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JUSTICE....! Is there any left?

Updated on May 21, 2014

The Pain Of No Justice

25------ to ------life....... 25.-------- to....------life......????

Then a BANG!. l am numb.! l feel my brothers strong arms around me , guiding, half lifting me off the ground through crowds of people. Just noise and pushing and shouting all at once. l´m numb. 25 --- life is all l can hear in my mind.

The bang was only the Judge banging his gavel on his desk. As if l care! It could just as well have been a bomb going off, What do l care,.? 25----- life is all l can think of. What does it mean? Does it mean whichever comes 1st.? He´ll be in jail for 25 years , unless he dies before that. That´s his life gone?.

Does it mean after 25 years they look at his case again and maybe keep him longer, maybe for life.?This ´´thing ´´ l cannot bring myself to call "a man".. human, a person, not even an animal... insulting to our beautiful creatures all over the globe.´´´

"ÍT" is only 35 years old plus 25 equals 60. That´s not old. Still young enough to re-- offend .l expect his relatives would throw a party for his release, and he could spend his old age in comfort. Protected by his family, like our little one should have been protected..........

l feel my brothers arm tighten around me as l am bundled into a car with all this noise still going on around me,. What on earth? Is the President in town ? What do they want, these crowds?. l can´t hear myself think..........

As our drive takes us out of town my brother loosens his grip and holds my hand, smoothing it, trying to comfort me.... l look up and recognise that look on his face that our dad used to have., a tight -faced, "l will not show any emotion" kind of look but anger beneath was always obvious. My brother has this look now, just like dad, he´s angry, but he´ll say nothing.

O dear, l know nothing of the law.... 25 ---- to ----life ringing in my ears again. Maybe after 25 years he´ll be released under that idiotic expression ´good behaviour´´!!!!! What does a monster know about ´good behaviour?´

l fear the very idea of ÍT´being released when he´s 60 years old. What if l saw the great ugly brute in the street?. l think l´d be terrified.

My second fear is worse, What would I do? l´ll have had 25 years to let the numbness l feel now turn to coldness to plot a revenge that is always best served cold. If l needed help, there´d be a queue...

Is that what l want? Revenge. l think l want justice, but how is it possible? What can justice do i.e. the courtrooms, the Law, the Government, to equal the most horrible crime imaginable.?

Aaaaaah, l see we are well out of town , nearing my brothers´house. Quiet, sanctuary,. It´s for the best , he said ., when l had wanted to stay in my own home.

Harry(my husband) won´t cope if you have people coming around even if they mean well. l knew he was right and some of the people didn't even mean well. Just curious, nosey, . Yes my brothers house , out of town was best for a while.

He helped me out of the car still with dads´angry but controlled look on his face ,walked to the door and turned the key,.....inside, safe, warm, my husband , a broken man sitting near the window. Still as white/grey as the day it happened. His sister, and my brothers´wife taking care of him. The courtroom would have killed him, or if he had the strength of his younger years , my husband would have killed ÍT´

Our family doctor has been. He´s left some trauma pills and some milder sedatives for me if l need them Need them? l still need to know what 25..... to... --- life means.. No l don´t . ! l want him DEAD!!! Gone !!! He takes up space on the planet that could be put to better use by planting a tree.!!!!!! Kill him! Kill!.

Oh! Dim What happened to forgive and forget? FORGET! Are you mad? My sister-in law insists on giving me tea and a tablet, even though l am numb , still, numb. What do l need a tranquiliser for. ? If l was any calmer l´d be dead.

As the tablet starts to work and everyone is speaking quietly, gently, lest we break something, the óld me´begins to surface, just a little. Forget! NEVER!. Forgive.....? l would need an enormous amount of the Lords´help to reason that , for as long as l don´t forgive, l am carrying a heavy sack of potatoes on my back.. Forgive, and l´d lose that weight, only then could l possibly try to move forward with my life. What life? l´m thinking as l drift slowly to the calm place the medication is sending me, . What life, Harry has let the light go out of his eyes. l doubt it will ever return,

My brother keeps the anger inside but showing on his face to all who know him or knew our dad, and l , l just keep repeating 25... life....It spins around my head, 25.--- to life..

Someone help me please, ,...... l drift into sleep......


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  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

    High praise from such great writer as yourself.

    Thank you very much.

    Take care, Dim

  • profile image

    SilverGenes 5 years ago

    Oh Dim! This is powerful and gripping from beginning to end. Justice does not seem to have a place in our world anymore and this writing made that point very, very well.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you for riding by, my favourite vietman vet,....Take care.

  • Micky Dee profile image

    Micky Dee 6 years ago

    Incredible dear Dim. Incredible! Thank you darling Dim.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you for a beautiful comment.

  • Alladream74 profile image

    Victor Mavedzenge 6 years ago from Oakland, California

    Very very moving.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thanks RunAbstract.

    God bless you too.

  • RunAbstract profile image

    RunAbstract 6 years ago from USA

    Dear Dim Flaxenwick, my heart is on your side.

    No other words will come now... except God bless.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    thank you, sir, for reading.

  • alzel127 profile image

    Alex Zelahy 6 years ago from Indiana

    thank you for a good blog

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thanks Sunnie, much heartache too.

    Life goes on . We can only make the best of each day we are blessed with.

    Take care,

    Dim x

  • profile image

    Sunnie Day 6 years ago

    Great Hub Dim with much heart!

    Sunnie

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you very much.

  • d.william profile image

    d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south

    A wonderful hub. You certainly captured the emotions and thoughts of everyone who has ever been through a trial in which the perpetrator has done some horrible and dastardly deed and only gets 25 ---- life! Very moving. Well done.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Good for you. l wish you well...

    Thank you for reading and leaving your comment.

  • mariefromsf profile image

    mariefromsf 6 years ago from San Francisco

    I am sad to hear your story. I am contemplating becoming an attorney just so I can fight the injustice of the legal system. So many innocent, mainly poor kids unfairly locked up. We have to fight back.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Glad you approved of it. Always love to see you on my page.

    Take care. x

  • epigramman profile image

    epigramman 6 years ago

    .....always very rewarding and satisfying to receive a cornucopia of comments at my hub today - from someone whom I admire so much as a writer and fellow esteemed colleague and hubber - and this very provocative and stirring piece just reveals that oh so talented side of you!

  • Teylina profile image

    Teylina 6 years ago

    Too often--I think that's what hit me so hard about it. I've seen enough to know you had to have some experience that gave that poem its emotion and depth. Again, I am sorry you didn't receive the justice your family deserved, but terribly glad the horror wasn't worse--deserving of a stronger sentence. Your feelings will probably never go away, and you shouldn't expect them to. You just learn to keep on going--hopefully without bitter, but with a new perspective on life.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Hi Teylina. i´m so grateul you came back to my page.

    It´s very hard to understand why the system can be soft on one thing and harsh on another when to any sensible person it should be the other way around.

    The other sad thing is that what l wrote as a story actually happens to some poor families.

  • Teylina profile image

    Teylina 6 years ago

    I can now relax. I've unfortunately been personally exposed to both sides of the prosecution--a dear friend's sister and my 'step'-but-still-grandson. Sentencing: not enough and too much ("an example"). But nothing should go unpunished. A system that chooses not to prosecute when there's cause is unfathomable to me. Anger? I think you have a right to any attacks of anger, frustration, etc. you may feel the rest of your life. I'm truly glad to know your son is all right; but my hunch was right--there was too much in your hub to believe there was nothing behind it. I'm so sorry. True justice is, I believe, almost nonexistent in this world.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Hi Peggcole.,

    It was a story. ! relax, but sadly based on an incident with my son that could have resulted in his death , yet no charges were brought, which made me think of the injustce and how much worse it could have been.

    l´m glad you felt l captured the sense of emotion.. l occassionlly still get angry.

    love and hugs,

    Dim x 25 --to--life would have seemed fair, if they´d prosecuted.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Teylina,

    , your comment is high `praise for my hub and l thank you very much for it. . sadly it ws based on a family incident, but one that was caught in time before it could become the tradegy i potrayed.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you Eiddwen. l´m glad you enjoy reading my work as l do yours.

    Take care, Dim x

  • PegCole17 profile image

    Peg Cole 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

    The title grabbed my attention immediately and held it steadily through the story. You've captured the essense of the emotion with your words. I'm hopeful this is just a story and not reality. Peg

  • Teylina profile image

    Teylina 6 years ago

    Maggie-May said it: potent it is. Must say your photo at end as a slight shock--looked so much like my son ('cept his hair is longer). Worked in criminal law for years enough to determine 'justice' is not the correct word for the system. Have heard these words over and over, but never with the shock and realism you invoked. Hope it was just 'clever'!!

  • Eiddwen profile image

    Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

    A great and very clever hub Dim.

    I also vote up all the way and here's to many more hubs to share.

    Take care

    Eiddwen.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image
    Author

    Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

    Hello Maggie-May.. Thank you for reading and voting úp´.

  • Maggie-May profile image

    Nadine M AuCoin 6 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

    These words are potent! Very powerful! Voted way up!

    Feeling,

    MM

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