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Lonely?

Updated on September 9, 2013

Feeling Lonely? Come Visit and Share Advice

I came up with the idea for this page when someone commented that their lens (a web page here on Squidoo) was 'lonely'. And suddenly I thought of all the lonely people and lonely lenses and wanted to do something for both of them. So the topic of this page is loneliness, which comes in many forms.

If you've ever been lonely, stop by. It's a place to give advice and seek advice and connect with others. I hope by the time you leave this page you may feel a tiny bit less alone.

You're Only Lonely

I feel this song and video show that people often feel lonely. It is nothing to be ashamed of and we can all use someone to show us some kindness from time to time. Hope this makes you feel just a tiny bit less lonely

Ideas for Understanding, Healing Loneliness

I chose books about loneliness that all have the feature where you can "look inside" them now. When I feel down, I am usually desperate for something to bring me up, give me a bit of hope, right NOW. So follow these links and check out the books below and see if any of them looks like it is right for you. I hope they are.

The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness to God
The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness to God

Whether through the death of a loved one, divorce or estrangement in a marriage, or by being a single person in a world of couples and families, loneliness eventually comes to us all. Elisabeth Elliot lost her first husband to murder in the South American jungle and her second to the ravages of cancer. She has felt the deep pain of loss. In The Path of Loneliness, Elliot gives hope to the lonely through tender reflections on God's love for us and his plans to bless us. She tackles this difficult topic with grace and faith, showing readers how to make peace with loneliness and grow through it.

 
Lonely: A Memoir
Lonely: A Memoir

Despite having a demanding job, good friends, and a supportive family, Emily White spent many of her evenings and weekends alone at home, trying to understand why she felt so disconnected from everyone. To keep up the faÃade of an active social life and to hide the painful truth, the successful young lawyer often lied to those around her—and to herself. She was suffering from severe loneliness.

 
Positive Solitude : A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment
Positive Solitude : A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment

Being happy alone is an essential life skill that psychologist Rae André calls positive solitude. Here is an intelligent response to the loneliness, loss of community, and desperate relationships that have become so much a part of our times. This holistic approach explains how to avoid the traps of loneliness while learning to face the challenges of living alone. Positive Solitude is a clear, practical guide for those who are newly alone or unhappy alone, and an affirmation for those who have long enjoyed their solitude.

 
Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child
Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child

To be honest, this book sounded kind of like psycho-babble to me, BUT... the customer reviews included several people who said the book had really helped them. That they had only read it at the urging of a friend or relative. So, again -- see if it strikes a chord with you.

 
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection

This is more a study of lonelines and not so much a self-help book. It's available both in paperback and on the Kindle.

 

Best Advice I've Heard for Helping Loneliness

What works for me is the concept of going and helping someone else. This can be a small kindness that you pay someone, or a large one.

I work at home by myself a lot and when I feel lonely and need a "quick fix", I go to one of the forums I participate on and look for someone who has posted asking a question, or having a problem they need advice for, or simply looking for some encouragement. I really put some thought into my reply, try to make the advice or reply specific to their situation and useful.

That's it. And you know what? It DOES matter to people. I've had people send me private messages later saying that of all the responses they got mine stood out and made their day. And you know what? That makes ME feel less lonely.

Now, there are many much more significant ways you can help people out. You can volunteer at a daycare facility, or a nursing home. Go visit at the hospital. Or simply call your grandma or grandpa or someone you know who can't get out much. Just say you were thinking of them and wanted to see how they were doing. Sometimes it isn't about giving advice as much as being sure to LISTEN to people. You can do that. Go on..... give it a try.

So that's my best advice for how to stop feeling so lonely. Next up is other people's chance to add theirs.

Only the Lonely - A beautiful song about loneliness

Loneliness Can Be Overwhelming - Don't let it overwhelm you. Here is some help.

All of us feel a little lonely from time to time. The feeling can come even when surrounded by others. In fact some of the strongest feelings of loneliness can come from being in a big group and feeling that you don't belong.

Tired of Being Alone?

I hope this video might make you feel a little less lonely about being alone. It did for me.

You'll connect with your readers. If you type a sentence here about why you love this video.

Share your thoughts on loneliness. Do you feel lonely now? Do you have something you do, or someone you see who always makes you feel less lonely. Speak up, right now....

Feeling Lonely? - Do you have advice for people feeling lonely?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Embrace the loneliness instead of trying to find someone else to fill it. It has to come from within. Find things that maybe doesn't relate to work at all. Find some hobbies that make you happy. It can be the soul searching journey. Write it down and slowly you will realize what you love to do. You will become happier and you will want to share those moments with other people. That is when people will be drawn to you.

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      A beautiful thought and a wonderful gesture. God bless and have a wonderful day.

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      aishu19 6 years ago

      Thanks for this lens..Well yea being at home all day certainly makes me lonely from time to time. I like some of your advises. Would remember them next time. And thanks for an opportunity to post our lonely lenses