10 Problems Men Will Never Understand
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or a woman misunderstood! There are little things (and big things) that we do that mystify even the smartest of men. Something as simple as using nail polish to preserve costume jewelry or the multiple "life hacks" we can accomplish with a single bobby pin make us seem like the wizards of the world. Perhaps we are, or maybe it's simpler than that. Here are 10 things men just don't understand:
1. Waking up extra early to wash, dry and style your hair
Managing to look well put together and not throwing my Jamoca Almond Fudge iced coffee at someone on a crowded New York train should be considered my feat for the day. Every day.
Yes, periods. It's easy to blame Aunt Flow for mood swings, sweatpants and food filled days but do they really know what's going on down there? I didn't think so.
3. Buying bras
Women can't just walk into Victoria's Secret, pick up a bra and buy it. It's more complicating than that! There are so many factors that go into picking out the right one. There's a whole jumble of numbers,measurements, cup sizes and prints. Oh, the prints! Not to mention these little necessities are kind of expensive!
4. The great make-up debate
My boyfriend constantly tells me that I look beautiful when I'm "all natural." The natural look is foundation, bronzer, blush, mascara and eyeliner. You have no idea the illusions we can create! I wonder if he knows what I really look like under here. [Insert worried face here]
5. Carrying an extra pair of shoes with you
Wearing heels on the morning commute to work is not only uncomfortable, it's downright dangerous! Sure we wear frumpy shoes on occasion but we make up for it later on in the day. Just wait for it.
6. Walking in heels without looking like a fool
Walking in heels is like the equivalent of walking on a tight rope. You must remain calm, put one foot in front of the other and move forward gracefully. It doesn't matter that you're aware that a fall from this altitude could mean a broken hip and a pretty serious concussion. It's all about the style and we own it.
7. The ultimate shampoo selection show down
Yes, we like our hair to be shiny, frizz free, and voluminous. If all of that can happen while our split ends are being mended and our scalp is being moisturized then all is right with the world!
8. Psssttt, hey sexy.
Excuse me creepy man, did you lose your cat? There's nothing more annoying than being hissed at, pointed to, questioned and antagonized by abrasive men who believe you should be flattered by their attention.
9. Bathroom lines, am I right?
Why are there 42 women on this line and 3 guys on that line? Are they peeing faster? Are they sharing urinals/stalls? You're guess is as good as mine. They're cheating in some way, I know it!
You can pick up all the parenting books ever written but nothing can truly prepare you for the real deal, like you know, the part about pushing out a human. No, sympathy pains will not bring you to the same level. It still amazes me that women have the capability of creating life. Men should appreciate that. We're magical.
I'm in no way saying that women are dense, self-absorbed, materialistic beings that spend all their time in Sephora and finding the perfect heel. Some women don't even do the make-up and heel combination and that's fine! They are still working the world in their own kick-ass way and representing the rest of us as they're doing it. As women, we are capable of accomplishing anything and everything. Despite your lifestyle ladies, always remember, boys drool. I'm just sayin'!
And as the old saying goes, anything boys can do, girls can do better. Or something like that.
Do you think there are things men will never understand? Leave me a comment and let's talk about it!