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10 Reasons Why Women Stay Single

Updated on March 22, 2018
Lesa Densmore profile image

Certified addiction advocate, coach and consultant, Lesa uses lived experience and education to promote addiction awareness and prevention.

Too Fabulous to Settle

Today we live in an era in which women have more access to opportunities, many are choosing to stay single without plans to marry. According to a Pew Research study, only 20 percent of women age 18-29 in the United States are currently married, and many have not set goals to do so. Whether a woman just hasn’t found the right person, or is burning with independence, the reasons are unique to the woman choosing the single path.

It may seem that the "thing to do" today is to be in a relationship or coupled up, the reality is that being single and remaining that way is becoming quite popular; some research says it can actually be better. Sure, there can be wonderful perks to being in a loving and supporting relationship, but there’s nothing more fulfilling than the relationship you have with yourself, which many experts say should happen first anyway. A recent published study, provides new evidence that people who stay single instead of getting married, or who get divorced instead of staying married, are especially likely to be healthy; married women have a higher rate of obesity, high blood pressure, anxiety, and stress.

Being single means you get to do things on your terms, by your own time. This alone is reason enough that many women stay single for a long time, and often decide not to marry.

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Reasons Women Stay Single

Career Driven

For many women career comes before love. Women are more driven today to become financially secure and enjoy the satisfaction of their education and hard work. For the career driven woman, marriage and/or starting a family is on the bottom of their list of goals to achieve, and some women just don't want to share their hard earned money.


Women have learned to establish their own security and safe haven without the presence of a partner. This isn't to say that women don't like the security or safety that a "good companion" can provide. Women who are of the independent type don’t like being controlled or told what to, not this occurs in all marriages, and certainly can be vise versa. Some women just don't want to deal with another persons drama and problems. For independent women, there is a sense of bliss that comes from not having to answer for ones actions or decisions.

Personal Freedom

Let’s face it, being single represents cocktails, high heels, and unencumbered weekend mornings. Making one’s own schedule free from a significant others’ obligations is a major kick to staying single. This isn't to say that single women don't date or have companions to fill space on those empty nights, or when needing some nurturing. Personal freedom means fun with no obligation.

Not Going to Settle

Women are no longer settling for the “wrong person” simply because they are anxious about not being married or having children, and with more women being independent, they are simply not willing to settle for no reason. Many women stay single until they meet someone who makes them do a complete 180, meets their expectations, and fits into their lifestyle and goals.

Baby Options

Women don't need a spouse or partner to have a child. According to a Census Bureau Report, 35 percent of women in the United States between the ages of 15 and 50 are single mothers. The support and resources available to single mothers as seen tremendous growth over the years. Many women do not want to be a wife, but still want to be a mom. Today, women can successfully raise a child without a husband or partner.

Already Content / Happy

Women of today are more self-fulfilled and don’t need a partner to be happy. Although a meaningful relationship can contribute to a persons happiness, attitudes are shifting where a woman does not need a relationship to feel happy. Many women feel that self-contentment, and being happy with themselves is enough, and are not willing to jeopardize that with just any person.

Put Off By Players

Women who date will choose to stay single if they meet people who are not suitable mates. Being single is preferable over being with someone who doesn't show respect. Many women hold off on commitment because those who may be dating material, are not marriage or relationship material. It's true that women often have to date to discover what they want and don't want, but women are not just committing if the person is a player, and doesn't respect her.


Concerned it will impede on social life and career goals, many women don’t want marriage responsibilities, or the task of providing for or taking care of a partner. There's no doubt that a serious relationship and marriage comes with responsibilities by both parties, but the care giving, nurturing, multi-tasking requirements of marriage, pushes some women to steer clear, or wait a long time before making that serious commitment.

Because She Can

Societal changes have enabled women to stay single and live independently. There was a time not long ago when a woman could not open a bank account without her husband’s signature. Women are simply enjoying the freedom to own their own lives as independent, capable adults, not just playing the role of wives or mothers.

Women, Strong, Independent, SINGLE
Women, Strong, Independent, SINGLE

No Need for Relationship

Single women don’t need to commit themselves to anyone else, because they have something special going on with themselves. Single women can provide and count on themselves, and are happy with forming relationship on their own terms, if they choose to have them. When it comes to pleasure, well single women can make themselves orgasm like no one else out there. Single women who choose this path feel they have it made, and most plant to keep it that way. What else do you need when you can provide, please, and count on yourself?


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    • Jaye Robinson profile image

      Jaye Robinson 

      17 months ago from Michigan


      "...some women just don't want to deal with another persons drama and problems. For independent women, there is a sense of bliss that comes from not having to answer for ones actions or decisions."

      I thought that was so beautifully written because that is my testimony. I just can't deal with the issues of another adult. My plate is already full. Thanks for such a great correlative article.

    • Lesa Densmore profile imageAUTHOR

      Lesa Densmore 

      22 months ago from Windsor, New York

      Well said! and thank you for that very "real" perspective. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness; whatever that means to each individual... and yes! we owe ourselves the world! Thanks again!

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      22 months ago

      "Single women don’t need to commit themselves to anyone else.." Very true!

      Truth be told there are only 5 basic "needs"

      1. Air

      2. Water

      3. Food

      4. Shelter

      5. Clothing (It's the law in most places)

      Everything else is a "want" or would be something nice to have. Most people find a way to get whatever it is they "need". What depresses people is being unable to have {the things they want}.

      Marriage is a lifestyle choice.

      Life is a (personal) journey.

      We live on a planet with over 7 Billion people. Odds are there are very few men having difficulty finding a woman to date or marry.

      Seldom if ever does anyone hear of men proclaiming they doesn't "need" a woman. Maybe that's because that's a given.

      Men pursue relationships with women because they (want) to.

      In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!

      As for "settling" I believe settling is nothing more than making a final decision. It's human nature to take the "best option" one {believes} they can have under any given circumstance. Another thing that comes into play is the "cost" versus "reward" factor.

      If you present someone with two cars whereby one of them is a 2018 Audi A7 and the other is a 1972 Ford Pinto most people are going to choose the new car. However if you state in order to get the new car you must complete a marathon but there are no requirements for getting the Pinto.... Some people will "settle" or choose the Pinto because it requires (less effort). Others might elect to just jump on the bus. Did the people who took the old car or rode the bus "settle"?

      Not really, they simply decided it wasn't "worth it" to get the new car and thereby (chose) the option that felt was best for them.

      If a woman actually (wants a man) but has given up on finding the right man and instead has chosen not date any men she essentially has "settled" for doing whatever (she believes) is best for her!

      Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

      The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!


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