Great question. One we all need to look at because we often think we have forgiven but continue to act out in passive aggressive ways. However, I think the there is a broader question which is what do I do when I have been hurt, wounded, insulted, violated? I think this question is both fitting for myself as an individual as well as for us collectively as a community or a nation.
I have never known of an example where "good" or life came from revenge. The old cowboy movies and current terrorism are good examples. Revenge brings about another round of revenge. It never stops.
Yet, it is true that we have a need inside of us to have others honor our integrity and when they violate us, we are going to have an almost innate reaction to retaliate. BUT we, as humans, have a prefrontal lobe, so we have choices when it comes to responding to violation. We can move beyond getting even to a bigger issue of what is going to bring about healing for myself as well as healing for the one who violated me. People who are healthy and filled with life do not violate other people. They violate because of some violation to themselves.
It doesn't take rocket science to figure that out. There's an old saying, I can be part of the solution or part of the problem. IT IS A CHOICE.