Mothers of Large Families Are The Fiercest and Strongest Critics of Childfree Women and Women With Small Families!
Why Mothers of Large Families Believe That Childfree Women and Women of Small Families are Venal and Selfish
Due to the immense advancements in contraception, women have more reproductive freedom than over. The concept of having small families and/or no children at all is coming more of an option for many women. Women who elect to be child free or have small families have more freedom to pursue careers and outside interests. Furthermore, women who have small families have more financial and emotional resources to devote to their child/children.
Sociological and psychological studies confirm that women who are either child free or have small families are the least stress free and the happiest. Of course because the former has alone time and the latter, in addition to devoting more time to her child/children also have alone time also. Women who are child free.or have small families have plenty of disposable income to live beyond mere existence level. Women who are child free or have small families often have the time and the income to indulge in various cultural and intellectual hobbies. An overwhelming majority of the women I knew who attend college and/or continuing their education either are child free and/or have small families.,
Sadly, there are critics who claim that any woman who has the audacity to be child free is hedonistic and selfish. These critics strongly assert that every woman should have children because a woman is not complete if she does not have children. Even though it is explained that women can lead fulfilling and creative lives without children, it falls on these critics' dead ears.
The strongest and worst critics of women who are child free or have small families tend to be mothers of large families. They are of the opinion that child free women are abnormal and satanic for not wanting to have children. I remember one mother of ten telling her friend that all women should have large families. She further elucidated that women who do not have a lot of children hate children and are selfish. She saw no reason why women should not have children, adding that she felt sorry for them.
Mothers of large families also have an intense animus against women who have small families. According to them, women who have small families are leading a very self-indulgent and extravagant lifestyle. Mothers of large families who are struggling and living at a mere survival level have no concept that people want to live better. Oh no, to these mothers of large families, women with small families are deemed selfish because they want to provide a good life for themselves and for their children.
It is the contention of mothers who have large families that every woman should live the same lifestyle as they do. They are the ones who proselytize other women to have children and severely criticize them if other women disagree with them. If you have seen the blogs on large families, these women are very vitriolic in their criticism of women who are either childfree or have a small family.
On one of the blogs, one mother who had a very large brood stated she did not know why any woman would elect to have a small family when there are so many "joys" in having a large family. This same woman went on a tirade, saying that women who have small families are doing their children a disservice. However, on these very same blogs, these women remarked being mentally overwhelmed with their brood. Yes, these are the exact same women who complain to anyone within ear's shot of how stressful their lives are and how difficult it is to make ends meet. Advice to these women: Think and plan before you leap. Don't do the crime if you cannot do the time. Having children is more than giving birth, you have to financially and emotionally provide for your children.
Let me not digress from this issue. It seems to me that many women who have large families have an underlying jealousy of women who are child free and/or have a small families because they have more financial and personal options in life. Women who are child free and have small families are not overwhelmed with and/or stressed out by their children as women who have large families are. Women who are child free or have small families are equal contributors to their families as they tend to have careers. Child free women and women who have small families have more time to spend with their husbands and have more time for enhance and nurture their marital relationships. Husbands of women who are child free or have small families are more on an equal paring with their wives. Furthermore, they are not as overburdened financially and psychologically than husbands of wives who have large families.
Furthermore, not every woman is maternal. There are many women who do not like children. There is nothing wrong with this. There is no law mandating that every woman should like children and be a mother. In fact, there are many mothers who are not motherhood material. Many women become mothers because they are pressured to do so by parents, relatives, religious doctrine, and friends. Furthermore, many women succumb to the dictum that they are selfish if they elect not to have children. Unfortunately, there is still an underlying mandate that woman=mother and many women become mothers much to their regret.
In conclusion, not every woman is cut out to be or wishes to be a mother even though the underlying societal message is motherhood above all. Many women elect to be child free because of the freedom to indulge their lives as they see fit. Many women believe that children would interfere with their freedom and wish to live their lives as unencumbered as possible.
Women who elect to have small families do so because of more time to devote to themselves and to their children. Women with small families have more time to devote to their careers and other outside interests without feeling that they are slighting their children. Women who are child free or have small families tend to have careers so they do not overburden their husbands and have more time to enhance their marital relationships. They are also on an equal paring with their husbands.
However, there are many critics of women who elect the child free or small family lifestyle. The strongest and worst critics of the child free and small family lifestyle tend to be mothers of large families. Mothers of large families, on average, believe that everyone should love children and have a large family. They further contend that any woman who does not wish to have large families to be abhorrent and selfish. These mothers believe that because they are struggling constantly to stay above water, they find it strange that there are women who wish to live a freer and more affluent lifestyle that being child free or having a small family provides. Many mothers of large families have a subconscious, underlying jealousy of child free women and mothers of small families because the latter have easier and less unencumbered lives than they do.
© 2011 Grace Marguerite Williams