My Rant On Careless Driving

Perhaps I'm getting older. Maybe I'm just getting wiser. Hopefully it's a little of one and a whole lot of the other. Whatever it may be, more and more often, careless driving, texting while driving, poor cell phone etiquette and tailgating is really getting on my last nerve.

This is my open letter to all of you out there who feel you are just a little more important that the rest of us when you get behind the wheel of your automobile. Please try not to let it bother you as much as your inconsiderate behavior bothers me, OK?

How are you doing today? I suppose one advantage of you being so close to me is that I don't have to speak very loudly for you to hear me. But really I prefer to yell at your inconsiderate and dangerous behavior. First I would like to say:

GET OUT OF MY SPACE!

You see, when I can no longer see your headlights in my rear view mirror, you have crossed too far into my space. does it bother you when someone is talking to you and they stand far too close and invade your space?

Apparently not, because when you are tailgating me you refuse to remove yourself from my space. Speeding up a little does no good, you are like velcro on my bumper. And slowing down? Now you think you are entitled to get angry with me. Perhaps I shouldn't feel that little bit of smugness while I observe your irritation at me when I'm actually obeying the speed limit, but I just can't help myself.

But Mr. Tailgater I have to tell you, the best part is yet to come and I get a good laugh out of the deal. You see, when the road opens from one lane to two and you swoop off to the right of me, your foot jammed down on the accelerator for two seconds, then immediately on the brake because while yes, you did pass me, in fact you blew my doors off; but here's the thing, in your mind you "raced" me, you really showed me up for twenty, maybe twenty five yards and now we are both sitting at THE SAME STOP LIGHT. I don't understand why you don't see the ridiculousness of this scenario.

But, okay. I give, you win. You are victorious and I'm the loser.

But I always get a good laugh, because I really believe you are in your car, feeling ridiculously full of yourself because within your mind you truly are Ricky Bobby at that moment, yelling back at me: "If you're not first, you're last."

I am so happy I made your day. In fact, I bet you feel just like Ricky in this poster, don't you?

Will Ferrell
Allposters.com

This poll is anonymous, so be honest. You also don't have to be a member of Squidoo, so please vote.

You are pretty. No, actually you are beautiful. And that's okay, I don't mind acknowledging that. Genetics has earned you the right to hear such lavish praise about your beauty. I am downright tickled and happy for you to be so blessed. I also get it that in your world, presentation is everything. Unlike some of us who run out the door to take the kids to school with our hair a mess, mascara smudges under our eyes wearing sweatpants and a nightshirt, you must enter the world each day picture perfect. That's fine too.

But honey, please take a little advice. That oblong shiny object that is placed on the inside of your windshield is NOT in fact a make-up mirror, It is designed to observe the traffic behind you and should never be twisted to the left towards your pretty little face while your car is in motion.

Woman Driving Car, Adjusting Mirror, Applying Make-up,

and Talking on Cell Phone with Multiple Arms

Plus a word of caution. All that beauty will be gone in a heartbeat if that mascara wand impales itself through your eyeball due to the accident you cause while applying a second or third coat of mascara.

Now I know you need your beauty sleep more than the rest of us, but for safety's sake for both yourself and the rest of the world, please try to figure it out so that you have your make up complete before leaving the house.

While genetics has earned you the right for praise, it has not made you so important that our lives have less meaning than yours.

You know who you are. It's become an obsession. And now that you have a smart phone, an Iphone or a phone that can be dubbed a Super Phone that is capable of performing a veritable host of super feats, you are indeed a threat to mankind.

Not only are you viscously texting while driving with an intense preoccupied madness, you are also keeping up on Facebook, Twitter and shooting off emails in between. All while driving or at least a close facsimile of driving.

Now please understand this Serial Texter, I am all about multi tasking and am often attempting several tasks at one time. Sometimes even successfully, but never, ever am I selfish and foolish enough to drive my car while multi tasking. I have enough close calls with fools like you on the road and this is while I'm paying attention to what I'm doing. Can you imagine what would happen if we BOTH weren't paying attention?

I kind of resent the fact that you expect me to watch the road for BOTH of us and I don't even know you. I do know what you look like though. Well kind of, because your face is always looking down while frantically texting so it is difficult to get a good look. It's also easy to confuse you with a drunk driver because your vehicle wanders a bit, first to the center line, then on over to the shoulder. You also have difficulty maintaining a consistent speed much like a drunk driver. Sadly they are under the influence and are a threat to society themselves; you, however, are selfish and inconsiderate of human life.

Skull and Crossbones Surrounded by the Words

"Death Here" marking fatal car accident

Yes, inconsiderate of human life. Take for example the 16 year old boy who died in 2010 while sitting in a parked car on the shoulder of a road. He lost his life because of the inconsiderate disregard of a serial texter....just like you.

Then there was the eighteen year old who admitted he was speeding and texting when he hit and killed a 2 year old boy. One more serial texter.... just like you. The only difference between you and these serial texters mentioned here is you haven't killed anyone.....yet.

While you are arrogantly telling yourself right now that this would never happen to you, just for one self involved second please consider the fact the these serial texters as well as all serial texters feel the same way, even right before they mow down an unsuspecting victim.

This poll is anonymous, so feel free to be honest. You also don't have to be a member of Squidoo to participate.

Hi there. You know who you are. Okay, maybe you don't, so please take a moment and see if you can recognize yourself here.

That cell phone is jambed between your ear and shoulder so tightly it would appear that your phone is struggling to escape and you have it locked in a death grip to hold it captive. Meanwhile you are driving down the expressway oblivious to the rest of the world. How do I know this? Well the first clue is that one minute you are driving 45 MPH which honestly is quite dangerous when others are traveling at the speed limit of 65 MPH. While you are motoring along with your head and shoulder twisted at this painfully odd angle, your other hand is gesturing wildly and frantically about making the casual observer ponder who might actually be steering the car.

This causes me to pass you while saying a prayer for you and the rest of the worlds safety. Next thing I know, here you come at 75 MPH aiming straight for my bumper, veering left or right in the nick of time while that spare hand is flailing wildly speaking in it's own language and yes, you still have the death clutch on your cell phone.

Before we both know it, this whole senseless erratic behavior repeats itself until either you or I reach our destination and exit the expressway allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief. And you? Well I suppose the only thing you are aware of is the person you are speaking with on your cell phone while gesturing in the air like an idiot as if they can see you.

I think we both know you aren't aware of your careless driving as well as your rude and inconsiderate behavior. Well I pray you won't end up like the poor fool in to poster below.

Driving off Cliff

This poll is anonymous, so please feel free to be honest. You also don't have to be a member of Squidoo to participate.

According to the US Department of Transportation, here are some startling statistics on the hazards of driving while distracted.

Research on distracted driving reveals some surprising facts:

*20 percent of injury crashes in 2009 involved reports of distracted driving. (NHTSA).

*Of those killed in distracted-driving-related crashes, 995 involved reports of a cell phone as a distraction (18% of fatalities in distraction-related crashes). (NHTSA)

*In 2009, 5,474 people were killed in U.S. roadways and an estimated additional 448,000 were injured in motor vehicle crashes that were reported to have involved distracted driving. (FARS and GES)

*The age group with the greatest proportion of distracted drivers was the under-20 age group - 16 percent of all drivers younger than 20 involved in fatal crashes were reported to have been distracted while driving. (NHTSA)

*Drivers who use hand-held devices are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. (Source: Insurance Institute for Highway Safety)

*Using a cell phone use while driving, whether it's hand-held or hands-free, delays a driver's reactions as much as having a blood alcohol concentration at the legal limit of .08 percent. (Source: University of Utah)