- Politics and Social Issues
Fixing global warming
1. So long trash; have a nice orbit!
Enormous garbage dumps, dangerous radioactive materials, mile long garbage trails in the ocean-yuck! If only there were a better place to put all of this trash AND help the environment in the process. According to some analysts, we may be able to put all of that rubbish in outer space and not burn any fossil fuels in the process.
2. The Solution
A Giant Sling Shot Launches Trash Out of the Atmosphere
By constructing a giant rubber band between two mountain tops, a big machine could load a garbage ball (approximately 200 feet in diameter and 3 tons) into the giant sling. Then another big machine would pull back the sling shot about 600 yards and then poof! The giant trash ball is sent hurling towards outer space.
Each country could set up their own supersized sling shot to lob trash balls like jump shots towards Saturn's rings. Once the process is perfected (about 3 months) we can work on making it possible for townships and individual families to toss their own trash into space. There could be some type of big contraption on a homeowner's roof and then they load up there own sling shot-we could call them "Power Slingers."
3. There's No Way That Could Happen-Right?
My brother and I are both analysts and we have painstakingly gone over every possible situation that could affect this project. Over the course of this article, we will go into all of the concerns and potential issues. If you are pessimistic about this initiative, I guarantee you will be a believer when you are done reading.
What If Criminals Hurl Evidence Into Outer Space?
Great question. The solution is simple; everyone that has access to a Power Slinger or the supersized sling shot will have to sign a waiver promising not to use the device for illegal activities. Problem solved.
What about planes and helicopters?
Won't they be hit by all those flying trash balls?
Another fine question. A German scientist has gone on record stating that a 3 ton trash ball traveling at speeds of 17,500 miles per hour could significantly damage, possibly pulverize just about any sized aircraft. To prevent this from happening is simple. Every plane or helicopter will be forced to carry anti-S.A.M (surface to air missiles) to shoot down trash balls before they hit the plane. For example, a United plane is on the way Chicago and a resident from Illinois happens to launch his garbage into space. Once the plane's radar picks up the trash ball, it will automatically fire a missile to intercept the trash ball. Problem solved.
But What About The Satellites?
It is possible that the trash balls could hit satellites, which is why any trash ball over 200 feet in diameter will be equipped with a solar powered remote control device that will be controlled from Earth. If the trash ball comes close to a satellite, the operator simply moves the joystick around and the collision will easily be avoided. Problem solved.
Positive Impacts Of Trash Balls In Space
1. No trash on Earth will significantly reduce pollution.
2. Job creation-We will need companies to make this giant sling shots and Power Slingers. Not to mention the heavy machinery needed to move these trash balls around. Missile manufacturers will be very busy making and installing those anti-SAM missiles to all of the planes.
3. Great acoustics. Although not proven yet, it is believed that the slingshots will produce a very pleasing B. O. I. N. G. sound.
4. End world hunger. Let's be honest; with all of the trash rockets flying through the air, many birds will be caught in the crossfire. The government would make a rule that any citizen that finds a dead bird will have to gut and harvest the meat. The meat can be consumed by that person or they can donate the bird meat to food banks. Bye Bye world hunger.