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Could be a ~S T O N E R ....

Updated on March 27, 2013

..... when watching the news on TV you eventually yell - "legalize it ya dumb dick."

Greetings, greetings, this is Leaf~ thanks for passin by, or passin it along.

Hope my joke eBook finds you well and stoned and well and stoned and well and stoned. And if yo not sure yo a stoner ;~) or as I call it, your 'stoner-briety :

Could be a stoner ....

..... when in an Amsterdam coffee shop (lucky bastard) you yell - "Hey, somebody got their Strawberry cough mixed with my Train Wreck Kush!"

.....when you seriously consider, on a Sunday, calling the Post Office to have them get your DVD out of the mail box - because you forgot how the movie ended.

.... when you get out of the shower and find your towel is already wet - from the shower you had thirty minutes ago.

....when you realize that the song you were listening to - ended ten minutes ago, or so.

....when you tell a friend a joke - that he told you as he was rolling the joint you'all finished.

....when you wait for the stop sign to turn green.

....when you wonder why, after several times, you can't lite you lighter in your mouth - with your bowl.

.... when you try to say something - but your tongue won't move right.

.... when you put sentences together like 'X' president Dick Bush.

.... when you walk somewhere - then feel like you've been gone for days.


The Devil Test

~Three guys die in a car crash and go to hell. Devil asked them all a question.

To the first he asked "what was your biggest sin on earth sinner?"

The man replied "Oh man I just love booze and getin drunk, and maybe I beat the wife a bit know and then."

So the Devil showed the man a room full of booze of every type and description. The man, bug-eyed, ran inside.

"See you in 100 years," the devil told him, and closed and locked the door.

To the second man he asked the same question, and the man replied "oh I love havin sex with babes. I was really unfaithful to my many, many wives".

So the Devil took the sinner to a room full of thousands of H O T naked women sooooo hony for him. The guys was instantly 'randy,' his eyes were in the room before his body.

Devil said "see you in 100 years," and locked his door.

The third man's answer, a stoner, was , "man, l don't know why I'm here, like,

I just LOVE the weed! It's my sacrament and I never hurt anybody.

The devil, seemed to ignore him and showed the stoner to a room packed with the most amazing strains of exotic buds he's ever seen, stacked to the roof and glistening with resinous buds! The stoner whistled and skipped into the room like a child.

Devil said, "see you in 100 years" then slammed the door.

.........100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out.

Devil opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around, puke all over him. He was a mess.

Devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "I'M GAY! I'M GAY!"

Finally the devil came to the stoner's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the buds was the stoner, and a women from another room was next to him, with seven or eight children running around. "Hey horned dude, sup," the stoner said happily "thank you so much for everything, love you man." The Devil couldn't handle this, said, "you don't belong here," and slammed the door disgusted.

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    • johnwindbell profile image
      Author

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      thanks for stopin by and passen it, OJ. hope this finds you well and stoned. Raw will save your life.

    • profile image

      Originally Juvenile 7 years ago

      ...you are laughing so hard at a joke you are trying to tell that your brain feels like it is in spasm (like too much wasabi)...

    • johnwindbell profile image
      Author

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      Well, dear stoner,did you like my video, or what?

    • profile image

      www.WeedShack.com 7 years ago

      Advertising on http://www.WeedShack.com is only $25 Bucks! Hello, did you hear me? I said Only $25 Dollars to advertise your Medical Marijuana business or services on the #1 Medical Marijuana Industry Directory – http://www.WeedShack.com!

    • lxxy profile image

      lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      Currently I'm borrowing a low end Pansasonic; I used to use a Panasonic camera (haha, no relation--I swear!) although I do want to get a Flip MinoHD and/or sunglasses with a camcorder inside. ;)

      Checking out the page. ;D

    • johnwindbell profile image
      Author

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      Hey thanks. Check back here then, I'm doing a video for this page as well as my www.stonerflixreview.com page.

      What kind of camera did you use? A Flip?

    • lxxy profile image

      lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      Haha...oh man...I plead the fifth.. ;D

    • johnwindbell profile image
      Author

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      Like, thanks, (blush)...my salon is called Amazon, I do find some comfort when I wear it, maybe cuz it is the real me.....underneath. And if I lived in CO more of the real me would bloom.

    • profile image

      herbandmedicine 7 years ago

      John,that is one cool photo,and it looks so much like the real you.Where did you get it done?Was it some salon with the latest in European styles... it's so vogue and so you.

      What a sexy stoner.

    • johnwindbell profile image
      Author

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      Have you thought of any I missed. Have you thought of ....oh, I said that already!

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