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JUSTICE....! Is there any left?
The Pain Of No Justice
25------ to ------life....... 25.-------- to....------life......????
Then a BANG!. l am numb.! l feel my brothers strong arms around me , guiding, half lifting me off the ground through crowds of people. Just noise and pushing and shouting all at once. l´m numb. 25 --- life is all l can hear in my mind.
The bang was only the Judge banging his gavel on his desk. As if l care! It could just as well have been a bomb going off, What do l care,.? 25----- life is all l can think of. What does it mean? Does it mean whichever comes 1st.? He´ll be in jail for 25 years , unless he dies before that. That´s his life gone?.
Does it mean after 25 years they look at his case again and maybe keep him longer, maybe for life.?This ´´thing ´´ l cannot bring myself to call "a man".. human, a person, not even an animal... insulting to our beautiful creatures all over the globe.´´´
"ÍT" is only 35 years old plus 25 equals 60. That´s not old. Still young enough to re-- offend .l expect his relatives would throw a party for his release, and he could spend his old age in comfort. Protected by his family, like our little one should have been protected..........
l feel my brothers arm tighten around me as l am bundled into a car with all this noise still going on around me,. What on earth? Is the President in town ? What do they want, these crowds?. l can´t hear myself think..........
As our drive takes us out of town my brother loosens his grip and holds my hand, smoothing it, trying to comfort me.... l look up and recognise that look on his face that our dad used to have., a tight -faced, "l will not show any emotion" kind of look but anger beneath was always obvious. My brother has this look now, just like dad, he´s angry, but he´ll say nothing.
O dear, l know nothing of the law.... 25 ---- to ----life ringing in my ears again. Maybe after 25 years he´ll be released under that idiotic expression ´good behaviour´´!!!!! What does a monster know about ´good behaviour?´
l fear the very idea of ÍT´being released when he´s 60 years old. What if l saw the great ugly brute in the street?. l think l´d be terrified.
My second fear is worse, What would I do? l´ll have had 25 years to let the numbness l feel now turn to coldness to plot a revenge that is always best served cold. If l needed help, there´d be a queue...
Is that what l want? Revenge. l think l want justice, but how is it possible? What can justice do i.e. the courtrooms, the Law, the Government, to equal the most horrible crime imaginable.?
Aaaaaah, l see we are well out of town , nearing my brothers´house. Quiet, sanctuary,. It´s for the best , he said ., when l had wanted to stay in my own home.
Harry(my husband) won´t cope if you have people coming around even if they mean well. l knew he was right and some of the people didn't even mean well. Just curious, nosey, . Yes my brothers house , out of town was best for a while.
He helped me out of the car still with dads´angry but controlled look on his face ,walked to the door and turned the key,.....inside, safe, warm, my husband , a broken man sitting near the window. Still as white/grey as the day it happened. His sister, and my brothers´wife taking care of him. The courtroom would have killed him, or if he had the strength of his younger years , my husband would have killed ÍT´
Our family doctor has been. He´s left some trauma pills and some milder sedatives for me if l need them Need them? l still need to know what 25..... to... --- life means.. No l don´t . ! l want him DEAD!!! Gone !!! He takes up space on the planet that could be put to better use by planting a tree.!!!!!! Kill him! Kill!.
Oh! Dim What happened to forgive and forget? FORGET! Are you mad? My sister-in law insists on giving me tea and a tablet, even though l am numb , still, numb. What do l need a tranquiliser for. ? If l was any calmer l´d be dead.
As the tablet starts to work and everyone is speaking quietly, gently, lest we break something, the óld me´begins to surface, just a little. Forget! NEVER!. Forgive.....? l would need an enormous amount of the Lords´help to reason that , for as long as l don´t forgive, l am carrying a heavy sack of potatoes on my back.. Forgive, and l´d lose that weight, only then could l possibly try to move forward with my life. What life? l´m thinking as l drift slowly to the calm place the medication is sending me, . What life, Harry has let the light go out of his eyes. l doubt it will ever return,
Someone help me please, ,...... l drift into sleep......