Why isn't life more like Monty Python?
And now for something completely different...
What's your favorite color?
You get what you pay for.
Why isn't life more like Monty Python's Flying Circus? When a parrot is dead, you can't sell it. It's dead. Deceased. Has ceased to be.
When you buy a translation book for the country you're about to visit, how do you know that it's not a joke? You could be saying "I like to fondle young monkeys" or "Take me to your police, I just killed a man just to watch him bleed". You have to be careful, not buying translation books online (you don't really know that it's the real Coles, now do you?) or from street-corner salesmen.
When buying things online, you may be surprised to see that the size 10 dress you bought is size 10 in Thailand or China, not the USA or Canada (we're bigger!). You might be a little perplexed by that "Juggs" magazine that ends up being about iced tea containers.
When buying a used car, make sure to drive the heck out of it during your test drive. If the owner objects, walk away - there's a reason they don't want the car going that fast.
When buying prescription drugs online from those emails that fill your inbox, don't be too surprised if the cops show up at your door, or if you die from taking them - well, you won't be surprised, but your family might be.
When something is selling so cheap that you think it's a deal you can't say no to, say no.
You just really have to be careful, because you really do get what you pay for.
The biggest complex.
Money is rather complex; when you have too much you give lots away, mostly to politicians and anyone else who'll give you a tax receipt... but when you don't have enough you give to those less fortunate.
When I was in high school, the principle asked me if i had a drug problem. I said, "Yes, I don't have any!". He laughed. Try saying that today!
When I was working in Phoenix, at Luke AFB teaching pilots, instructors and maintenance crews how to use their new simulators, I was staying at one of the pilot's cottages, on Lake Havasu. He let me use all his water toys (speed boat, fishing boat, jet skis, etc) and they took me up in an F-16 Eagle. Nice, cool, scary and so, so fast. saw the Grand Canyon and it took about a minute. Now, that's one complex canyon. Could the air force fighter jet be the most complex thing going?
Mother Nature is the most complex thing going. Melt all of the Polar Ice Caps and the Ocean's levels should go up enough to cover both coasts of the USA and Canada, as well as the rest of the world. Many small countries would become scuba diving parks. But, just think of the job opportunities for lifeguards.
The biggest complex? Not having enough. Enough what? That's up to you.
Are you a safe driver?
Sometimes you see people that are in such a rush that they swerve in and out of lanes, trying to get into the fastest moving lane at the time. The problem arises when the lane just left becomes the faster one, and they have to try to force their way back in. Most of these people are about 5 feet tall and wear thick glasses, hats and usually are either reading, putting on makeup, playing with their pets or talking on their cell phones.
What happens when they aren't paying attention when they should be? Others pay, but these idiots are the fault of the accidents and end up with clean driving abstracts: just because you cause a lot of accidents is no reason to raise your insurance premiums, lose demerit points on your driver's license or, God forbid, get caught.My father was accident free, but he caused so many accidents it wasn't funny. He had his pilot's license 3 years before applying for his driver;s license in New Brunswick. They asked for ID, he showed his Air Force ID (pilot, Lancaster) and was just given his license, the clerks proclaiming that if he could fly a plane he could drive a car. Funny thing, he once landed on a highway in Nova Scotia, coming full circle, so to speak.
Are you a safe driver? Now, don't forget that that means not causing nor being involved in accidents and hit and runs. There are lots of people driving around out there who have never been in an accident, but have caused many by not paying attention to their surroundings.