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Chemistry And Romantic Love

Updated on September 16, 2009

The Right Chemistry Leads To Love

It's THE THING that we search for in all potential relationships, yet it is often misunderstood and/or the reported cause of why a relationship did not progress or endure. Examine your understanding of what makes chemistry right- and how what you believe factors into your relationship choices. All you have to gain is a chance at happy love...

True Love And Chemistry: Exploring Myth And Reality

Love Is More Than Skin Deep

When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list?

Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably.

Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.

It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship.

Right? Maybe not. For this definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview

In order to know you have the right connection with a potential (or existing) partner, it's important to have a basic knowledge of what real chemistry consists of, instead of embracing only the myths that surround it. This can be difficult to do. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. So, take a step back for a minute and see if you recognize yourself in the following.

Sarah is a thirty something, very attractive and successful, professional female. She has been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is unfaithful, disrespectful and incapable (unwilling) to make any commitment to her. Yet, when he makes late night "booty calls", forgets her birthday, or stands her up repeatedly - she remains available and willing, in spite of her general unhappiness and upset over their "relationship". Why? "I think I have mistaken great sex for love. I feel this intense chemistry and physical intimacy when we are having sex, even though he offers me nothing else. Over time, it has left me unhappy and feeling badly about myself."

John is an attractive, intelligent, 30 something male who owns his own successful business. He's dating a woman that he thinks he is in love with. He has knowledge that she has been out with other men. She cancels dates and is often critical and emotionally distant. She refuses to discuss commitment or taking the relationship to the next level. Yet, she turns to John for emotional, physical and financial help whenever she feel

Answers to Popular Questions About Chemistry - Excerpts featuring Chemistry Topics- from Dating Coach's column

Do you have questions about relationship chemistry? Do you need help assessing if he/she is the one? Do you have trouble finding people with whom you experience that real feeling? Read my responses to reader questions like yours.

Books For "Chemistry" Homework

Want to go the head of the chemistry class? Check out these good reads on the subject.

How to know if your relationship has keeper chemistry

Watch interview with dating/relationship expert, Toni Coleman- as she answers your most important questions on chemistry in intimate relationships.

This lens is only as good or useful as visitors think it is. Please send along your comments, questions, suggestions, criticisms- or anything you believe would make this a more useful tool.

Reader Feedback and Questions - Do you have a comment or a question? Send it to me now.

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