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Women Dating Over 40

Updated on July 15, 2012


After the age of 40 divorced women seem to become less desirable for a long term relationship to men. We are flooding up the dating sites but what are we really getting? It seems that most men in our age group are not looking for women 40 and over and the ones that are see us as desperate. What does it mean when men our age and younger men see women in there 40’s as desperate, it means that they are not looking to build a long term relationship with us, it means that they will work as fast as they can to get us into bed and that's it.

They feel that we would fall for a bit of charm, some false promises claiming that they are committed and if we are lucky we may get a dinner or two. However, once women in there 40’s are taken in and surrender to our vulnerability the men get what they want and then find an excuse as to why the relationship won't work.

Most women 40 and over are viewed as no longer a sex symbol by most men of all ages, we have a limited pool of decent men to choose from that wants to take us on as life mates. The fact that we no longer look like a 20 or 30 year old and our possibilities of having children are low to none has added to the strikes against us.

What I have noticed is that women over 40 seem to be ending up with alcoholics, abusers, unemployed, drug dealers, and even worse. Simply, they are ending up with less than desirable men because they are lonely and there seems to be no other options for them.

I noticed something on some of these dating websites; men want to see many pictures of a woman before he even decides to take her out. I had one man who wanted to see me at every angle, short of telling me to put on a bathing suit so he can check me out all over. This says to me that if women over 40 are not in fit shape then they are even more excluded from finding a life time mate. It seems that it doesn’t matter to men our age that us women have lived; most of us over 40 have had kids and have sacrificed our lives to raise them while holding down a job, for some of us. Also as women over 40 we have limited control of the natural changes that are taking place in our body. I was recently told that I have an oversize uterus, a result from giving birth to my children but it just seemed to flare up in my 40’s and my only solution is to remove my Uterus, BIG decision. This however isn’t something I had control of or that was even a factor until I got into my 40’s, am I suppose to be denied a life time mate, a husband because of that.

A gentleman in his 40’s said to me once that he knows it is wrong but he has to be attracted to a woman before he can date her. It is not wrong; you should be attracted to the person that you want to date. What was wrong with what he said was that he only looked at slim women, under the age of 40 even though he was 45. It seems that his predetermined perception doesn’t see that any women outside of his box could be attractive to him; He seems to be unable to see beauty outside of that box so how can he ever be attracted to any woman outside of that box that he has created for himself. What is the most alarming part of that is, that he is a larger man, slightly balding and certainly not in any fit state but as women most of us wouldn’t exclude him because of that. As women we would get to know him and base our feelings on how we get along together, his heart and compatibility, we would love him to death. Doesn’t that just suck for us women over 40 years old who are not given the same consideration?

None of us women had planned to be single over 40 years old, it was a surprise to us as well but we deserve a life and we deserved happiness.

So for us women over 40, I want you to know that there are good, decent men out there, it may take some digging to find them but don't give up. You are worth nothing but the very best, just remember what you are up against and stay strong.



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