Why You Shouldn't Date a Married Man
Despite the fact that there are millions upon millions of single men in the dating pool, some women choose to date married men. And while some women choose to date married men (probably the minority), there are also men out there who present themselves as single (probably the majority) and don't reveal that they're married until the women they are dating are hooked. These men are scumbags, which is a good reason alone not to date them.
Whatever the reason, women need to take control of their lives and avoid married men at all costs. No woman who's in her right mind should ever willingly date a married man, no matter what that married man says about wanting to get a divorce. Let him get the divorce first, then you can date him. Don't be the beginning of the end of his relationship because that will be what defines you and your relationship. It is a very hard thing to overcome.
Unfortunately, I guess this kind of logic just isn't that easy for everyone, so here are ten good reasons not to date a married man.
Have You Ever Known a Woman Who Dated a Married Man?
- Well, he's married - This is probably the most obvious reason not to date a married man. If you are dating a married man and weren't already aware of this reason then you're probably not very smart. In fact, if you're dating a married man, it doesn't really matter whether you know about any reason for not dating him, you're just not very smart anyway. Basically, anyone who "dates" a person who is married isn't very smart. So, just to sort of get the basics out of the way in case you're still not getting this: when another person is married, they're taken. They've made vows to another person. They are legally bound to that person. You can't technically "date" a married man since he's not really available to be dated. Got that? So, about right now you're probably thinking something along the lines of "well, he's not happy with his wife" or "he's going to leave his wife". That's all well and good. Let him leave his wife first. It's not like he's going anywhere. Also, a married man who's dating a woman has serious trust issues, as in, you can't trust him. What happens when you're married to him? I'll tell you what. You're going to be wondering if he's cheating on you. NOT WORTH IT.
In Your Experience, What Are the Most Common Reasons for Dating a Married Man?
- Availability - Married men have availability issues. When you want to go somewhere on the spur of the moment, a married man is likely to be tied up with family responsibilities. If the married man has kids, he might have to pick his kids up at school at the same time you want to go to a movie. This will totally suck. When you want to go out to dinner, your married man is likely going to have to eat dinner with his family or his wife in order to keep the ruse going that he cares about them. Thus, you're going to have to figure out activities at a lot of odd times. If this married man has a job, he's not likely to be available during the day. If he's trying to keep his relationship with you from his wife, he's not likely going to have a lot of time at night. In other words, you're going to be seeing him at a lot of odd times and probably not very often.
- Money - Depending on what a married man makes, it's very likely that a lot of his finances are going to be tied up, which means less money to spend on you. You may want to go to an expensive dinner, but unless he's got a separate bank account he can hide from his wife, this is going to be pretty hard. And you may want him to buy you something, but then you'll be taking food right out of his kids' mouths. Nice job there, kid starver.
- Kids - You may not know this, but a lot of married men have kids. When married men have kids, that usually means they have obligations to those kids. Every second you spend with a married man is seconds he's not spending with his kids. So this is a guy who's probably not a very good father. Is that the kind of guy you want to be with?
- He's sleeping with another woman - When you date a married man, you already know that the guy you are dating is sleeping with another woman. It's like built into the relationship that the man you are dating is cheating on you with another woman. The woman just happens to be his wife. Still, this isn't exactly a foundation upon which trust is built.
- The Wife - Imagine for a second that you are the wife of the married man you're dating. How happy would you be to find out that your husband is dating some skank (yes, that's you)? You probably wouldn't be too happy. You'd probably follow your husband and see if you could figure out who this woman was. And once you found out who this woman was and where she lived, you'd probably show up at her door and give her a piece of your mind or worse. Catch my drift? Do you want to live in fear?
- What Goes Around Comes Around - Let's imagine, for a second, that everything you want with your married man comes true. You date for awhile and you manage to hide all of it from his wife and kids. Then he decides that you're the one and he divorces his wife. And then you and the married man get married. And a few years down the road, he's out late one night and you don't know where he is. And then you remember back to how you met. How can you ever trust such a man?
- You're the Other Woman - No matter what your married man's marriage is like, no matter what a crazed lunatic his wife may be, no matter what a horrible person she is, you are still the other woman. Your married man's wife may have killed the family pets and drowned her children, but being the "other woman" is not going to be any fun. Generally, society reveres marriage. The husband and the wife are the core of that institution. You are an outsider. You will be blamed for the break-up even if the man pursued you. The "other" woman is going to be blamed for everything. You better have a very strong constitution to make this work. Ultimately, most rational people would say it's not worth it.
- The Foundation of the Relationship - Let's say everything goes perfectly in your relationship with your married man. What is the foundation of the relationship? No matter how you may look at it, other people will regard your relationship as built on lies. You had to date your man keeping your relationship quiet. Your man had to lie to his wife. It just doesn't seem like something built to last. That's not to say that it doesn't, but it's yet another challenge.
- You'll Lose Friends or Family or Both - When a relationship defies convention, not everyone is going to pat you on the back and say "way to go". In fact, you need to be prepared to lose friends and possibly alienate family members. You have absolutely no idea how people are going to react to dating a married man. Further, if this man has children, you are breaking up a family. People have very different experiences with such things and they may express emotions you may not expect and it could hurt a lot.