn an honest living.
If you are as concerned as me about the problem of poverty, there are definitely some things you can do to improve the issue in this country. First, encourage poor people to move. If you see a poor person or one tries to accost you for money, have a conversation with them in which you suggest they move to Canada or some other country where the poor can sit around all day and do nothing and wait for their government check, like England. Second, vote for candidates who will end all government subsidies for poor people. Medicaid is a huge government bail-out for poor people that allows them to get medical care for free. This is a ridiculous use of our tax dollars, particularly when companies like Exxon and Conoco-Phillips need those tax dollars to fund offshore drilling projects that could potentially lower the cost of gas.
The most troubling aspect of this whole episode is that it really tested my Christian beliefs. Although Jesus was committed to helping the poor, I don't think he ever had to stare death right in the face like I have nor did he have poor people coming up begging him for money or standing on the median holding up signs as he stopped his car next to them. And since Jesus never had a tazer, I don't think he ever had to make the decision to taze or not to taze and I'm sure had he felt so threatened, he might have decided that the tazer was best for his personal safety. The bottom line is that Jesus loves those that love themselves and those that are true to the human condition. Poor people shame Jesus by destroying the vessel that he gave them. We need to motivate them to improve not encourage them to keep taking.
Anyway, I think it must have been easier for Jesus to help the poor way back when. Nobody had anything. Now that we have stuff that the poor want, we have to fight tooth and nail to keep it. I'm also not sure what taxes they had to pay back then either, but I'm pretty sure if Jesus had to pay the kind of taxes I had to pay, he'd lose his mind. I'm sure Jesus would work hard for his money and would not want it taken away and given to the poor. I'm not really sure just how much of my taxes are given to the poor, but I want that money back.
So let's all band together and help the poor. Our society will be better for it.
[sat-ahyuh r] –noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. 2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule. 3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
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