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10 Flimsy Excuses Men Use to Break Up With Girlfriends

Updated on March 22, 2016
MAN: "I'm breaking up with you because you cannot take a joke like this.
MAN: "I'm breaking up with you because you cannot take a joke like this. | Source
MAN: "I need a single life because you have kept me from having two weeks a month to study Middle Eastern Sculpture."
MAN: "I need a single life because you have kept me from having two weeks a month to study Middle Eastern Sculpture." | Source

Man is truly a living mystery

No one, not even Einstein, although he was a man, could never figure out what makes men tick. Actually, I do not believe that there is no evidence of him every trying to "nail down" the little wires that are attached to bigger wires that make the man's brain work and his tongue run wide-open.

Speaking strictly from first-hand experience, I can and will go on record as saying that I have done things over the years that in latter years have almost driven me over the edge because of their stupidity and senseless origins.

MEN: be totally honest with me. Are you guilty of doing something senseless?

See results

This is a short list

That I have made of the senseless things that I have done. Not recently, but over the years.

  • Telling a customer, "Hold it. I need to get to a phone," when I worked for our weekly newspaper.
  • And at that same newspaper a candidate for mayor of our town who had just bought and paid for a quarter page ad asked me, "what do you think of the mayoral election?" I replied, "Well, sir. I do not think that the incumbent mayor has any competition." No wonder that the guy's face turned a ghostly pale.
  • I walked into our darkroom to talk to our darkroom tech and although I saw it plainly-written in bold letters "HOT WATER" on the plastic bucket he was using to mix his needed photo chemicals and out of sheer stupidity, I asked, "Is that hot water?" After I stuck my hand into the boiling liquid.

MAN: "I need to break up with you for I really work for the CIA and I do not want you to get hurt."
MAN: "I need to break up with you for I really work for the CIA and I do not want you to get hurt." | Source
MAN: "I want to break-up with you because your teeth give me the shakes.
MAN: "I want to break-up with you because your teeth give me the shakes. | Source
MAN: "I want to break-up because you know that I am allergic to the outdoors."
MAN: "I want to break-up because you know that I am allergic to the outdoors." | Source
MAN: "Get out! We are over because you  are a slob. You brought a fleak of dirt in on your butt and sat down on my clean couch."
MAN: "Get out! We are over because you are a slob. You brought a fleak of dirt in on your butt and sat down on my clean couch." | Source
MAN: "You want what? Me to pay half of the time when we go out? No way. I am outta here."
MAN: "You want what? Me to pay half of the time when we go out? No way. I am outta here." | Source
MAN: "I am breaking-up with you due to you wearing stripes and they offend my religious beliefs."
MAN: "I am breaking-up with you due to you wearing stripes and they offend my religious beliefs." | Source

Thank God I am not the only man

who has ever did or said something so stupid, asinine, and completely unneeded that those around him never forget because there are more men who are also guilty of using any phrase or bogus idea to break-up with their girlfriends.

Thus the name of this hub . . .

10 Flimsy Excuses Men Use to Break Up With Girlfriends

(Men are talking to their soon-to-be-exes)

10.) "I want to break-up because you cannot do a decent raccoon impression."

9.) "You make me so angry at how you despise my former girlfriend for calling me for advice on her social life."

8.) "I want us to break-up because you cannot do one magic trick."

7.) "I want us to call it quits because you are quick to tell me that you cannot keep going at working two jobs to support "us."

6.) "Please let us break-up for my sanity. 'Get a job today!' is all I have heard for five years."

5.) "I want to break-up for you look nothing like Lindsey Lohan."

4.) "Yes, dear. A break-up is inevitable because your dad hates it when I call him a bum for drawing Workman's Compensation."

3.) "I need to break-up with you, sweet baby because you always throw a fit for me wanting to hang-out every weekend with my beer-drinking friends and that hurts my feelings."

2.) "Why not break-up? You won't let me have a gal pal online for some sweet love talk."

1.) "Yes, I said break-up. My last few birthday gifts from you were cheap. Not expensive like I wanted."

Girls,

watch out.

MAN: "I want to break-up due to our clothing never matching.
MAN: "I want to break-up due to our clothing never matching. | Source

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    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Sweet Jennifer,

      I not only appreciate your special friendship, but your honesty as well. Thanks so much for this comment and you can write me anytime.

      This has prompted me to think about "if" I ever used some outlandish excuses for breaking-up.

      I can think of one: This girl was so needy, controlling, and insanely-jealous that breaking-up was like going from prison to freedom. I remember telling her that if we were to marry, I could not give her any kids due to my excessive smoking (cigarettes).

      Oh well. It was tough getting over her. That was the longest day in my young life.

      Your Friend for Life,

      Kenneth

    • Jennifer Mugrage profile image

      Jennifer Mugrage 2 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Ha ha! Some of those are of course totally far-fetched; others, sadly, not.

      You are pretty hard on men - ALL IN FUN - and of course they deserve it, but just wanted to point out that as a woman, I've said and done my share of inane things as well.

      Hang in there my friend.

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