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Why isn't life more like Monty Python?

Updated on January 27, 2012

And now for something completely different...

About 30 years ahead of their time, and still misunderstood.
About 30 years ahead of their time, and still misunderstood. | Source

What's your favorite color?

Money, money, money... money!
Money, money, money... money! | Source

You get what you pay for.

Why isn't life more like Monty Python's Flying Circus? When a parrot is dead, you can't sell it. It's dead. Deceased. Has ceased to be.

When you buy a translation book for the country you're about to visit, how do you know that it's not a joke? You could be saying "I like to fondle young monkeys" or "Take me to your police, I just killed a man just to watch him bleed". You have to be careful, not buying translation books online (you don't really know that it's the real Coles, now do you?) or from street-corner salesmen.

When buying things online, you may be surprised to see that the size 10 dress you bought is size 10 in Thailand or China, not the USA or Canada (we're bigger!). You might be a little perplexed by that "Juggs" magazine that ends up being about iced tea containers.

When buying a used car, make sure to drive the heck out of it during your test drive. If the owner objects, walk away - there's a reason they don't want the car going that fast.

When buying prescription drugs online from those emails that fill your inbox, don't be too surprised if the cops show up at your door, or if you die from taking them - well, you won't be surprised, but your family might be.

When something is selling so cheap that you think it's a deal you can't say no to, say no.

You just really have to be careful, because you really do get what you pay for.

The biggest complex.

Money is rather complex; when you have too much you give lots away, mostly to politicians and anyone else who'll give you a tax receipt... but when you don't have enough you give to those less fortunate.

When I was in high school, the principle asked me if i had a drug problem. I said, "Yes, I don't have any!". He laughed. Try saying that today!

When I was working in Phoenix, at Luke AFB teaching pilots, instructors and maintenance crews how to use their new simulators, I was staying at one of the pilot's cottages, on Lake Havasu. He let me use all his water toys (speed boat, fishing boat, jet skis, etc) and they took me up in an F-16 Eagle. Nice, cool, scary and so, so fast. saw the Grand Canyon and it took about a minute. Now, that's one complex canyon. Could the air force fighter jet be the most complex thing going?

Mother Nature is the most complex thing going. Melt all of the Polar Ice Caps and the Ocean's levels should go up enough to cover both coasts of the USA and Canada, as well as the rest of the world. Many small countries would become scuba diving parks. But, just think of the job opportunities for lifeguards.

The biggest complex? Not having enough. Enough what? That's up to you.

Insured?

Sometimes people just wait too long to follow the rules.
Sometimes people just wait too long to follow the rules. | Source

Are you a safe driver?

Sometimes you see people that are in such a rush that they swerve in and out of lanes, trying to get into the fastest moving lane at the time. The problem arises when the lane just left becomes the faster one, and they have to try to force their way back in. Most of these people are about 5 feet tall and wear thick glasses, hats and usually are either reading, putting on makeup, playing with their pets or talking on their cell phones.

What happens when they aren't paying attention when they should be? Others pay, but these idiots are the fault of the accidents and end up with clean driving abstracts: just because you cause a lot of accidents is no reason to raise your insurance premiums, lose demerit points on your driver's license or, God forbid, get caught.My father was accident free, but he caused so many accidents it wasn't funny. He had his pilot's license 3 years before applying for his driver;s license in New Brunswick. They asked for ID, he showed his Air Force ID (pilot, Lancaster) and was just given his license, the clerks proclaiming that if he could fly a plane he could drive a car. Funny thing, he once landed on a highway in Nova Scotia, coming full circle, so to speak.

Are you a safe driver? Now, don't forget that that means not causing nor being involved in accidents and hit and runs. There are lots of people driving around out there who have never been in an accident, but have caused many by not paying attention to their surroundings.

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    • Marc Babineau profile image
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      Marc Babineau 5 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Thanks, Richard! It's how i vent, and this time of year there is sooo very much to vent about!

    • Richard Sirota profile image

      Richard Sirota 5 years ago from Allentown, PA.

      Don't get me started about other drivers. Very funny stuff!

    • Marc Babineau profile image
      Author

      Marc Babineau 5 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Uhm, thanks?

    • profile image

      Nigel Lewis-Davidson 5 years ago

      Marc Don't we all do these things at some time. Oh! and by the way did you go to art school my 4 year old granddaughter has a similar style lol ;-)

    • Marc Babineau profile image
      Author

      Marc Babineau 5 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      You don't mean the dreaded "Australian swallow" do you? (laughing as the bridge guard gets thrown into the void).

      i had many a ride in the Lancaster and Hercules growing up (a lot of "penny flights" too), my pops was a pilot in the RCAF for 28 years, over 10,000 hours in the air. In Phoenix, as a tech writer teaching training courses, the pilots at Luke AFB took me up in an F-16E, and an F-111 - wowsers! Saw the Grand Canyon flash by in less than a minute.

      Have you ever been to Alert? we were there for 3 months straight one year (Herc pilots had to move around a lot back then, they had "their own" planes...)

      Thanks for dropping by, John!

    • profile image

      John McDevitt 5 years ago

      And beware the driver arguing with his passengers about swallows. Good show Marc.

      I almost got a ride (on the ground) on an alert B-52 but my squad leader showed up and invited me into his truck while the flight crew moved the plane to the other end of the alert area without me (wind shifted). Ah well.

    • Marc Babineau profile image
      Author

      Marc Babineau 5 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Just trying my best to infuse some humor into a rather humorless society... Thanks, Red!

    • Ann Marie Dwyer profile image

      Ann Marie Dwyer 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

      You truly do get what you pay for...especially when it is free!

      Thanks for this. I needed the thought-provoking laugh.

      Red.

    • Marc Babineau profile image
      Author

      Marc Babineau 5 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Thanks! At least my name isn't Bruce...

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Hilarious! I am a BIG Monty Python fan.. I loved the part about selling a dead parrot.. lol. Your father was a hamster. :)