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10 Misconceptions About Being Non-Binary

Updated on June 11, 2016

1. We are just looking for attention.

In fact that's the last thing we want. Being who you are instead of who people tell you to be is the last thing that someone wants to do. If we were looking for attention we wouldn't go out and announce to the world that we are non-binary. Instead maybe you would run across the streets pretending you are a purple fluffy unicorn riding away into a rainbow sunset. The last thing we want is attention because it just points out our differences. In our world differences aren't as easily accepted as being the same.

2. We are intersex.

If you haven't heard of the term intersex it means that you fall between both the male and female sex’s. At birth you are born this way and some people lean to one gender rather than the other when older. Which comes to the point that gender and sex are two different things they do not go hand in hand. Gender is socially constructed; we are given a gender based on our sex. Some people will come to find that they belong to the other gender or not belong to the binary genders at all, thus we have non-binary people.

3. We all have to look a certain way.

Let’s be real does everyone look the same in this world of diversity that we live in? Putting things into boxes is what we want to do and when we find someone who does not fit into a certain box we get confused and which ends up with us maybe not accepting them. There are in fact stereotypes within the LGBT community but that doesn't mean that someone who you never thought would be non binary cant be non-binary because in fact anyone can because it is about the way you feel not the way you look. Now if you really want people to question you just go out with your head half shaven, rainbow colored locks and flamboyant shirt because who really gives a flying F**K!

4. We have medically transitioned.

Medically transitioning is someone’s personal choice and every person is different. If taking that step to medically transition is what is going to make you feel better then by all means do it. But there is no rule stating that you can’t be non-binary if you don't transition. As said before you don’t have to look a certain way to be non-binary because we may come to find that all the non-binary people look the most different in this world full of Starbucks coffee, blonde hair and Ugg boots.

5. We are just pretending to be someone else.

I once pretended to be a wizard, lets just say I stabbed a bunch of people with my wand, which was actually just a stick I found on the ground it did some real damage. But being non-binary and accepting us as not being within the binary genders is very hard for some people and it only truly comes down to wanting to be you. Being someone else may be much easier but being you is what everybody really wants in life. That is of course you are pretending to be Beyoncé then by all means be Beyoncé because gurl she slays, yaaaaaaaaassssssss.

6. We just don't know what we want.

Yes it can be very confusing and it takes time to work things through and that’s the key word, time. At first we may not know what we truly want but in the end your heart goes the way that it wants to go. You have to stick to your feelings because only you can ask yourself what is truly best for you. But don’t talk to yourself, well actually do its very therapeutic indeed, just don’t have a conversation with yourself because then we would say that you might have to get that checked because that the real problem.

7. We are making things up.

There are in fact studies and lists of facts that state that we aren’t making anything up. If being non-binary is made up then if you really think about it everything is made up. We as people create things to make us feel like we are a part of something and when you don't feel like part of something you create something else so that you can have that feeling of being part of something. If we were to make up the fact that we are non-binary then we might as well say that we are king of the world because why not that seems like something that is possible!

8. Our pronouns don't matter.

Pronouns are very important. It makes you feel as though you are who you are. Lets take someone who identifies as a female and was born as a female they would most likely want to use the female pronouns. If you take that same person and use male pronouns instead of their preferred female pronouns she would probably not like it. Now take a non-binary person, they can use any pronoun they want to because as long as they are comfortable with it other people shouldn’t question it. If you use the pronouns that they don’t want you to use they would also feel like that female who in that case was not called by the preferred pronouns.

9. Our sexuality has to match a gender.

In fact it doesn’t. Sexuality and gender are two different things. Lets take sexuality; it is something that you feel. You are sexually attracted to one person but maybe not the other. This is the hardest part. Identifying as non-binary you aren't put in a box where you are either male or female. Choosing you sexuality can be anything you want but people also want to take your sexuality and gender you as either male or female based off of it.

10.We aren't “normal”.

What is normal anyways because I would say that rainbow cats are you know the real rage in the “normal” society today? Nobody in this world is normal and if you are then I would have to say that you are a pretty boring person because being normal would be like that one SpongeBob episode where SpongeBob just wanted to be the average Joe and when he was he ended up not liking it. Being normal is so old school yoooo!

I conclude this with saying that, non-binary people are people. As we all do, we wish for a place in the world where we can be accepted. Although not the same we all are equal because in the end isn’t it really ourselves that we have to live with? Just remember to work it gurl or dude or whatever you like, because you were born to show the world how to shine!!! But don’t shine too much because we don’t want to blind people with our awesomeness, that would be bad.

© 2016 EstherHoekstra

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