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Resolve Conflict the Simple Way
Pay Attention to Conversations
Active Listening is very Important to Better Communication
Resolve Conflict Easily
The few situations I faced up to has taught me how to cope with resolving conflict.
It happens to everyone, and it depends on how you choose to face up to the issue.
Some arguments could be resolved if couples would listen to each other.
I, sometimes go on and on, in trying to prove my point.
I listen to what my partner has to say, and by that time, I would have already said it all.
Has this happened to you?
Resolving conflict can be relatively simple.
The lack of listening leads you further to another problem.
The attempt to win my conversation has uncontrollably left me speechless. It is like I am lost with words in trying to get to my point.
The understanding of what the other person has to say is crucial with whom you are in conflict.
The example as follows:
John had mentioned to Barbara about a soon to be
Thanksgiving vacation, and that he would like her to spend this time with his family.
Barbara is confused about this arrangement as she has already planned to spend Thanksgiving dinner with her family.
The missed communication lead to many arguments and in this case they are trying to win their argument.
Each one is trying to get the other to spend the
Thanksgiving dinner at their families homes but it did not work out.
The problem here is no couple can win such an argument, because none of them agree to where they are going to spend the Thanksgiving dinner.
Their solution was to end the relationship.
If one chooses to spend the Thanksgiving dinner at their family home the other will be required to cancel their plans.
The wishes in this relationship do not seem important.
Barbara would resent being at John's place and on the other side of the problem. John will resent being at Barbara's place.
Plans were made without consulting the other here Barbara assumed in her plan that that she can include John without asking him if it was okay or possible.
Both really lose the battle in this relationship.
The conversation as John announced was as ''Barbara, as you know.''
So Barbara made her plans without the confirmation of Paul's plan.
It is a reflection back to the other person in his or her words and feelings.
Identifying your position
I learned that stating my thoughts and feelings about the situation resolves the problem.
Exploring alternative solutions
The brainstorming in exploring other possibilities.
Active listening or reflective listening
The listener has to clarify the words of the speaker in order to know what is meant in the actual spoken words.
This includes going further and clarifying the feelings of the speaker.
The two people did not understand each other in their conversations but were quick to pick on one another. who was wrong or right in this discussion.
If one understood the view of the other the thought of just the one way or no way would have never come up.
How to explore alternative solutions?
Evaluate the possible solutions until the couple agrees upon one.
If the couple were open to many possibilities they won't be the feeling of resent in both places.
The idea of spending Thanksgiving dinner in both places is a solution to the problem.
It would have been fun spending half time in each home.
Both partners would have enjoyed their time together.
In that technique the whole purpose is no to convince someone that your point of view is correct.
Here you don't manipulate anyone involved in the missed communication.
The whole intention is to come down to an alternative solution in which both partners feel happy.
If you are not willing to end up at a solution avoid using the alternative solution, and if you are not willing to give up your power you have over an individual avoid using the above-mentioned method.
For example, the power of a parent over a child, and the boss's power over the employee.
Be more assertive when resolving conflicts.
When sitting your posture in leaning forward you are engaged in conversation.
It is known as Physical behavior body language.
Communicating by the body posture is often said as presented just as you see it.
Sometimes people feel more comfortable in expressing themselves with body language rather than verbally.
Nonverbal communication is always noticed like when you scratch your heads when perplexed, you smile when greeting someone, a hug that shows affection and wave at someone going by.
If you can’t stomach someone you keep a stiff lip when you see them.
''She has no backbone.''
These gestures thoroughly explains your feelings non-verbally.
In trying to express non-verbally this can be easily misinterpreted.
Often there is a misunderstanding in nonverbal communication.
The message sent across is not always the right one.
If a man and woman hug each other on their first date and start to caress and kiss passionately this can send a wrong message to the brain of a man.
Why does that happen?
He gets aroused.
When she pushes him away and feels he is impatient he gets confused.
The situation has to be clarified before taken into consideration.
In making a conversation make sure you have sufficient time to talk.
In this way you understand each better and know the meaning of your conversations.
There should be no distractions in communication.
One requires an understanding of the actual conversation or discussion.
Learn to listen before laying out your argument.
After time spent with people it allowed me to see how much can be talked about.
The listening part of communications fails when people don't have that skill of listening.
People should speak clearly and in a fair toned voice for others to understand what they actually mean in their conversations.
I often hear people's conversations, and don't understand them if they don't speak clearly enough.
When you start a conversation, begin with an agreement when you begin with a disagreement it all goes out of control.
This applies if you disagree with someone, and then start with the agreement. It requires listening to find a point of agreement.
I have discovered during my conversations that if I used the word, ''but,'' it is like I have erased every word from my conversations.
For example, if an individual says, ''you can do this but not that.''
What are they saying?
My needs may be important but forget about them because I am now about to hear what is more important.
This word, ''but,'' has taken away my needs and the real issue is not focused my needs.
Pay attention to how people use this word, ''but.''
Try use more of the word, ''and than the word ‘‘buts.
If you use more of the word ''and,'' your needs will not be erased.
For example, you can say'' your needs are important and you can try something new.''
When the word ''I'' is used in conversations you expect others to listen to you intently because the focus is on your beliefs and opinions.
Try not to ask ''Why.''
If you ask someone the following question:
''Why did you go home so early?''
A question such as this, can mean that a person has to justify to you. Of why they had to leave the function early which I think is most inappropriate.
Communication is misunderstood in all languages. The techniques used in solving the misunderstanding is very important to all individuals this is to avoid the many disagreements.
Communication is often a Problem in Many Relationships
How do you Resolve Conflict?
Face up to conflicts
© 2014 Devika Primić