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Is Chivalry Officially Dead???

Updated on November 3, 2011

A few weeks ago I was headed to work to begin the daunting task of surviving yet another mundane Monday. As I headed out of the parking garage I noticed a younger gentleman a few steps ahead of me walking in the same direction. We briskly headed toward the doors as I struggled to carry my tote bag, purse, and sunglasses. Just before exiting the lower level of the garage, I looked down to watch my step on the last stair. Suddenly I looked back up and… BAM! The heavy glass door shut just inches away from my face. The gentleman (actually not so much anymore) who was walking ahead of me continued across the street, oblivious to the act of rudeness that had just occurred. To be quite frank my level of irritation went from a zero to a ten immediately. To think of how extremely close we were in proximity left me perplexed. Reflecting back to that moment, I had to at least be close enough to reach out and tap him on the shoulder. However we could not have been further apart, when it relates to values and respect for old fashioned tradition. It probably would have taken little to no extra effort for him to hold the door open for just a few seconds longer, but for some reason or another he chose not to. I remember thinking, “Where is a man’s chivalry when a woman truly needs it?”

As I attempted to calm my nerves by thinking “happy thoughts” my mind continued to wander else where. I found myself reflecting on all the dates I’ve gone on in the past year. How many times have I had my door opened? How often has my chair been pulled out for me? Had anyone taken the time to assist me in taking off my coat? Did they remember to place themselves on the outside of the sidewalk (closest to the street), so as to protect me from some unforeseen accident with a motorist by chance? Humm… Most of the guys that I’ve dated were considerate enough to open the door for me when we entered establishments but very seldom had they opened car doors. On top of all that, they hardly ever cared enough to walk me to my front door, that is, unless they were expecting something at the end of the evening.

Years ago (before my time) it was normal for a man to provide extra care towards a woman’s needs and safety. I remember how negatively my grandfather thought of young men who refused to introduce themselves to him and my grandmother when picking up one of their daughters for a date. Although my grandparents were considered very traditional God-fearing people this was a way of life all throughout the country years ago. Now try to fast forward to the new millennium…Many parents in this generation seem to have no idea who their children are going out with, let alone where their children are. Which brings me to this point… Is it possible that the lack of chivalry that is displayed in the younger generation stems from the shortage of good fathers or good parenting altogether?

As I watched the clip of the gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) who has been nick-named “The Bailer” I have to wonder where the disconnect occurred. For those of you who are not in the know, here is a brief synopsis of what occurred. Last week during the Houston Astros game, a couple (Bo & Sarah) in attendance unknowingly became the target of a speeding ball. Chris Johnson, who was up for bat, sent a foul ball flying in their direction. As the fast traveling ball was headed towards them Bo stood on his feet in hopes of catching it. However, the ball neared the couple and in fear of actually being hit Bo dodged the ball, bailing on his girlfriend Sarah. As a result, Sarah was struck with the foul ball instead. Because this awkward moment was caught of camera, this couple has become quite famous, and has since broken up. If you’d like to see the actual footage you can You Tube “Bo The Bailer”. There is no way anyone can refute the fact that this Bo character did not have a chivalrous bone in his body. I admit that the clip of this incident is quite humorous but his reaction represents one of the problems present in the generation of men we are raising.

While a great number of people view the idea of chivalry as being antiquated, I am sure there are many more people who respect traditional values and beliefs. The question is, what can we do to make sure that chivalry does not die? In my opinon this responsibility falls mostly on the parents. We have to teach our daughters to expect chivalry. Truly they are delicate stones worthy of being treated with the utmost respect. We must also teach our sons how to treat women or better yet ladies. If the fathers aren't present, moms have to step up and carry the torch. But... it doesn't end there. Let us make room for mentors and individuals who are considered role models to revive chivalry in the younger generation. Everyone has a responsibility to share in the knowledge, values, and traditions that they have learned. Otherwise, we'll raise a self centered and misdirected generation who have no regard for values or tradition. With this being said, DO YOUR PART to ensure that "Chivalry Is Dead" becomes a quote of the past.

What Do You Think

Do you believe that chilvary is officially dead?

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    • Ellana317 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

      You are definitely right about that. It does start with empathy. Now I have to be honest, I held the door for a couple the other day and niether of them uttered a thank you. Those types of things are discouraging but it won't stop me from being a do-gooder. :-)

    • chuckd7138 profile image

      Charles Dawson 

      7 years ago from Bartow, FL

      John Wayne, as George Washington McLintock in "McLintock!", said, "You have to be a man before you're a gentlman. He fails on both counts." ... I think the "he" is now over 98% of the males in the Millennial Generation. Today's youth has too much apathy and not enough empathy. Chivalry, in my opinion, starts with empathy.

    • Ellana317 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

      You may a very good point Shri Mc. It is good to get children in the habit of being selfless.

    • Shri Mc profile image

      Shri Mc 

      7 years ago

      My son still holds open the door for people he doesn't even know and though I don't say a word it melts me inside to watch it. I make my girls hold doors for people too so they learn to see the need not the deed only.

    • Ellana317 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

      MiskS- Thanks for your input. This hub was mostly geared towards men being chivalrous toward women but I do agree that we should ALL be courteous to one another. Sidenote: I also believe that I deserve special treatment for being a woman. I realize I'm putting myself on a limb for admitting that, but there are just certain instances where it's appropriate. IE...moving boxes or changing a flat tire. I notice that men typically treat their daughters differently from their sons in upbringing, so why is it a problem for a woman to expect the same when she becomes an adult? I do realize that some of my beliefs may be a bit antiquated but I respect other views as well. So thanks again for your opinion.

      DChosen_01- Yes, I've heard about the statistics concerning women being more authoritative and to be honest I think it is an attempt (gone wrong) to prove themselves equal to their male counterparts. As far as the Sarah and Bo situation goes, He was foul (literally) and I stand by that. LOL...

      Dashingscorpio... I agree with what Steve Harvey has said whole heartedly. Men don't go the extra mile because they don't feel they have to. Then, when a lady comes along expecting this type of behavior they're considered high maintenance. As far as the thank you goes, I make sure to say thank you every time someone does something courteous for me. Why...because I realize that in the world we're living in many people have an "every man for them self" mentality. So, a little kindness goes a long way. BUT... don't let a few bad apples ruin it for the bunch. Do the right thing! LOL... Thanks for your comment. You brought really great input to the table.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      wow! Well said dashingscorpio!

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      9 years ago

      According to Steve Harvey "Chivalry" isn't dead, It's just not required."

      However I'm incline to believe there is something more to it than that. If chivalry is dead it's not because men changed the rules, it's because a large segment of the female population changed it.

      Some view certain acts of chivalry as being sexist or chauvinistic. It became a challenge to demand treatment as an "equal" and at the same time be treated as "special". A guy would not pull out his male bosses chair for him to sit in and most people would not think it's appropriate for him to pull out a chair for his female boss.

      This man treated you exactly how he would have treated a man. However I do think some people are just rude and had it been me I probably would even had held the door open for a guy who was struggling to gather himself as he walked.

      Rudeness cuts both ways though.

      I can't tell you how many times in my life I have held a door open for a woman and she walked in without saying "Thank you" or didn't acknowledge me period.

      She acts as if the door were run by remote control.

      I can just imagine a guy calling a woman on it.

      She'll most likely say, "I never asked you to open a door for me!"

      Maybe some women think if they talk to a guy he'll try and pick them up or something. They don't want to feel indebted to someone they're not interested in.

      Paying a compliment to a woman "the wrong way" can also be construed as sexual harassment.(Harassment is subjective. In most instances if a woman is interested in a man it's not harassment. It's not "what was said or done but WHO said or did it that determines if it is harassment") I think a lot of men have decided to just be "nice" to women they're interested in. They treat the rest the same as they would a guy.

      Not long ago Dateline on ABC did an experiment with an attractive woman having a flat tire and they also put her in the same scenario dressed in a "fat suit". A lot more men offered to help her when she was thin.

      Maybe chivalry isn't dead. It's just reserved for women that men are attracted to.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      hmmm! Mr Micks, I do not know what to say! But I guess you are totally right. Mrs Ellana317, more emphasies should have been placed on weaker set of people such as the disabled, the non-affluent, the maltreated and etc. I think these are the weaker people we should show politeness. Besides, just as Micks said, we all deserve it. Do you know that statistics shows that the most authoritative set of bosses are the woman? Mr Professor used to say that a woman's government is not easy to tolerate. Give a woman power and see what happens next. Don't get me wrong, your hub has really enriched me, but I think more emphasies should be placed on the 'weak' ones as those who by chance fall under other people's grace. If Sarah was the one standing in front of Bo and she noticed the ball coming towards them, she is also expected to protect him if she truly loves him. If she dodged as Bo did, she would also be criticized as Bo is been criticized now. So my point still stands, Chilvary should be analyzed not in one dimension but generally.

      Nice Hub, I appreciate it.

    • MickS profile image


      9 years ago from March, Cambridgeshire, England

      When we talk about chivalry, courteous and considerate behaviour, especially towards weaker people, we are really talking about good old common politeness, to any one, regardless of gender. However, you seem to be suggesting that women deserve to be treated chivalrously just for being women, that they should have special treatment; sorry, women are no more deserving of special treatment than men, and that is at the request of women, all the campaigning for equality, that means everything.

      Is the world less chivalrous as a result, yes, and a worse place for it.

    • Ellana317 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

      Hello all... Please bare with me if there are any grammatical errors. This is my first hub. I truly hope you enjoy reading it. There will be more to come. ~God Is Love


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