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How To Save A Relationship Now.

Updated on August 5, 2015

How To Save A Relationship

How to save a relationship depends on what is wrong with it, many things can be avoided by putting a little work into it. If you already have a problem then it is time to get assertive in finding a way to fix it before it breaks you up.

If you are one of the lucky few to find someone that you really get along with you want to keep that person in your life. You developed a relationship and are now having problems, the type of problems you are having will dictate if you can save the relationship or not. I know you can work anything out when it comes to what you want, there are some things that are hard to recover from and will never be forgotten.

Fortunately many problems that couples have are one's that can be worked on, they usually only need better communication and time together. Some are a little more involved and need to be discussed in length to come to a solution, this will take compromise on one or both of your parts to work it out.

Compromise is essential in a relationship and it needs to be shared, the same person can not compromise all the time. This will create resentments and a one sided relationship that is bound to fail.

"Is This The One"

The first Question you should ask is " is this the one?" You want to know if you think this is the person you want to spend you life with, you should have already done this if you are married? So let us consider you have not married yet, if you think or feel this is the person then how willing do you become to save the relationship? Some may be willing to do almost anything, there is no rule how far you should go. I do know it will take work to save the relationship and work to build and maintain a relationship.

You apparently done something right to get into the relationship, however you have not done any work to sustain it. I think communication comes first, you need to be able to communicate to meet and get together. After this you need to learn to and then set aside time to talk and continue to grow together. Spending time together is a good way to keep the relationship strong and alive.

Staying Together

In the world today it takes two people working to get by, and there are many more distractions now then there use to be so it is easier to get caught up in daily life and start to grow apart. You need to take time to do things together even if it is just taking a walk so you have time to talk and stay on the same page.

This is compounded when you have children because now you have another reason to be occupied with other things, and if you have a partner that does not help with the kids or is too busy then you can start to develop a resentment. You need to keep a united front when dealing with things especially the children.

Staying together may be harder today however it is no more impossible then it use to be, it still takes the same amount of work and the little things can mean the most.

I like to be proactive and work on things before they happen, I feel this makes for a stronger relationship when you have less problems. A good way to do this is to participate in the things that keep a relationship strong on a regular basis.

Take a walk together, this gives you time to talk and stay close. It is a good way to do something together that does not cost a lot and it gives you a relaxed situation to address things that may be going on in your lives. I like this as a way to communicate because you are focused on each other and walking gives you time to think about how to say something, I know I think better when I am walking.

Set a date night for yourselves every week or every other week if money is tight. Use this time to be together and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place, have some fun together and it can bring you closer. This is a great way to release the stress from work or the children that you are experiencing, this also keeps your relationship strong.

You can take a walk around the neighborhood or on the boardwalk if you are near one, we have a free Zoo near us that only takes a donation if you can afford it. I give 5 dollars for each person and go there once a year as something different. Take a bike ride or go rollerskating, these are good exercise and you are doing something together.

You need to keep your relationship open and honest, I tell everything I do to my partner so she knows. Talk to each other and keep things out in the open, secrets can damage trust and not talking about things can be construed as secrets.

I like to go out to eat once a week together and use that as a time to talk, I will also lay in bed at night and talk before we go to sleep. This is a good way to stay on top of the things going on in our lives and to talk and make decisions together.

Couple Walking together
Couple Walking together | Source

What Makes A Relationship Work

Some of the things you need in a successful relationship are also part of most relationships you will have. These consist of:

  • Trust
  • Communication
  • Respect
  • Appreciation
  • Love
  • Compromise
  • Understanding

If you have these or can develop them then your relationship is worth saving, that is if you want to save it. If you created the relationship in the first place then there must have been strong feelings there at one point, where did they go and how do you get them back?

Two people arguing
Two people arguing | Source

Arguing In A Relationship

When you are arguing in a relationship you are doing nothing towards fixing it, you need to talk out the problems and find a solution. Unfortunately many people let a relationship get to the point that arguing is the only communication they have between them.

You must communicate to build trust and to keep it, it is needed to meet someone and to date them. You must have done it at one point to get together, the question is was caused you to stop. Maybe there are other problems like not spending enough time together, this is when you need to soul search and decide what you want. Decide if you want to be with the person and then make the time to do things together.

If you have children then this becomes more difficult because you may want to stay together for the kids sake thinking that is what is important and you over look the fact that you could repair the relationship if you tried to.

How Do You Communicate?

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Tips To Save Or Make Your Relationship Better.

There are certain things you can do to save your relationship or make it better so you do not have problems.

  • Communication = work on communicating together and getting closer
  • Trust = build trust by communicating and doing what you say you will, never lie or do anything that creates distrust.
  • Respect = always respect your partner, their family and children
  • Understanding = be understanding to their feeling and what they may be going through
  • Compassion = be compassionate to their feelings or what they may be experiencing
  • Passion = work at keeping passion in your relationship
  • Appreciation = let your partner know you appreciate them, tell them regularly

These are just some of the basic things that make a relationship work, they are also what could be wrong with-in it and need to be fixed. If you want the relationship to work out then put in the work to fix it and keep it strong. You need to communicate and express your feelings on a regular basis so they know how you feel. You have to build trust and be respectful to your partner, understand their feelings and compromise on things from time to time. Keep the passion alive and do things to show you love and appreciate your partner.

couple together for a long time
couple together for a long time | Source

40 Or More Years Together

I love when I see or hear about couples that have been together for 40 or more years, it makes me want to ask them how they have done it. The couple times I actually got up the nerve to do so I received the same answers, by loving and respecting each other. Then I hear about how it was easier for them back then because there were less problems in the world.

Then I wonder if we should give up on love because of the world's problems, remembering how good it feels to be in love always brings me back to sanity and I know I will put my heart out there again to feel love one more time.

Necessary In A Relationship

How to Do It
Talk and spend time toghether
Establishes Relationship
Built by talking and time
Improves Relationship
You have it
Improves any Relationship
You need to give it
Common courteously

Getting Help

It does not matter how we save the relationship, as long as we do it. Here is a book that I recommend because it tells you how to do the things needed to keep a relationship strong and functioning like it should. Learning these things can keep you from ever breaking up or fighting in the first place, if you are already having problems you can see what you should be doing so you know how to go about repairing it. There are other books where you will order this one from in case you want a choice, I have some experience in this matter and highly recommend this one. Good luck...

© 2015 Vince

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