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Would Hitler have liked Jersey Shore?

Updated on April 23, 2011

I don't think so.

The Jersey Shore is a show that I gather is about four or five (or six...) marginally interesting beach aficionados who refer to themselves as "guidos". I was raised never to call people by racial slurs when they are around, and found this self tagging a bit odd at first. Now I've never actually watched the show, but I have played a little Super Mario in my day, so lets just say I know a little something about Italians.

On the News one fine evening I found the esteemed Analysts discussing the cultural effect this monstrously popular show may have on America. The word, "Juice head" was used, naturally assumed by me to be one who appreciates the finer qualities of fruit juices, frozen concentrates and such. In the context however this was perplexing as there was no footage of people drinking juice, discussing the various merits of cranapple vs Orange or anything of the like. A short clip was shown of what appeared to be a squat, tanned demi-human of, perhaps mutated pygmy extraction crossed with an orangutan. This is apparently a young woman named Snooker.

Naturally the question occured to me; "What would Hitler think of all this?" I contemplated the question for minutes, simultaneously flipping through a well read copy of Cat Fancy. I twirled my imaginary mustache. That is not to say I don't have a mustache. I do. But I was thinking of a different one. A more luxurious mustache.

Anyway, from what I understand Hitler was more of a Wagnerian Opera fan, so I decided he probably wouldn't have liked Snooker and her friend Abs Pistachio. I think he would have thought it was a Jewish conspiracy. I think he thought most things were Jewish conspiracies.


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