ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Forced Marriage - Commentary and Poem

Updated on April 8, 2018
Gloriousconfusion profile image

I started writing poetry as a child. I write performance poetry, observational, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious human rights issues

The Concept of Arranged Marriage is Different from that of a Forced Marriage

I learned first-hand about the anxiety and fear that women undergo at the prospect of being pressured into an arranged marriage unwillingly when this was explained to me by an Asian friend who was living with me at the time. She was born in England, a graduate, middle-class and with no trace of a foreign accent - in every way a lively, happy-go-lucky and normal Londoner.

But her father was very insistent that she should not marry out of their religion and, although she was quite open to this, even suggesting her parents introduce her to an appropriate prospective husband, her modern view was that she wanted to marry for love and that she would want to marry someone as modern as her, and not someone with traditional religious views.

Although not especially religious himself, her father would only introduce her to very traditional suitors, and, as she was being pernickety, he wanted to send her off to their family in Asia . One of her friends had been sent off to Asia and her passport withheld from her, to make sure she stayed there, and consequently my friend was so worried that she took her passport and left home, to prevent the same thing happening to her.

She ended up not trusting her own parents, and somewhat estranged from her father. To avoid the relationship difficulties, she left England and ended up abroad, cutting her ties to escape her family's influence. She loved her father, and this was not a desirable outcome, but she felt she had no option.


Exerpt from Hansard Report - The Awful Statistics on Forced Marriage

(Hansard is the official British Parliamentary Report and Record of Parliamentary Proceedings)

Forced Marriage

"The Government's Forced Marriage Unit (a joint Home Office and FCO Unit, established in 2005) deals with a significant number of forced marriage cases every year. In 2008, the unit began keeping more detailed statistics on all reportings of forced marriage that were referred to the FMU......

During the whole of 2008 the unit received reports of over 1,600 possible forced marriage cases."

The Secretary of State for the Home Department was asked what funding that Department is providing for specialist support for organisations dealing with forced marriage in 2009-10.

6 May 2009 : Column 283W:

"Mr. Alan Campbell: Following a successful pilot in 2008 the joint Home Office/Foreign and Commonwealth Office Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) has allocated £84,000 to its Domestic Programme fund for 2009-10. Specialist organisations will shortly be invited to apply for funds for project activities which support delivery of the FMU's 2009 and 2010 action plan. The Unit also separately funds support and awareness raising activity overseas, including in Pakistan, India and Bangladesh.

"The Home Office has also allocated a total of £3.5 million to the nine Government offices for the regions and the Welsh Assembly for 2009-10 to support initiatives to tackle domestic violence. A number of regions have chosen to allocate specific funding to local initiatives tackling forced marriage in their areas.

"The unit intervened to provide direct support in 420 cases. Of these cases 213 were assistance cases where interventions were made overseas, and 207 were reluctant sponsor cases where immigration support was given."

Houses of Parliament - London


Below is My Poem "Blood on Their Hands"

It is a Vilanelle, an unusual and old form of poetry

Blood on Their Hands

Do not reveal your abject fear

Forced marriage cannot be the way

Stand and fight, stand solid here

Protect the rights you hold most dear

Your life is short, your marriage long

Do not reveal your abject fear

If need be, run away and hide

Demand that only you decide

Stand and fight, stand solid here

Your parents may think they know best

But never put it to the test

Do not reveal your abject fear

Speak out to those who bully you

But get some help along the way

Stand and fight, stand solid here

I do not want to see you killed

And honour is no virtue

Do not reveal your abject fear

Stand and fight, stand solid here.

© Diana Grant 12th February 2008

Women are not Commodities

they are thinking human beings

who should be valued

and treated with respect

Some YouTube Videos on Forced Marriage

Marital Love - Taliban and Yemeni Style - Just don't try to escape!

I was so incensed by this Reuters 2011 news item that I just had to put it in here, and a further Daily Mail article dated September 10th 2013

Do You Believe Women Should Have a Choice in Their Long-Term Destiny?

Then Get Out There and Say So!


-Change Perpetrators' Attitudes by Persuasion

- Rise Up and Protest!

- Join with Other Like-Minded People

- Form a Group to Stamp Out Forced Marriage

- Get Police Protection

- Help those you know are victims

- Create More Safe Places and Refuges for Threatened Victims

What Do you think About Arranged Marriage? - Does it Work?

Arranged marriages take place in many cultures and many people think that families have more judgment and are better at choosing a spouse for their children than their youthful and inexperienced children are themselves.

If you have had an arranged marriage, arranged a marriage for someone else, or know someone in an arranged marriage, tell us what your experience is.

Is an Arranged Marriage a Good Thing?

See results

Stoned to Death for Adultery - Are You Aware That Women Get Stoned to Death for Adultery in Some Countries?

Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani was sentenced to death by stoning in Iran in 2010. Due to international outcry the sentence was not carried out, but she is still under a death sentence for complicity in her husband's death.

Are You aware that even in 2018 women can still get stoned to death for adultery In some barbaric countries? Not only that, but if a woman gets raped, in some countries she would be punished for adultery, whilst the rapist gets off far more leniently. The punishment might be anything from gang rape actually ordered by the local court (as in parts of India) to stoning, 100 lashes, or being cut off without a penny, to beg in the streets.

Here are Some Links to News Stories About Forced Marriage and Stoning for Adultery

Read the stories below, and, if you can, join a rally, sign a petition, or publicize them in the best way you can. Shaming governments is the only way to stop this horrific cruelty and disrespect for life and women's human rights.

Links to Other Relevant Articles - Forced Marriage, Domestic Violence and "Honour" killings

There are a number of useful links for those seeking help or information - these are just a few of them.

For more information on Karma Nirvana visit

For advice on

forced marriages and


phone the helpline on

0800 599 9247.

And what do you think about arranged marriages as opposed to forced marriage - do they work?

© 2010 Diana Grant

Please Leave a Comment Here - Is Enough Being Done to Free Women From Forced Marriage?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Gloriousconfusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Grant 

      5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks - That's what's needed - can't think why we haven't put our minds to this years ago.

    • colorfulone profile image

      Susie Lehto 

      5 years ago from Minnesota

      Tough topic to read about, but this is a powerful message.

      Sharing this article around the world!

    • Gloriousconfusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Grant 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      @ecogranny: Many of us feel strongly about this subject, and I am delighted by your support. It's hard to change entrenched traditional attitudes, and the best way is to educate the younger generation to believe in justice and fair play, and to exert political pressure on governments to change their ways. That's why petitions and publicity are so important.

    • ecogranny profile image

      Kathryn Grace 

      6 years ago from San Francisco

      Enough will not be done to free women from forced marriage until every woman is free to make all her own choices about her life and her body. Until then, as some wise person somewhere once said, none of us is free.

      As for arranged marriages, I personally have very little first-hand knowledge. One woman I know has refused every suitor her parents in India have encouraged her to accept, remaining single and working here in the states, living alone, for many years.

      I have read a number of books, both fiction and non-fiction, dealing with the subject of forced marriage and the ways women are entrapped once married, with no personal rights whatsoever. Some husbands have pimped their wives to other men. Many wives have endured horrific sexual assaults and beatings.

      I know some of the story of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani. In fact I blogged about it myself, and called on my readers to sign the petition asking for leniency and clemency. I understand her daily life remains a horror and that her son continues to strive for her freedom.

      I have also witnessed videos of women being stoned for such offenses as having been raped and therefore having sullied their families' honor. And I remember all too well the public beheading, televised worldwide in the 70s or 80s of the woman clad in a cheery blue burka in, I believe it was, Saudi Arabia. Her crime, apparently, was adultery.

      Only today, a woman in our country drove herself and her three children into the ocean in an attempt to kill them. It was reported that she was fleeing an abusive husband who beat her and perhaps her children. One assumes, because this is the so-called Land of the Free, that she freely chose her husband, but clearly she does not feel free to escape the bondage of her marriage, except to take her own life and the lives of her children.

      The horror of such stories never bites with less sting, no matter how many times I hear them or read of them.

      Until every woman on the planet is free, none of us is free.

      Thank you for educating us, and thank you for the courage it took for you to go to work every day, perhaps still does. May you be blessed a thousand-fold.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      What a truly amazing and fascinating lens about an abhorrent practice! Well done!

    • Heidi Vincent profile image

      Heidi Vincent 

      6 years ago from GRENADA

      Women really do suffer a lot of abuses. Too many in this day and age. I pray that our societies all over the world may respect our women and girls. Thanks for raising awareness, Gloriousconfusion!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      @LisaDH: Awesome article, I am a big fan of this website, keep on posting that great content, and I'll be a regular visitor for a long time...looking for the next one....keep it up!!!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This is an interesting lens full of useful information. I thought forced marriage doesn't exist anymore.

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 

      7 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      It is hard for me to imagine such a thing as a forced marriage so I appreciate this eye opening read.

    • Frischy profile image


      7 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      I agree there is a difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage. It is not the same thing.

      The attitude toward women is a frightening thing to me. A woman born in the US and married to a man from Syria told me she feared for her adult daughters who were born and raised in the US. Her husband expressed a desire to kill them because they choose to live in their own apartment as single women, go out on dates with men and refuse to let him choose their husbands. He said if they were in Syria they would already be dead.

      I cannot comprehend having this attitude toward one's child! I feel sick thinking about it. This is just one family, but there are so many women and girls in this situation. It gives me tremendous sorrow. I think we should provide amnesty to each one! How can we allow this to continue?

    • Gloriousconfusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Grant 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      @LisaDH: Yes, there's a big difference

    • Gloriousconfusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Grant 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Michey LM: Thanks for blessings

    • profile image

      Michey LM 

      7 years ago

      Very important topic, everything which is forced is not good, healthy relation, and so on. It is amusing that in 21st Century we have some form of barbarism... Great resource to open eyes and minds. Blessings!

    • LisaDH profile image


      7 years ago

      Being a Westerner, I always thought the idea of an arranged marriage was repugnant. But after visiting India and meeting some people who made me see things differently, I think it can work for some people, but not if it's a FORCED marriage. There's a definite difference. In the US, we often trust friends or family to "arrange" dates with others they think would be compatible with us. That type of "arrangement" can work anywhere in the world But forcing someone to marry another person they don't love, like or even know is wrong.

    • Gloriousconfusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Grant 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      @anonymous: It has been in the news a lot recently in the UK, and there is talk of Parliament bringing in new laws to punish the perpetrators of forced marriage with imprisonment, on the basis that it is a form of slavery

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      7 years ago from Canada

      It would be nice if one could wave a magic wand and make all the injustice in our world go away. Unfortunately it won't so writing articles and increasing public awareness is still our best method.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank for a lens on a subject that makes me really, really angry. I care not for those who say this is cultural reletavism. Forced marriage, institutionally condoned rape and stoning are all unacceptable, and those countries who are able to intervene to prevent such horrors will win my support to do so. This is more important than "cultural sensitivity" or "sovereignty".

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Thank you, that is a beautiful poem that says it all.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Thanks for opening my eyes to this issue. More people need to know about this issue and the effect it is having on women's lives all over the world.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I didn't know much about forced marriages before visiting your lens. What a horrible thing! Good job explaining this issue.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      You are a natural and creative poet, poems seem to come like a gracious flow. Beautiful lens depicting the need of consent in marriage.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Wow. Thank you for bring a very important topic to light. As a woman I feel the pain of every other woman when they have to do things that are not of their own will. Good Job!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      The concept of forced or even arranged marriages are so far out of my worldview that I really can't even imagine what it would be like. And I can't imagine anyone forcing their daughter to marry someone.

    • LizMac60 profile image

      Liz Mackay 

      9 years ago from United Kingdom

      Very good lens on an important topic with far reaching effects on many women.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I don't believe this is a case of relative values being simply different. A woman's right to choose her partner is a fundamental human right that transcends local traditions and any urge to socially engineer marital status.

    • sheriangell profile image


      9 years ago

      Great job! No arranged marriages don't work

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      A very important topic. Whilst customs and traditions vary i feel that the right of woman or man for that matter to choose who they marry is a fundamental human right, and that this right trumps any societal need to 'engineer' wedlock.

    • vitar profile image


      9 years ago

      Awesome lens!Keep it up!

      Please stop by and check my lens Funny Wedding Cake Toppers.


    • norma-holt profile image


      10 years ago

      This is a beautiful thought provoking and important lens on a necessary subject. *-*Blessed*-* and featured on Sprinkled with Stardust


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)