- Gender and Relationships
~ Relationships .... From A Man's Point Of View .... ~
# For you, guys & dolls #
So, do you think you are currently treating your partner the way in which they deserve to be?
" Hi! I'm sex on a stick! "
~ Love In The Twenty-First Century ~
It was remarked upon in the nineties and noughties that:
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (no! there's no rude rhyme to follow this-sorry to disappoint some of you!).
I used to be addicted to the 21st Century and tried to fathom the mystery(ies) between man and woman in this confusing, high speed, low drag age we live in, have done many kinds of jobs, met tens of thousands of people, and have seen the best and worst of human nature. I cannot qualify everything here concretely, but these are just a few observations I've made about us men and the fairer sex; the things that we have in common and those that separate us. It is by no means an exhaustive account, but hope to explode a few myths about both sexes in order to help increase our understanding of each other.
Firstly; Women......Aahhhhh..... :0)
1/ Ladies; As you may already know (I've no intention of patronizing you), the two most essential weapons in your armoury to attract and keep a man are make-up and lingerie. Without these, in tasteful application, most women look as plain as an old bucket and have more chance of raising the Titanic than a mans' interest. (Sorry! not my opinion, but what I've heard from the shallow-and I've heard worse).
Secondly; Men (brace yourself)
2/ From what I've experienced, seen and heard, it doesn't matter what you say, do, think or what special talents and abilities you have, or how you treat her; a woman knows straightaway whether or not you have any chance of making sweet music together and still be dancing long after it has stopped.They have a sixth sense about such things - call it intuition if you will .There's no getting around this I'm afraid. If she ain't buzzin' off you, forget it.
However! All is not yet lost. To improve your chances:-
a) Keep clean! Shower and smell gooood!
b) Wear a white shirt and a smart suit.
c) Don't shave everyday. Women still want a man, not an effeminate version of one.
d) On no account stuff a pair of rolled-up socks down the front of your budgie-smugglers to try to impress her; wilful falsification of a portion can lead to severe repercussions and you'll be dealt no mercy when, during your nocturnal adventures, she finds that she fell in love with a polyester pecker.
e) Treat her with respect (whether she deserves it or not) ,but don't be a sap; put your foot down when you have to.
f) Be generous. Buy her beautiful gifts; surprise her now and again!
Us men are simple creatures at heart. As long as we have our food, home comforts etc...a bit of time on our own now and then and regular attention from you, we are quite content, and in the best position to make YOU happy. Make US happy and you can have anything you want - the sky's the limit!
Things that men don't like about women:
a) Badly dressed. Nobody wants a twelve-sandwich-eating, nappy-assed excuse in jogging bottoms with a fag hanging out the side of her gob,who swears like a navvy. A woman who dresses like a woman gets the vote every time.
b) Tattoos. Generally ,most men don't like to see these on a woman. I don't mind them personally. An exception would be perhaps a very small one, sweet ,and tastefully done, but all too often when not done properly, can look cheap and tacky. (If you fancy experimenting ,try transfers instead of being permanently marked instead; you can change them when you get bored).
c) Nagging. Squeaky wheel gets the oil, but pointless harping and moaning about triviality really annoys most men (unless he's one of those weirdos from the 'spank me quietly with a chamois leather' brigade).
Men: Things you can do to increase her happiness:-
1) Don't be a tight-ass. Get your hand in your pocket and get spending! After all, she is/will be, the mother of your children, so treat her nice - she deserves it.
2) You have TWO ears and ONE mouth, so listen. When she comes home from work or shopping and blurts,"Sandras cat has just had a shit behind the telly and Terry from accounts has just gotten the promotion I was after and I can't believe it and I don't know what to get my Aunty for her 30th wedding anniversary ...etc....". This is NOT nagging. Do not confuse the two. Remember, she is not looking for a solution to these problems. Just listen. Nod sagely at regular intervals and cast an expression of sincerity here and there. It could be the cycle, or she's maybe just feeling tearful or emotional. Reassure her ,kiss her and love her; that's what baby needs right there and then.
Things I've noticed that women don't like about men:-
a) Cruelty to children and animals.
b) Full beards.
c) Trying to fart the theme tune to 'Mr.Popper's Penguins'.
d) Too skinny or too fat.
e) Arrogance without foundation.
f) Cheaters (not the spotted ones).
Things I've noticed that women like about men:-
a) Tall, dark and handsome (old-fashioned maybe, but still true).
b) Confidence (not arrogance).
c) Money, money, money.
d) Nice eyes.
e) Healthy,and looks after himself(buns of steel a bonus).
f) Intelligent conversation.
g) Personality-a love of life;good sense of humour.
So,if you've been blessed with the face of an Angel,and the body of a gorilla,you're in with a shout.
Things that turn a man onto a woman:-
a) Beauty( inner and outer ).
b) Pretty, smiley, and/or sexy eyes.
c) Attractively dressed, but not slutty.
d) Feminine grace.
e) Caring nature.
f) Nice bod.
Doubtless, not everyone will agree with all of this but hopefully, the generality of the theme put forward may help to increase experiential knowledge and foster understanding of each others' faults and foibles, quirks and habits.
And finally :-
Thank God for woman. You are the most amazing and lovely creature to have ever been placed on this earth; please remain so. Long may you continue to shine and be the glory of man.You will always be loved, from generation to generation. :)))