9 Lies of Society to Stop Believing Right Now
If you want to get on the right track to reality, please keep reading because it is real. It’s a matter of whether or not you want to face the truth. It may be difficult for many because our minds have been manipulated over the years to believe certain ideas and concepts that just aren’t true. We go into the world and into relationships with false expectations and look for people to behave certain ways to us or for things to come our way when and how we want them to. The fact of the matter is, life doesn’t work that way. I’m not here to tell you how life works because I’d be lying if I said I knew. I’m learning along with everyone else and will continue learning for years to come.
Lie #1: Body Image – What's Considered "Acceptable"
This is one of the biggest lies that just won’t go away. Body image. Over the years we’ve been told what we’re supposed to look like. If we don’t look that way then we’re subpar or less than the image being portrayed. Unfortunately, people have become so engrossed in this lie; they’ve gone to the extremes to obtain this so called perfect look. With plastic surgery alone, procedure percentages have gone up 37% since 2000 and continue to rise every year according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. We get slammed with false body images every day with tv commercials, mannequins in the shopping windows, magazine covers, sports events, and so on. It’s everywhere – women and men with “perfect” bodies. Well, what did they go through to achieve that look? Are we even looking at an actual body, or is it something that’s been airbrushed and photo shopped 10 times over? We’re striving to achieve a look that’s not even real! Models will tell you themselves that they have cellulite. But yet everyone, meaning children and adults, feel pressured to look like what they see on tv and the image doesn’t even exist. People have gone to disturbing lengths to achieve a look they think will be accepted by society. What society doesn’t tell you is the struggles’ with bulimia and anorexia women suffer, or the wigs and hair extensions that have destroyed their natural hair – including men. See if you can find out how some of these people on tv look like when they wake up in the morning….make up does wonders.
Stop believing the hype – we come in different shades, shapes and sizes. It would be one boring planet if everyone looked the same, walking around with manufactured bodies. It wouldn’t make sense. Of course there's nothing wrong with fixing yourself up to look presentable but there's no need for the drastic alterations. Be yourself.
A note on how body image affects young children
It is well known that this lie of how a man or woman should look has had an adverse impact on younger children – especially girls. Eating disorders are at an all-time high as young girls make push themselves to look like something that doesn’t exist. It’s gotten to the point where medical doctors are expressing their concerns to magazine editors in order for them to stop producing magazine covers with altered images. It affects the way young girls see themselves and gives them the wrong idea about beauty.
Do you think the media forces false ideas of life on people?
Lie #2: Prince Charming riding in on horseback
This belief has been one of the biggest setups for relationship failures. From childhood, women's minds are molded towards this fictitious Prince Charming figure; how he’s supposed to come into your life, sweep you off your feet and the both of you live happily ever after. The toys they place with paint the perfect picture of eternal bliss with the tall dark and handsome husband figure who comes home everyday to his beautiful slender waist wife with nothing to fight about. Oh, and they live in this enormous mansion that sits on rolling green hills with the pink corvette parked in the driveway. Newsflash ladies – Prince Charming does not exist despite what you may have been molded for your entire life.
Now there is a flip side to this. Men have been lead to believe what a perfect woman should look like. Again, you see these images everywhere you go but the reality of the image is never discussed. What you’re seeing on the cover of that magazine or Super Bowl commercial is not real. Everything on her has been doctored, from her breasts, to the removal of cellulite on her thighs to the acne scars on her face. The insane part comes in when comparisons of these cartoon characters are made with real – everyday women.
A lot of relationships have been destroyed because of this belief. Many times people go into relationships with unrealistic expectations of their significant other to fulfill their satisfaction stemming from a fake image they think exists.
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Lie #3: There is such a thing as a perfect family
The mom and dad with 2.5 kids and a dog named Fido needs to be put on the shelf already. The children always respond to situations correctly and mom and dad never fight. Having these elements in a house doesn’t necessarily equate a perfect, nurturing family. These days there are more single-parent homes than ever. Not that it’s a good thing, but that type of family is still able to function and equip the children in those homes to be productive in their lives. At the same time there are families with both parents in the home and it is the most dysfunctional place to be in. We’ve had images of “perfect” families presented to us for years through television and movies telling us “this is what a perfect family consists of”. There’s the big beautiful home off in the suburbs somewhere and dad drives to work every morning while mom sends the kids to school and stays home making cupcakes all day. There are never any mishaps, no one gets tired or frustrated, and everything just goes smoothly 100 percent of the time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting these things at all. The problem comes when people think their own family is less than the image of perfection being portrayed. Looks can be deceiving, so it doesn’t pay to compare your children to what you think is perfect. The same goes for spouses who want their significant other to be a certain way.
Lie #4: Be married by a certain age or something is wrong with you
There may be more pressure from certain cultures than others, but overall marriage always becomes an issue once you’ve reached a certain age and you’re still single, particularly mid-30’s (for most folks at least). All the questions start flooding in from the relatives; “you don’t want to get married?” “Why haven’t you settled down yet, what are you waiting for?” They make accusations; question your health, anything you can think of. Then if you’re not married by a certain age, they just kind of give up on you as if it will never happen. Well, everyone has a different walk in life and people do not get married by age 22 anymore. So many changes in the world have taken place that has affected lifestyles and choices people make in terms of “settling down”.
People have career goals they want to accomplish or they just haven’t met the person they want to be with yet. If you’re that person please be advised that there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not abnormal because you’re 30-plus and haven’t settled. If that’s what you ultimately want, it will happen for you. In the meantime just ignore Aunty and her crazy comments. The worst thing you can do to yourself is get into a marriage out of desperation or because you feel you’re running out of time. It will only serve as a setback for you. If marriage is not for you, that's fine because not everyone wants to be married.
Lie #5: Having children by a certain age or something is wrong with you
This ties into the previous lie – settling down. The family structure is not the same as it was several decades ago, where people settled quickly and had children shortly thereafter. Somewhere along the line, a belief was developed that your chances of having a child as you got older decrease dramatically. This myth has driven some women crazy in their quest to hurry up and have a baby before it’s too late. In actuality, women are highly fertile between the ages of 35 and 40, so there’s no need to panic. Furthermore, recent research showed that 80% of women between 38 and 40 got pregnant after trying for 6 months or less. Yes, there are some risks being associated with having children after 35, but the fertility is still intact. Many women have said that when they stopped stressing about getting pregnant it happened for them. Don't let anyone or myths put pressure on you to have a child. If it's something you want it will happen when the time is right.
Lie #6: Materialism equals happiness
Once again the images we see on tv have us delusional; fancy cars, big houses, lots of money to throw around means unadulterated happiness. Somewhere along the line (especially in the U.S.) the amount of things you own was used to measure how happy you were. Well, there’s pleasure and then there’s happiness. Pleasure is temporary while happiness sticks around regardless. But after a while, what do the materials do for anyone? After a while, we start hearing about tax problems, run-ins with the law, suicide – from people with money and things. So after a while, the pleasure fades and reality sets in- materialism doesn’t fill the void. People need to stop making having things a goal in their life – use that energy to work towards happiness.
Trends in Surgical Procedures
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Lie #7: The more degrees you have the more successful you’ll be
Times have changed dramatically from the days when any education after high school had golden value. Now, recruiters don’t even ask about education level anymore. They’re looking for experience – which a lot of young graduates don’t have yet. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for education, but I will say from personal experience that education means less and less in the job market. I have yet to reap the benefits of my Master’s Degree and barely used my bachelor’s to get a decent paying job. They were more interested in my experience which I fortunately happened to have.
We’re seeing more and more people obtain success without higher levels of education. They tap into their creativity, step in a different direction and take a chance. These days, a degree does not define how qualified you are to work and be successful.
Lie #8: It’s all about you: You’re entitled to more than you deserve
Ever wonder why we’re in the financial crisis that we’re in? A major factor is this delusion of self-entitlement so many people walk around with these days. They haven’t put in the hard work or effort to obtain certain things, yet they feel the world owes them. Someone needs to give them a reality check and let them know it is not about them and they need to stop living beyond their means. Debt has never been higher and people have never been so consumed with themselves. We saw people dive into financial brackets they couldn’t afford to be in during the housing crisis a few years ago, and we’re seeing it today as more debt is accumulated, all for the sake of “living the life”. I vented about homeownership affordability in previous hub.
Please go back and revisit the real definition of needing something and wanting something. There is a huge difference. No, it’s not about you and society has set you up for failure to make you believe so.
Lie #9: Life is so wonderful and dreamy with no bumps along the way
Let’s face it – your dog dies, you didn’t get that promotion you wanted, and your bank account balance is just pitiful. Life can definitely hand us our moments when it gets ready. It has its ups and downs – it’s not wonderful all the time nor is it perfect. Things happen, we make bad choices, or things get to the best of us. But yet society has taught us to perfect phoniness and pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. People are walking around like they have everything figured out, like they’re in control of everything when in actuality they’re a wreck inside. Because of the façade, they’re very quick to deflect and magnify other people’s shortcomings when their situation is worse than everyone else’s. This attitude is everywhere; the workplace, in marriages and friendships. Why do people do this? After a while, the issues catch up with them and they breakdown – to everyone’s surprise. Why? Because everyone thought this person had it together when in fact they didn’t. The harsh reality is, there is no “happily ever after” people and situations will work your nerves and rub you the wrong way. The good news is these moments NEVER last. They come and they go so we have to know how to handle them when they are present. There is no getting around them or daydreaming your way through those moments. It’s a matter of going through them and society has not prepared us for those moments. Let’s not pretend they’re not there, gear up and deal with life’s hard knocks – we’ll be stronger and better at the end of the day.
Dador, D. (2014). Fertility concerns of women ages 35-40 debunked with new research. ABC Local. Retrieved from http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?id=9146536
Hogan, H. (2011). Doctors to magazines: Stop ruining young girls’ lives with photoshop. AfterEllen. Retrieved from http://www.afterellen.com/doctors-to-magazines-stop-ruining-young-girls-lives-with-photoshop/07/2011/