- Gender and Relationships»
- Singles Life
10 Reasons to Stay Single
I've had several serious long-term relationships in my life, and each one has taught me something invaluable about myself. But what I've recently learned in the months following the breakup with my last boyfriend, utterly eclipses everything I'd ever figured out before. I have realized that I simply don't want to get involved in another serious relationship. Ever. That is not to say I wouldn't want to date sexy men and, ah, let's say get to know them on a more personal level -- but I don't have any desire to be a couple. Like, ever. Just casual flings from here on out, thank you very much, as I've gotten too old to conform to things like dating rules anymore. And before you think I'm just a bitter, pre-middle-aged female who would change her mind in a heartbeat if Daniel Craig proposed (and ok, I probably would), let me break it down for you, because I think it will make perfect sense once you see it all in black and white: It's called freedom!
Sleep Is Lovely
If you doubt the above title, try going without it on a regular basis for a prolonged period of time. The problem with being a couple in a serious relationship is that sleep becomes a luxury. In my case, I always felt restricted while someone else was sharing the bed, because I need to be able to move around and change sleep positions frequently. Hard to do when someone is right next to you. Not to mention the cuddling... how is one supposed to sleep whilst curled up against a human furnace? Not easily, let me tell you. And I won't even mention the frequent wake-up calls for boudoir acrobatics. I do not enjoy being awakened for any reason, and I do not enjoy being deprived of sleep for any reason. And without sleep, I am evil. Therefore, it is better for humanity if I am allowed to get as much of it as I possibly can. Which is a great motivator for staying single.
No Need to Associate with People You Don't Like
Do you like everyone your significant other is friends with? Me neither. But it can be tricky business, convincing your partner that they are associating with morons and your mutual time would be better spent doing something else. If you're single, or just casually dating someone, there is no need or unwritten rule requiring you to put yourself in the company of people you absolutely cannot stand. And that sounds good to me.
No One Will Invade Your Space
I like personal space. Mine extends from here to Venus, so it's pretty hard not to invade it if you're living in the same flat with me. I get the concept of sharing and making space for your partner, but surely everyone feels cramped and suffocated from time to time. (Or is that just me?) If you are not living with a man (or woman) then you needn't worry about anyone being underfoot when you want to have a peaceful, quiet night at home.
Your Money is YOURS
IMO, the ideal relationship is one in which both people are equal bacon-earners who pay for everything equally. I've never been in one of these, but I am sure they exist. What's nice about being single is that your money is yours, and you don't have to worry about anyone guilting you into lending them some, or paying off their debts, or just simply letting them freeload. Oh, and you don't need to worry about them pocketing it if they happen to find some in your wallet that's been tucked away in your purse, which was hidden at the back of the closet. But let me not go there. All I'm saying is that it's nice to only have to worry about your own expenses, and not someone else's.
You Can Flirt With / Pick Up Whomever You Choose
A lot can be said about being able to flirt with anyone you want to flirt with, and pick them up if you're of a mind to. Obviously, being part of a couple would make that less likely to happen, unless you have an open relationship, and the truth is we do notice other people even when we are in a good solid relationship -- this way you don't have to censor yourself or your behavior.
No Need to Change Your Lifestyle
When you're single, you can be friends with hot guys and it's not going to upset anyone, cos you are not in a relationship. You can have any sort of job you want, and it's not going to make anyone jealous, because you're not in a relationship. If you want a quiet night in, or wild night out, you don't need to consult with anyone, because there is no one checking up on you. It's absolute freedom!
No Worries About What They're Getting Up To
Boyfriend dragging in late with a lame explanation about why he smells strongly of perfume? If you're single, that wouldn't be happening. Do you have a partner who deliberately tries to wind you up and control you by manipulating your emotions? Wouldn't be happening if you were single! When you're single you don't have to worry about the childish games idiots and psychopaths play -- you just get to relax. It's fantastic.
Fat? Who cares?
Women tend to worry about their weight and body a lot more when they are trying to keep a man tethered to their apron strings. Or when they are trying to attract one in the first place. This is understandable and we've all been there. When I dumped my last boyfriend, I lost a lot of weight because I couldn't eat. In fact, I got rather sick from it. And then I rediscovered food. Food that I wouldn't let myself eat when dating in the past, because I didn't want to get fat. That's not to say I stopped training / exercising and started binge eating, it just means that I no longer let myself worry about what someone else was going to think about my weight. And you know what? I haven't gained back a single pound, despite eating more of what I like these days. (Perhaps it's actually men who make us fat, LOL.)
No Need to Consult on Decisions
When you're single, you get to call all the shots. I can choose the flat I want, the furniture I want, the food I want, etc. I don't need to bother myself with worrying about whether or not someone else is going to be unhappy with my taste, or choices. I don't need to take another person's job or lifestyle into account before choosing a flat in a new location. I can just plan everything according to what makes the most sense for my own life. And that is true freedom!
No More Fighting
Ok, not everyone fights like cats and dogs, but most couples do argue once in awhile. And if they don't, it's usually because one of them is giving in to avoid doing so. Therefore, I must point out that when you're single, none of these things are issues, unless you're a schizophrenic arguing with yourself. And you won't need to walk on eggshells to avoid the arguments, either.