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Mississippi Lesbian Teen Sent To Fake Prom – And People Wonder Why We Gays Go On And On About Discrimination

Updated on April 15, 2010


Constance McMillen, the Mississippi teen that went to court when she was told that she couldn’t bring her girlfriend to prom (or wear a tuxedo, as it was deemed disruptive by school officials) saw that when people really want to discriminate against you, they find a way. Even though a judge ruled in her favor, the original prom was cancelled and she was told she could attend a prom created by parents. All good, right? Not so much, when she arrived at the prom which took place at a country club she discovered that there were only about seven students invited to this so-called prom (two with learning disabilities) and the rest of her classmates were all partying at a different prom somewhere else that night to which she had not been invited. Nice parenting, folks. To understand the deceit that had to go into this is staggering. Think of all the lies that school officials and parents had to tell, the lies their kids told to keep the “real” prom a secret from McMillen. Think about it and then ask yourself if this was really all worth it, to keep two kids from attending an event together. Ask yourself what you would do in this event. Would you speak up or would you like so many have done throughout history just sit back silently doing nothing? If you chose to do nothing, you’re no better than the hate mongers who came up with the scheme, you’re no better (wait for it, here it comes) than the many Germans who were and weren’t Nazis who sat by and watched while innocent people were killed, burned, starved and worse at the hands of an irrational leader filled with fear. Mississippi lesbian teen sent to fake prom – and people wonder why we gays go on and on about discrimination – Don’t Get Me Started!

To read the full story, here’s a link to the Huffington Post article - - I myself had to read it a few times before I could even believe that this had happened. It seems so diabolical that at first I couldn’t comprehend how anyone could be a party to something so disgusting. Then I thought about my spouse who is a black man who in his lifetime has been met with discrimination over and over again. The thought that in his lifetime he saw the damning stupidity of white leaders and citizens who forced blacks to drink from separate fountains or not be allowed to swim in public pools never ceases to make my heart ache. I know a little bit about discrimination too. From being a Jew and from being a kid who knew he was gay all his life and never spending one day at school without hearing the word, “fag” hurled at me or being beaten up. I don’t know that the white, straight, ruling class in America understand how good they have it or why they don’t use their power for good. Like it or not, white men still run our country and as long as they cling to their bibles as a way of “blessing” the injustices they do to minorities, women (and please someone explain to me why you women don’t rise up – there are more of you, you have a longer life expectancy than us men and yet you still seem to allow these white Christian men to make the rules of you getting paid less for doing the same job a man does and allowing them to legislate everything from what you do with your body to who you can marry, I don’t get it, ladies) these white supposed Christian men dominate over everyone, making rules out of the fear of anyone who thinks or looks differently than them or who may be smarter than them. Kill what you don’t know or fear and then you’ll be able to maintain the status quo I guess is their motto but it’s time for a real change and I can only hope that Obama is a start to it. However when you read stories like the one about Constance McMillen, you can’t help but wonder if we’ll ever see the changes we really need.

Here’s something I know some of you will not believe but being white and Christian doesn’t make you a good person or parent. I read in the papers every day about children who are abused or killed at the hands of their mother or their mother’s current boyfriend (there’s a case here in Vegas going on right now where a man killed a year old little girl under these circumstances). I read about children molested by priests and the Pope knowing about it while the religious followers blame the children or turn a deaf ear. And yet you’re still going to tell me that homosexuality is wrong, that gays can’t be parents and that we’re not allowed to go to prom together? There’s a story of a male student who won the right to go to prom with his boyfriend only to find himself thrown out on the street by his parents when they found out about it. Again I say, nice parenting.

Understanding is supposed to begin at home. And while I do blame ignorant administrative leaders at school districts who are struggling to keep their jobs by keeping the most vocal (white Christians) parents happy I also blame the other parents who know better. Where the hell are they? Where are you “real” Christians who are supposed to be turning the other cheek, teaching kindness and doing what Jesus would do? Where the hell are you and what are you teaching your children when you sit by and allow such injustices to go by without teaching your children how wrong they are and showing them how wrong they are by standing up and letting your voice to be heard? And don’t tell me that one voice can’t make a difference. One voice, even an anonymous one could have stopped Constance McMillen from showing up to that fake prom and being humiliated once more (as well as the other kids who were deemed, “not wanted” and were told only about the fake prom). Where are you people and if it were your kid, you tell me you wouldn’t have wanted someone to step up and let you know? I’d like to see us gays be given equal rights in my lifetime but with each one of these monstrous acts that take place the further I realize we have to go before we’ll truly see equality and the more I’m convinced that we gays can’t stop talking about things like this and making everyone within earshot aware. Mississippi lesbian teen sent to fake prom – and people wonder why we gays go on and on about discrimination – Don’t Get Me Started!

And now something I never do – here’s some info from the other side of this issue, a posting by one of Constance’s Classmates…I’ll let you decide…

**Open Minded Readers Only**

I am a senior at IAHS, and I’ve known Constance for the last 6 years. Please hear our side of the story before you decide on our fate.

The party we had in Evergreen (the county neighborhood I live in) is 30 mins away from the school. we rented out the community center, hired vendors, decorated, and our parents ran the security/chaperone staff- but it wasn’t prom. Prom was at the country club where constance and 7 other students were. The reason the senior class boycotted the actual prom was not because we hate gays. We wanted a drama-free gathering to celebrate 3 great years and 1 lousy one together, and we wanted to lay low. We also wanted to do it without the main cause of the lousy. What people are failing to realize is that much of the fault of this whole stink lies with Constance, not her mistreatment by the school district, but her crazy-reckless need for attention. It sounds mean and horrible and like we planned it all specifically to embarrass Constance, but we didn’t. We let her have her prom with her girlfriend and her tuxedo and we went to party it up in the “boondocks” not because we wanted her rights violated, but so we could salvage what has turned into a total fiasco. As a whole we didn’t support her decision to throw the district under the bus, or her insinuations that we’re all just a bunch ‘a hicks driving around in beater pick up trucks spitting tobacco and burning crosses. IAHS is one of the top schools in the state and I’m proud of that, and I’m proud that we took a stand and just said you know what? forget it, we have just as much right as you do to have a party for ourselves. So we did, and now we’re getting flack because poor Connie’s ego got a bit of bruising. She’s playing the lesbian card to prove she ALWAYS gets what she wants. This time, we didn’t just let her.

Take it as you will, because I’m sure it sounds like we faked her out, but understand this- the decision NOT to attend prom had nothing to do with the school or with Constance’s sexual preferences; it had everything to do with proving we weren’t going to let her and the ACLU steamroll us into doing what Constance wanted. We flexed the muscle of the majority and we’ll suffer the consequences.

Soon after, she posted this…

Thanks to everyone who has responded to my post from earlier this evening. First want to apologize for the misrepresentation of the motives behind our decision. Secondly, I want to apologize for any discomfort I must have caused all you revolutionaries who are working so hard to bring change to such a small minded place as Itawamba- but do me one favor. Please, do not assume that every graduate from IAHS is stupid, incompetent as I seem to all of you. I ask that you forgive my very emotional attempt at defending my home. I personally believe that the whole thing has turned into a tempest in a teacup, so to speak, and I wish now that things could have been changed. Again, I ask you though please do not sterotype my school, county, state, or region based on what I have said.

Thanks again.

Read More Scott @


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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 6 years ago from Las Vegas

      K9keystrokes - love ya right back! Check out my recent blog posts at my site

    • K9keystrokes profile image

      India Arnold 6 years ago from Northern, California

      You know I love ya Scott, and this hub confirms why! Outstanding stuff my friend. Linkalicious!


    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks MM - here's some follow up. Apparently Lance Bass and some of his celb pals are going to through an all inclusive prom in Mississippi...wonder if the kids who excluded Constance will show up?

    • profile image

      Molly's Mom 7 years ago

      Scott... this was the BEST ever. Very well written, and so much from the heart. I am going to share this with so many. Starting with my very own family. I can't say enough about this. Is Thank YOU enough? I think not.

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 7 years ago from carthage ill

      this great write standing for people god speed its wrong to judge any life thanks

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks Ladyjane and once again let me say that your son is very lucky to have you as his mother!

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

      Wow Scott what a sensational read. I heard about this incident but didn't know about the "fake prom" but I am not surprised really. My son is gay and he has been through so much discrimmination that my heart is always aching for him and worried about him because there are so many close minded people out there who think that homosexuals are a lower species then them. Most of which are so called Christians who are so quick to tell you that you will go to hell while holding the bible in the other hand. I don't get it and never will. I am behind everything you say and everything you stand for. Good job with this hub.

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      king123577 7 years ago

      that was cruel and done to innocent people i think some need a jesus check why would you do your family like that?

    • profile image

      king123577 7 years ago

      how many people have skeletons in the closet murder.child molesting

      incest no one is special who cares if they are gay or straight who really cares?parents no how to raise thier children yes or no?

    • profile image

      king123577 7 years ago

      whoa i think that friends do what they love what crime have they committed ]

      they may wanted to go as friends nothing more nothing less