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Fixing global warming

Updated on October 26, 2013

1. So long trash; have a nice orbit!

Enormous garbage dumps, dangerous radioactive materials, mile long garbage trails in the ocean-yuck! If only there were a better place to put all of this trash AND help the environment in the process. According to some analysts, we may be able to put all of that rubbish in outer space and not burn any fossil fuels in the process.

B-O-I-N-G
B-O-I-N-G

2. The Solution

A Giant Sling Shot Launches Trash Out of the Atmosphere

By constructing a giant rubber band between two mountain tops, a big machine could load a garbage ball (approximately 200 feet in diameter and 3 tons) into the giant sling. Then another big machine would pull back the sling shot about 600 yards and then poof! The giant trash ball is sent hurling towards outer space.

Each country could set up their own supersized sling shot to lob trash balls like jump shots towards Saturn's rings. Once the process is perfected (about 3 months) we can work on making it possible for townships and individual families to toss their own trash into space. There could be some type of big contraption on a homeowner's roof and then they load up there own sling shot-we could call them "Power Slingers."

3. There's No Way That Could Happen-Right?

Think again

My brother and I are both analysts and we have painstakingly gone over every possible situation that could affect this project. Over the course of this article, we will go into all of the concerns and potential issues. If you are pessimistic about this initiative, I guarantee you will be a believer when you are done reading.

What If Criminals Hurl Evidence Into Outer Space?

Great question. The solution is simple; everyone that has access to a Power Slinger or the supersized sling shot will have to sign a waiver promising not to use the device for illegal activities. Problem solved.

This is your captain speaking.  Slight turbulence you feel was just a missile.  On the right side of the plane you can see the explosion in T minus 3 seconds
This is your captain speaking. Slight turbulence you feel was just a missile. On the right side of the plane you can see the explosion in T minus 3 seconds

What about planes and helicopters?

Won't they be hit by all those flying trash balls?

Another fine question. A German scientist has gone on record stating that a 3 ton trash ball traveling at speeds of 17,500 miles per hour could significantly damage, possibly pulverize just about any sized aircraft. To prevent this from happening is simple. Every plane or helicopter will be forced to carry anti-S.A.M (surface to air missiles) to shoot down trash balls before they hit the plane. For example, a United plane is on the way Chicago and a resident from Illinois happens to launch his garbage into space. Once the plane's radar picks up the trash ball, it will automatically fire a missile to intercept the trash ball. Problem solved.

But What About The Satellites?

It is possible that the trash balls could hit satellites, which is why any trash ball over 200 feet in diameter will be equipped with a solar powered remote control device that will be controlled from Earth. If the trash ball comes close to a satellite, the operator simply moves the joystick around and the collision will easily be avoided. Problem solved.

Positive Impacts Of Trash Balls In Space

1. No trash on Earth will significantly reduce pollution.

2. Job creation-We will need companies to make this giant sling shots and Power Slingers. Not to mention the heavy machinery needed to move these trash balls around. Missile manufacturers will be very busy making and installing those anti-SAM missiles to all of the planes.

3. Great acoustics. Although not proven yet, it is believed that the slingshots will produce a very pleasing B. O. I. N. G. sound.

4. End world hunger. Let's be honest; with all of the trash rockets flying through the air, many birds will be caught in the crossfire. The government would make a rule that any citizen that finds a dead bird will have to gut and harvest the meat. The meat can be consumed by that person or they can donate the bird meat to food banks. Bye Bye world hunger.

Similar concept, just with trash

Get started on building your own Power Slinger

Have you ever kicked a kitten?

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    • GuyB LM profile image
      Author

      GuyB LM 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Thank you for your comment Einstein. Or should I call you Sherlock for figuring out that this was done sarcastically. I understand that your hostility is coming out because you are intimidated by my intellect. Have a nice life-loser.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I feel like you wrote this sarcastically. People like you are responsible for the dishonesty of today's society. FYI: aircraft carry AAMs (air to air missiles) because they are in the air. A SAM is launched from the ground

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      One thing you forgot about is the 'tax problem'. As soon as the government finds out everyone is using these contraptions, they will tax people for using them, thus creating a whole generation of 'garbage cheats'? Sorry, I can't be a part of that!

    • sharonbellis profile image

      Sharon Bellissimo 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

      Not lately, but there is always the possibility.

    • verymary profile image

      Mary 5 years ago from Chicago area

      funny stuff!

    • JeremiahStanghini profile image

      JeremiahStanghini 6 years ago

      Hopefully, you can shake 'n shimmy your way to success in this endeavor! :-)

      With Love and Gratitude,

      Jeremiah

    • GuyB LM profile image
      Author

      GuyB LM 7 years ago

      @MisterJeremy: Thanks, ya know most people think call me "a real piece of work" It's nice to hear the flip side of that. Thanks for the shake n shimmy (that's my new catch phrase that I'm trying to get super popular)

    • MisterJeremy profile image

      Jeremy 7 years ago from Tokyo, Japan

      It's people with ideas like you that make this country great! Who should I make my check out to for the start-up costs?

      Thanks for making me laugh. Blessed.

    • amkatee profile image

      amkatee 7 years ago

      This could be a good alternative. I don't believe in divorce and I won't have to murder him.

    • RecipeSquid profile image

      RecipeSquid 7 years ago

      I still cant stop smiling!! I hope you succeed in your venture of sending trash to the space.

    • brandonmotz lm profile image

      brandonmotz lm 7 years ago

      I wish you all the best in sling-shotting trash to outer space :)

    • profile image

      the777group lm 7 years ago

      What if the rubber breaks?

    • GuyB LM profile image
      Author

      GuyB LM 7 years ago

      @Othercatt: This is no joke. I've devoted my life to this theory and it's going to work. I can't wait for the Power Slinger REVOLUTION!

    • kerbev profile image

      kab 7 years ago from Upstate, NY

      You are so right! We have so close-mindedly limited our environmental destruction to earth, when we could have already started to expand to the universe. My only reservation would be an incident such as this: Amazing Race Watermelons.

    • Othercatt profile image

      Othercatt 7 years ago

      Very funny! (This is a joke right? lol) It's about time someone came up with a plan to cut pollution, end world hunger and create more jobs. You should forward this to the president.