- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Men Never Argue With A Woman
When a man puts up an argument for his point of view, he re-enforces his image as a male animal who must resort to overpowering a woman to show his superiority, his intelligence, and his ability to control all situations. No woman, by god, is going to show him up either at home or in public. He has the hair on the chest, the balls, and the muscle to back him up. He might even have a couple dopey budds to help put the little woman in her place. "Get me a beer here," is a very commmon command that seems to switch on and gain momentum as more budds show up to watch the big game.
Women, aside from the obvious characteristics, are well equipped to counter the most compelling male argument. They also have a tremendous advantage over men when it comes to sexuality. They are able to control primitive sexual urges that men readily give in to. A good proportion of men will give in to these urges even when it is dangerous or against their best interests to do so. Researchers suspect and are looking at how men and women use similar intelligence differently. Women and men are hard wired in different ways.
The man wants a possession, a trophy for other men to desire and for the owner to puff up with pride and show off to friends. He wants a sex object who is ready, on standby, willing and able. Is it any wonder that women, seeing no other solution, use sex effectively to get what she wants from a man? She also must think defensively and as a protector of children. How many men are afraid that a spouse will hit on them when they come home from work? Shelters are one lifeline that have sprung up in communities to deal with the problem. Laws are changing to protect the woman, however, unless attitudes change, there will always be a need for shelters. Women will suffer at the hands of .narcissistic male abusers.
Even though they know right from wrong the man will choose the path of least resistance nearly every time. Humans are one of the least monogomous species on earth, yet put on some of the greatest shows on earth to show their innocence. Geese mate for life. Few species can match the goose for loyalty and sexual fidelity.
This quirk between the sexes definitely puts the woman at advantage, while she may know she is in control, nevertheless, the male will develop many tactics to counter his feelings of inadequacy, his obvious desire, and his frustration that she may show no immediate proclivity to hop in the sack an hour after they meet. His perceived need may be so great, on his first date he rushes her until conversations that make her uncomfortable and sets up an immediate barrier which is not likely to be overcome. she wants to go home, alone. Many men will interpret this as a challenge and will choose this most inappropriate time to attempt to convince her she is making a big mistake.
Most men are clueless when it comes to listening to what a woman wants. When she says, " I need some time alone," he is likely to take this as rejection and use it as the basis for another argument. If she says she isn't ready for a relationship he will agree to be casual. But when she begins to feel stifled and tells him to back off, he does just the opposite.and clings to her like lint.
He may argue with her for hours trying to convince her that what they had was more than casual. He may follow her around, sneaking and skulking about in an effort to find out who she is having sex with. He cannot respect her enough to take what she says at face value. He is think about what he might do under similar circumstances. The extreme of this abnormal behavior is a confrontation that ends in a bad way. It is all too common for the woman and sometimes the children to be bludgeoned, shot, set on fire, or run over by an automobile. When asked why he did it, the man will usually say: " I loved her, why else?" Society has set a very high bar for her to escape a domestic threat. Police admit they fear domestic confrontation more than anyother call they go out on. Statistics, indeed bear the officers fear out. A significant number of offcier injuries and deaths occur during domestic call outs. These are armed and trained men afraid, yet a woman is left to face a crazed domestic partner without a gun or backup, alone and out of her mind with fear, and nowhere to turn.
Men should never argue with a woman because it looks and sounds pathetic and robs the man of the respect he needs and wants from his partner. With loss of respect, a loss of love gradually follows.
When a couple reaches the marriage counselor's office, very often everything else under the sun has been tried without success before they get there. What happens? Immediatey the man barges forth and denies everything, placing the blame squarely on the spouse's shoulders, name -calling, ( you bitch!!! is popular). and how he is a victim though it was he who cheated, lied, and managed to rob her of self-esteem throughout the marriage.
Of course, not every marriage counselor experiences such a scenario, but this act plays out in many counseling situations, sometimes even with a positive result. Many men actually believe that the woman cannot survive without them, however, when the chips are down, it is the man who comes home for a reconciliation. It doesn't take long for him to discover that the single life may be very unfulfilling at times. Rather than spend some time alone, working on himself, he cannot stand the silence of an empty He does not want to face why he cannot be alone with himself.apartment or to be without a woman to validate his worth, who will give "unconditional love," and to maintain his status among peers. To attempt this, she will go along with his perception that he is the most powerful lover alive, with a huge member that is the envy of others. When she is unable or unwilling to continue to pump up his ego, he will react like a child and make unreasonable demands. If these demands are not met, he may resort to violence in an attempt to put her back in her place.
A man who has the ability to allow his partner to vent her feelings witout feelihg the need to defend, give advise, try to change, or attack, is well on his way to becoming a man. A book that boasts that "it can teach a man to" get any woman." As if this were nirvana or desirable in its singular goal which focuses always on what the man wants. (the presumption here is sex and lots of it with no strings attached)..
The man who looks away from himself and who listens to the heart of others with humility and respect finds there is no need to possess any woman, or any man either. The paradox is: Those who give up control are pleasantly surprised to find they finally have it. Those who continue to "look" for love in another usually continue to make the same mistake over and over again, hooking up with a near replica of what they escaped from. it is through exploration of inner self that these destructive patterns are set aside to be replaced with more satisfying feelings. from this beginning, a new world of possibilities ay emerge.
*Theologians have long recognized the so called wily ways of a woman to fit their purposes. It is Eve who gets both she and Adam thrown out of the garden. Early theologians placed on woman the mark of sin by depicting Eve as the first sinner, thereby earning Adam a superior position with the status of ruler and wise sage, both in society and at home. Of course, this is the Judeo- Christian position. Other cultures have followed the model, even though a caveman to protect, clothe and feed a tribe is no longer necessary.